monkbot talk

Monkbot Has Moved

2007-03-02T13:21:00.000-06:00

Come over to the new place and join the fun...

Our new address is monkbot.wordpress.com.

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Nevermind...Registration Off

2007-02-27T23:32:00.000-06:00

I don't like it. I can't stand it.

Sooooo....no more registration.

However, I think we need to all be vigilant about letting folks know they are welcome...but they need to comment with some kind of name.

Anonymous comments aren't cool!

This is your brain.

This is your brain on Anonymous comments.

Any questions?

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Better...Not Amazingly Fantastic...But Better

2007-02-27T21:32:00.000-06:00

The boys on American Idol did manage to improve their game from last week...but I'm still feeling that the girls might have the edge this year.

Here's my quick run down from Tuesday night (real quick...as I'm pooped and want to head to bed). Believe it or not...I felt Simon was dead on for all of his critiques.

Phil Stacey -- I don't get it...he dedicates "I Ain't Missin' You at All" to his fellow military men and women? Okayyyyy. Let's face it...the guy never starts strong with his songs. He improves as he sings, but this is not exciting or unique. I've heard better male singers at my church. That's not a put down...just an illustration of how commonplace it is. That said, I think he's safe this week.

Jarod Cotter -- And for the creepiest song dedication of the night, Mr. Cotter decides to sing "Let's Get It On" to his parents. Um...gross...my Cringe-O-Meter tops out at 11 (out of 10). Plus, he stinks the song up like a pair of socks in my brothers' laundry hamper. And...oh...let me be sure to mention the little hand move down the face. All I could think of was "Alien face hugger." My Cringe-O-Meter suddenly spiked at 25. I fear widdle Jarod might be spending next week with his mommy and daddy...'cause he could go home after that one. Yikes.

AJ Tabaldo -- I hate to admit this...but I liked his performance (of some soulful song I didn't know, but that he dedicates to Ma and Pa Tabaldo). The guy cheeses me out more than y'all can understand...but I have to give him props. However...AJ, if you plan to continue to win me over...please, for the love of all that's good and right in the world...quit with the arms-over-the head dancin'. Buddy, that move is lame with a capital GOOBER. I think he saved himself this week.

Sanjaya Malakar -- When, oh, when, will the Michael Jackson fedora crap end? Sanjaya is such a cutie...he didn't need to overdo the look. His performance, "Steppin' Out," was dedicated to his late grandfather. His voice is lovely...but he sings as if he forgets to actually breathe. He is so silent and low-key that I want to check his pulse. If he would embrace his sexiness (which is hard for 17-year-old...I know) and gain some confidence, it would help so much. I fear for Shamalamadingdong this week.

Chris Sligh -- Chris took on the musical manna...Ray Lamontagne's "Trouble," dedicated to his cutie-pie wife. He does a great job and truly makes the song his own. I don't think it was his shining moment, but it was good enough to keep in the competition.

Nick Pedro -- Nick comes out singing "Fever" for his sweetie girlfriend. I gotta say, this guy has a fantastic voice...probably my favorite male voice this season. The performance is 1,000 times better than last week's, but he's still needing to gain some comfort on stage. (He gives me an Elliot Yamin vibe.) I think he's safe this week...but he's going to have to step it up...majorly.

Blake Lewis -- Blake was a little off his game this week. He tackled "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai (dedicated to his parents). He does good enough to stay in the game, but not enough to be called a stand-out tonight. I still like him and am rooting for him, 'cause the guy has a lot of talent.

Brandon Rogers -- Dedicating "Time After Time" to his grandmother...Brandon walked out onto stage...and gave an utterly amazingly...boring performance. The guy really needs to head home. Sorry Branny.

Chris Richardson -- Another performance for granny...Chris sings some Jason Mraz song that I don't know...but that I really like. He has improved greatly from last week. He chose a song with lots of tongue-twisting lyrics like Blake did...but he totally kicked Blake's butt. However, I have to say my Cringe-O-Meter did register a strong 11 when I realized he was singing "I could be the one to take you home. Baby, we could rock the night alone"...to his Gram Gram. Just...yikes. (Didn't anyone think about this stuff BEFORE these kids decided to sing sexually explicit songs to their relatives?) However, Chris is safe...this kid has "STAR" written all over him.

~~Sundance Head~~ He Who Shall Not Be Named -- HWSNBN sang "Mustang Sally" as a dedication to his newborn son, Levi. Okay, the stuff about his baby was sweet. And it's good for him that he chose an upbeat song. However...ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz. The only thing that kept me from totally falling asleep was sitting there in amazement that he didn't put potholes in the stage with those anvil feet of his. It's not just that the guy can't dance...he can barely walk. Please send him home.

Okay...those are my thoughts. What are y'all's?

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Entertainment Weekly's write-up. I'm usually with Michael Slezak...but I think he's a little off with his Jarrod Cotter lovin'.

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Let's Play da Fun Game dat Helps Us Learn Each Udder's Names

2007-02-27T17:51:00.000-06:00

For those of you who haven't seen Disney's "Heavyweights"...
it's Monkbot Assignment time...
GO TO BLOCKBUSTER RIGHT NOW!
(I secretly am in love with Lars)

Wow...our little site is really growin'!

I've noticed in recent days that there has been somewhat of an increase in regular site traffic to Monkbot...this pleases me.

And all the new faces in the comment section has me thrilled. Please allow me to formally welcome...mouser, spaceytracy, SoulPatrolShari, Chaos, Hatson, Karen (or have you been around these parts before?), NoTaylorObsession, and jcitysoul.

I've also noticed quite a few Anonymous commentors...and y'all are welcome, as well.

However, because having more than one Anonymous makes things confusing...and because I like to know a little bit about the folks coming to my site to comment...I have decided that (UPDATE) ALL BOLD MONKBOTS SHOULD ENCOURAGE SHY MONKBOTS TO AT LEAST MAKE UP A NAME FOR CLARITY SAKE Monkbot needs a registration process.

Okay...before anyone panics...let me assure you that this isn't my way of censoring anyone. Rather, I think it's a good way for me to keep order on the site.

Anyone who has posted at Gray's knows you have to include an e-mail address before submitting that nerve-racking FIRST POST! This will be much the same (I think).

At least let me try it out and see how it works before y'all start throwing wet fish at my head. Okay?

And I don't want anyone to worry about encountering any difficulty in registering. I'll implement the "body system" (see Lars reference above) to help in times of crisis. The system works like this...if anyone has a problem...e-mail me at monkbottalk@gmail.com and I'll be your "body" (buddy) and try to help you through it.

If it causes too many problems for too many people...I'll remove the process.

Thanks to all for your patience...now...go register so you can comment on what a pain in the butt it is to register!

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR A GOOGLE ACCOUNT.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR A BLOGGER ACCOUNT. (Which is basically the same thing as above because Google owns Blogger.)

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UPDATE: Okay...y'all let me know if this is worth the effort. I know it's easy...but I was hoping to get more information on everybody through their profile information. Since that ain't happenin'...I guess it's still good that folks are required to at least post under an actual name...instead of anonymous. I need feedback from everyone. Let me know if this is too much of a pain in the @$$, 'cause I'll remove it if so.

Thanks.

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Escape from Wackadoo Island

2007-02-26T21:55:00.000-06:00

Let's face it...when you tell someone you're in the Soul Patrol...oftentimes you brace for the worst.

On more than one occasion, I've had people giggle or...if they are related to me...roll their eyes, point their fingers, and outright laugh at me for being a Soul Patroller.

I had someone introduce me to a group of people I had never met as "Our resident Taylor Hicks fan."

I've had more than one friend, when I've told them I like Taylor, look at me incredulously and ask, "Why?"

I had my relatives shun the "Taylor Hicks" CD I bought as a Dirty Santa gift this Christmas...they actually wanted the lava lamp and thermos set OVER the CD. (The nerve.)

And my cousin said, "When I saw your present, I said, 'I'll be sure to not pick that one...it's from Shelley and I'll bet it's a Taylor Hicks CD.'"

Yeah...there have been many occasions when I've felt I was a novelty for liking Taylor...like I was some bizarre baboon sitting inside a glass case, being studied by statisticians and pointed at by the public.

For as much fun as it is to be a fan of Taylor Hicks...America has attached to it a stigma. And that stigma seems to say...being in the Soul Patrol means you must be slightly nutty.

I can't say I like that at all...especially for how self-conscious it makes me at times.

I don't like that when I get ready to go out in public, I hesitate before reaching in my closet for my "Got Soul?" shirt.

I don't like that I turn the radio down a little when I'm jammin' to Taylor and I come to a stop light surrounded by other cars.

I just don't like folks making assumptions about my personality or behavior based on my music choice.

I guess it comes with the territory...but I wish it didn't.

Now, honestly, I don't feel this is Taylor's fault. The guy is charming and created some pretty amazing catch-phrases that are forever embedded in popular culture.

I think, sadly, the Soul-Patrol-Equals-Gooberish equation was fostered by the connection to American Idol...and that will take a long time to wear off. (Though the Taylors, Jennifer Hudsons, and Kelly Clarksons are helping this cause greatly.)

So...'fess up.

Who has found themselves banished to Wackadoo Island by friends, co-workers, family, and strangers?

Who fights the good fight to prove that being in the Soul Patrol doesn't automatically mean you end every sentence with a hand clap and a shout of "Soul Patrol! Wooo!"?

What is the worst pigeon-hole you've been placed in by admitting your Taylor fanship?

And, finally, how do you plan to Escape from Wackadoo Island?

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A Totally Egotistical, Self-Serving Post...Happy Birthday to Me

2007-02-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

Thirty-seven years ago today, the sun began to shine a little brighter and all the birds in the trees learned a new song.

From that day on, many people found they smiled a little more, and the joyous laughter of children warmed the earth with a blanket of happiness and hope.

Yes...that day...that glorious day...was...Shelley's Birthday.

Happy Birthday to Me.

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NOLAgirl, Squeebee, Texan, DD, Monklex, Mini-DD, Quossum, and Shrewspeaks...y'all made me cry.

Thank you so much.

(And the secret iTunes gifter was Bama...thanks, chick!)

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P.S. Y'all make me feel so blessed.

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Chicken & Chocolate...A Monkbot Smorgasbord

2007-02-23T14:53:00.000-06:00

Here it is folks...the official food post.

Come here to swap recipes...share thoughts about food...obsess about chocolate...whatever.

I know, I know...it probably should be Chicken and Waffles. But I'm here to keep it real for my peeps...and we don't give a flying flip about waffles. We're (apparently) about the chocolate here.

So...since Monkbots don't conform to other group idiosyncrasies...it's Chicken and Chocolate time!

Look for a permanent link to this page on the right-hand side of the page.

And, as always, keep it clean.

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"I'm Gonna Kill Jim Halpert"

2007-02-22T21:01:00.000-06:00

Thursday night was probably one of the best nights of television in a long time...for two reasons...

Pam Beasly and Denny Duquet.

I was so proud of Pam for gaining her newfound courage...and acting on it. Very proud of her.

And I have to say, she made me even more proud with how she responded to Roy's rage about her kissing Jim. Her, "It's over" was a true triumph for our little Pammy...oh, oops...we're not supposed to call her that.

As for "Grey's Anatomy," I loved it. I cried from start to end...and Denny's face when he said, "Izzy" melted me into a puddle of weepy kitten tears. I loved him so much and thought the entire episode was brilliant...especially Sandra Oh saying, "Try it again" like she was possessed.

Great television.

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On the AI front...I lied. I watched the show. (Sorry...but I can't help myself.)

All I have to say is...goodbye, Amy, Nicole, Rudy and Paul...I hardly knew ya...and I'm okay with that.

Though I gotta admit...my heart did go out to Amy for having to sing "I Can't Make You Love Me"...especially after asking if she could sing a different song.

Poor girl...life sucks, I know...but she's thin and younger than me...so I really don't feel that sorry for her.

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P.S. Did anyone other than me hear Simon say "I like this guy" about Chris Sligh after he apologized for ribbing Simon too hard on Tuesday?

Nice.

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Idol Makes Too Many Girls Feel Like a Natural Woman

2007-02-21T22:34:00.000-06:00

If I have to hear one more mutilation of an Aretha Franklin song...I'm going to scream.

Attention every current and future contestant on American Idol...DO NOT SING ARETHA. IT IS TIRESOME AND SHOWS A LACK OF IMAGINATION.

Plus...you pretty much stink at it (accept Melinda Doolittle). Seriously, only Aretha should do Aretha.

Okay...on to more important things.

Let it be known on this, 21st Day of February, 2007, I, Shelley Powers, am admitting freely and willingly (and once only) that Double DD was right. (Okay, DD...let us have it.)

The girls are way better than the guys...and will possibly take the crown this year.

Sure I still love Chris Sligh and Blake Lewis (and I have a tiny space in my heart for Nick Pedro for whatever reason...I think it's his pretty eyes)...BUT...the rest of the guys should go home, too.

And...to be fair...for the girls I don't love...I REALLY don't love them...and they need to go on home.

As a matter of fact...why don't we send everyone packing but Chris Sligh, Blake Lewis, Melinda Doolittle, Sabrina Sloan, Gina Glocksen, Stephanie Edwards, and Lakisha Jones.

I think they are all we really need for a serious competition.

But...since I don't have a say in the process (well, except for my measly phone votes)...I guess I'd better give my thoughts on all who performed last night...whether I think they should stick around or not.

Stephanie Edwards - Talented and peppy with a nice voice...but she's going to have to step it up to compete with Lakisha and Melinda.

Amy Krebs - This girl disappointed me. Boring. She'll probably go home.

Leslie Hunt - Awkward and strange. I thought her song choice was terrible and she sang in the back of her throat.

Antonella Barba - Like Aretha, Aerosmith is an act that can't be done any way but the right way...and Barba did it the wrong way. I hate "Don't Want to Close My Eyes," but I hated it even more when Barba sang it. However, my brother, Cooper, made me vote for her...and I had to because I owed him from last year when he voted for Taylor for me. Grrrrrrrrr

Jordin Sparks - Technically she sings great. But as far as being emotive...she has a looooong way to go. I think she's safe for now...but I don't think she'll be around long.

Haley Scarnato - Beautiful with a nice voice...but it won't hold up next to her competition.

Nicole Tranquillo - Horrible. I thought she was seizing on stage. I'm guessing she will go soon...very soon.

Sabrina Sloan - Great...but I hate that she's competing this year because I don't thing she is as good as Lakisha and Melinda. But I really, really, really like this girl.

Alaina Alexander - Honey..."Brass in Pocket" is a stinky song and you're a stinky singer. Put those too things together and you come up with a rancid, putrid mess.

Melinda Doolittle - She's a doll...with a warm and wonderful voice. I didn't mind her doing Aretha...because it was a song I didn't know. I love her vitality and modesty.

Gina Glocksen - I thought she did a great job. But, I think "All By Myself" is way overdone, and I think she was too full of herself when she was being judged.

Lakisha Jones - The girl is amazing. She is the one to beat in this competition. Absolutely wonderful.

Download mp3 of Lakisha's wailin' here.

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UPDATE: EW's review

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The Perfect Taylor Hicks Set list for the Monkbot Convention

2007-02-21T21:48:00.000-06:00

Okay...Double D and Shrew had a great idea...let's put our thinkin' caps on and come up with the perfect set list for Taylor when he hits The Big Easy on March 14.

Keep your list to 16 songs and one encore only.

Be sure to list in your comment if you will be attending the show!

I'll start...

1. Soul Thing
2. Hold on to Your Love
3. Just to Feel That Way
4. Feelin' Alright
5. The Runaround
6. The Fall
7. Georgia
8. Levon
9. Poor Boy (by Ray Lamontage...think Taylor could sing some sweet harp in this)
10. Hell of a Day
11. Ain't No Sunshine
12. Louisiana 1927
13. Heaven Knows
14. Use Me
15. The Right Place
16. Hollywood Nights

Encore: Taylor pulls Shelley on stage and sings "You Can Close Your Eyes" with her while he plays the guitar...no other instruments.

Spotlight fades...curtain closes...

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(I guess it's pretty obvious I like the slow stuff best...ha.)

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Top 12 Guys...Quick and Dirty

2007-02-20T21:28:00.000-06:00

Rudy Cardenas -- Forgettable (okay...so my brother Cooper liked him). But I didn't. He was cheesy and campy. Reminded me of "The Darkness." I predict he may go home.

Brandon Rogers -- Cutie-pie...but very out of tune...or "pitchy" to use Randy's overused term. He could...and probably will...be better. And I think America will keep him around a little while.

~~Sundance Head~~ -- Awful and boring. He was like a lump on the stage...and that weirdo coat and those pointy white shoes made him look like one of those scary Pierrot clowns. He's safe this week...but not for long (unless Vote for the Worst has anything to say about it).

Paul Kim -- Dude, you're not Jack Johnson or Donovan Frankenreiter. Put. Your. Shoes. On. And. Get. Over. Yourself. He oversang. And even when he didn't, he wasn't great. I think he's safe this week...but he won't be around long.

Nick Pedro -- I think he's adorable and his voice is soft and just husky enough to be sexy. BUT...he needs to bring some life to his performances. I want to see him stay a while, but I doubt many people will Vote for Pedro if he doesn't get on the ball.

Chris Richardson -- A doll. Loved him. He has to gain some confidence, but he'll be around a while. Thought for the first time out, it was pretty great.

Blake Lewis -- I love this guy. Absolutely love him...and I think America will, too. He's a contender for the crown and a shoe-in for Top 10.

Sanjaya Malakar -- Aww...such a cutie baby. But I really hated his song choice (some random Stevie Wonder thing). Sanjaya...don't let your sister pick out your songs anymore...please! He's safe this week.

Jarod Cotter -- Looked good but....ZZZZZzzzzzzz. This was the night's more boring performance. He safe for now, but not for long.

Chris Sligh -- Absolutely loved it. He didn't disappoint at all. This was the only time tonight I disagreed with Simon. I think Chris will be around awhile.

AJ Tabaldo -- If I were a bettin' woman...I'd put money on AJ goin' home this week. Truly cheese whiz.

Phil Stacey -- All I could think was...Britney Spears. How unfortunate for Phil that Brit-Brit shaved her head this week. Phil did end the song strong, but his beginnings are all over the map. I don't like this guy. He creeps me out. He might make Top 10, but he won't win.

In all honesty, folks, I really don't care to watch the girls tomorrow. I will...but only for the benefit of Monkbot. I can't think of a single girl who impresses me like Blake Lewis and Chris Sligh.

Oh well...what did y'all think?

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UPDATE: Here is the EW write-up.

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Jim Halpert or Chris Sligh...How Is a Girl to Choose?

2007-02-19T23:47:00.000-06:00

Baby Duck sent me this article from The New York Times last night (thanks, sweetie).

Starting this week, Fox is spreading AI on with a friggin' trowel...with three nights of Idol...Tuesday-Thursday...for the next three weeks.

Please let me make clear something to The Idol Powers That Be...YOU DON'T HAVE A TAYLOR HICKS THIS YEAR, FOLKS! I'm not giving up three nights a week to this inane show...no matter how cute Ryan Seacrest is. I'll tape it or I'll do what all other normal people do...read about it the day after.

I won't be missing "Ugly Betty," "The Office," "Grey's Anatomy," or "Men in Trees" for some bloated results show.

I mean, a girl's gotta have her principles.

Plus...Jim's so hot.

(Thanks for link to vid, Holeigh)

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The Voracious Soul Patrol's Unsatiable Appetite

2007-02-19T17:33:00.000-06:00

If you'll look down the right-hand column of this page, you'll see a little red button called "View Site Stats."

I click this button about twice a day to see how we're doing here at Monkbot.

On an average day, we have about 50 - 70 new hits (folks who have never visited the site before) and about 35 - 40 regulars (folks who have visited at least once).

It's always my goal to raise the latter number...which we have...slowly, but steadily.

But as you can see from the chart I put at the top of this post...there are those rare days where our site visits spike.

And, other than the day I featured my interview with Gray Charles...which made Monkbot history by bringing more than 1,000 total hits to the site in one day...every post I make that mentions Taylor Hicks sees increased numbers.

It definitely helps when Gray puts a link from his site to mine...like he did with his interview and on Sunday, when I featured NOLAgirl's Endymion write-up.

But I can also see by my little site counter that the mere mention of Taylor Hicks brings new folks and more return visitors to the site.

This is to be expected, I guess, but what always amazes me is the frenzy by which it happens. The visits are almost swarm-like. Folks will hear that there is a little tidbit about Taylor and they run to that tidbit...then run back to their favorite site to discuss.

It happens with every new group of pictures of Taylor...Swarm

Every news snippet of Taylor...Swarm

Every new video of Taylor...Swarm

Every new audio post from Taylor at Gray's...Swarm...Fawn...Swarm some more

And during the down times...between pictures and snippets and video and audio posts...there's always some rumblings of how great Taylor is and what he should perform/record and how he looks and the like.

All of it is fun...to a degree...but what puzzles me is how it has managed to maintain the intensity.

Taylor Hicks was crowned the Season 5 American Idol nine months ago in an explosion of fireworks, a shower of confetti, and a simultaneous "WOO!" from the thousands of Soul Patrollers who had phoned, texted, blogged, chatted, analyzed, hoped, strategized, and prayed to get him there.

Not to minimize the magnitude of Taylor's talent and general likability, but how is it now...after all these months...the fervor is still fever pitch? Why are we all still compelled to follow his every move? Download his every song? Watch his every video? Write blogs posts about it all?

Is he really that magnetic?

I mean...basically he's just a soulful Southern boy with a killer harp and some really nice pipes...right?

Since Taylor's coronation, a dozen or more Taylor fan sites have come to life on the Web...Taylor-related posts at Gray Charles have continued to bust at the seams with comments...Taylor's performances have been very well attended...Taylor's guest appearances are anticipated and watched with excitement...multiple copies of Taylor's albums were bought by individual fans (me included)...reviews were written and read and argued...and tons of folks created fan vids at GoFish and YouTube.

Nine months is a long time. And in the pop culture world...it's almost a lifetime.

In an age where fame is more fleeting than an Elizabeth Taylor marriage...how has this guy from Alabama...who, despite his propensity for f-bombs and his less-than-trendy bar blues sound...continued to cause a fandom ruckus?

Sure he's cute...okay, really cute. And yeah, his live performances are totally electrifying. But his songs haven't stopped the world from spinning and he's hit a sour note or two. On more than one occasion he's left one too many buttons undone on his shirt and he's even tripped over his own words in the media. He's far from perfect (who isn't)...so, I don't get how he's maintained the magic.

But I do have a theory.

My theory is that...it isn't solely Taylor's charisma driving the swarm...it's the general demographic make-up of the swarm...that drives the swarm.

Anyone who has paid attention knows that the bulk of Taylor's fans (at least the online bulk) are women, age 30 to 60.

This group is quite a crew...women in the prime of life who are learning or have learned to speak their minds and not apologize for it. Women who love the fact that Taylor is still a young man but looks older and is singing music that spans a broad generational gap...which, can connect someone older with the sense of being a part of something youthful again.

I've been fortunate enough to meet some really great folks in this group...some strong women who have a lot to share and a lot of heart. But putting aside these folks and all the good that comes with a gaggle of women from ages 30 to 60, I have to say that the group that makes up the bulk of Taylor's fan base is a little scary, too.

This group can be pushy and demanding. It can be biting and abrasive. The women in this group have worked long enough to afford pursuing what they want, and they have taken care of themselves long enough to feel entitled to what they want.

And what they want right now is Taylor Hicks.

...

Okay...I have to stop here and say that I've reached the point in my post where I feel I've made my argument...but I'm still confused.

I know these women want Taylor (maybe because he seems attainable in some way, maybe because he simply turns them on, or maybe because the whole "thing" makes them feel youthful or carefree or gives them an escape from reality) but I'm still lost when I try to figure out "why the swarm?"

Why is the hunger so great?

Why is the need to find out more so insatiable?

Why go to 15 concerts when one or two would suffice?

Why spend all the money? Admonish anyone who dares criticize Taylor? Download all the media? Comment on every post at Gray's?

Does it feel good...does it give a sense of conquest...or has it merely become habit?

I've been in this crazy mix since Taylor warbled his first notes on AI. It wasn't too long ago that I was all consumed. Heck...you may have noticed I even started my own blog about all this nonsense.

But, over the last several months, my fervor has died...a lot.

My crush on Taylor is gone. My obsession with seeing all his clips has vanished. I've even...gasp...deleted some of my Taylor media.

I've become sane again...well, as sane as I can be.

Sometimes I even feel like a kind of fraud when I put up posts on Taylor...because I'm so NOT in the know about this or that and I'm way behind on what's happenin' at Gray's.

I think I know now what my co-workers and family were thinking about me when I was caught up in this whirlwind that is Taylor Hicks...because it's what I'm thinking about everyone else still in the swarm.

I'm thinking...Huh? What? Really?

So, tell me, how has this managed to maintain? Is all the fuss just about making a fuss...or is it still about Taylor?

Will...or can...the Soul Patrol ever "get enough"?

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Taylor Hicks Performs at Endymion Ball...a Monkbot Exclusive

2007-02-18T15:33:00.000-06:00

Our dear little NOLAgirl has had a rough year and a half...what with Hurricane Katrina destroying her home and city. So, she richly deserved her special night last night at the Endymion Ball in New Orleans where Taylor Hicks gave a private show as part of the Mardi Gras celebration. And the wonderful girl she is, our NOLA was gracious enough to share her experience with us. Thanks, NOLAgirl.

Taylor at Endymion

A Monkbot Exclusive by NOLAgirl (a.k.a. Katie)

Click here for photos of the event.

It was a chilly 30-minute wait to get into the Dome for the Extravaganza (my mom told me to bring a wrap but I thought I'd be fine. Duh.). Wind was blowing, excitement growing. It was about 6:30. BRING IT ON. Got into the warmth of the Dome and trekked our way to table DD 29 (coincidence? I think not!). We had a GREAT table (thanks Mr. Keith!) and the first 2 pics show the stage from our table. (The Taylor pics are from closer up, we just walked right up to the barricade) Pretty cool set, huh? No AI tin foil high school prom crap. Nice. Local band The Cheeze Weez entertained us until the parade arrived around 8-8:30ish.

As his float was entering the Dome the announcer gave a little background on Taylor, mentioning that he was a Southern boy and then stupidly saying he also attended Auburn University, to which the boos rang loud and clear (including my own AND the friends in our group that went to Alabama). Taylor was still chucking beads and cups like a champ but you could tell he had to be pooped. I am sad to report that I did NOT catch anything from him on his grand marshal float. However, my friend Meaghan said she DID she him say "Katie, I love you!" So I felt better, naturally. I didn't get a pic of him on the float, but you've seen some cute ones already here at Monkbot.

Covered in beads, we moseyed back by our table to unload (the woman next to me by the parade route got clocked in the face with beads and had to put an ice pack on her eye - ouch.) and get ready for Al Green. He made it do what it do and toward the end of his set Meaghan and I (the blonde in the pics) headed to get in position for Taylor. She didn't know much about him, but I think she was somewhat impressed, or at least enjoyed it. (I talked to her today and she went online to search for Taylor to find out more about him and his music, so that says something!) They had the stage divided into two sides so that the musical acts could transition without having to wait for the crew to change out all the equipment and stuff. So as Al Green was finishing out, I saw Brian, Jeff, Zippy, Sam and Mitch come onto the darkened side of the stage and get into position. I told Meaghan that Taylor was coming soon because that was his band and she was impressed with my skillz and "inside info." Word.

So then the fun REALLY began! He came out ready to rock and started with "Call Me the Breeze." He then did "Hey Pocky Way" with some tagging ("When the Saints Go Marching In" and that "Hey, the Mardi Gras" callback thing to the audience we've heard him do before). He did two originals, which he announced as such, "Soul Thing" and "Hell of a Day," and then did "Gonna Move." They were all great and I was so feeling it (and no, it wasn't just the gin and tonic). The up-close crowd seemed to be, too. His circles dance and harp seemed to get the most response, naturally. He then closed it out with "Dance to the Music" (fun!) tagged with a little "Higher." He of course gave props to all the LMBO guys like usual. Didn't talk much, just the usual "How y'all doin', New Orleans!!!!" and "Happy Mardi Gras everybody!!"' sort of thing. It was short (less than an hour) but SO sweet!

The woman next to me during the performance turned to me after it was done and said "Aww, he didn't sing that song!" and I said "What song?" "That 'make you proud' song," she said. "Ohhh," I said. "Yeah, I don't think that's one of his favorites. You know, not really his style." (trying to be "PC" with this stranger). "Well I like it!" she said, "And he did make me proud!" So one woman was a little disappointed in not hearing DIMYP ... but this woman had no complaints, all around! (except that Taylor didn't call me up on stage to dance with him, as my office mates had predicted Friday - those nutcases).

(In other news, Styx was pretty damn good. "Come Sail Away" was by far the most fun of their set. It sounded like the whole Dome was singing along! Journey ... meh. We left before they were done, as it was already nearing 3:00 a.m.)

I have to say my friend Melissa's parents (her dad rides) were so sweet to me in particular, as they knew I was a big Taylor fan. They made sure we got a good spot and seemed to enjoy us enjoying him (and the whole ball, to tell you the truth!) Her dad came up to me at one point in the night and showed me some pics on his camera from the Friday night more casual dinner that Endymion has. He got some good ones of Taylor. He said Taylor was so gracious and signed autographs and took pictures with anyone who wanted them for two hours. Mr. Keith seemed impressed by him, so that was neat.

Shell, that's all I can think of now! Sorry it's not that creative, but it's the facts baby!

---

NOLAgirl...no apologies, babe. That RAWKED! :)

Laissez les bon temps roullez, baby! Yeah!

---

Just to avoid confusion that Mardi Gras is all revelry and no pain...here's proof of the dangers inherent in having plastic beads hurled at you...our own Double D got this contusion at the parades in Mobile.

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Laissez le Bon Temps Roullez....with Taylor Hicks

2007-02-18T09:44:00.000-06:00

From Double D, "All of my favorite worlds collide.

Check out how dirty his hands are....from the beads. I know they say "Throw 'til it hurts", but after 3 and half hours of throwing cups and beads, his right side's gonna be paralyzed for a week."

Thanks for the pictures, DD.

A Quick Weekend Hello

2007-02-18T00:02:00.000-06:00

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Steaming Hot Mug of Shut Up

2007-02-16T21:40:00.000-06:00

So I got my GrayCharles.com mug in the mail today...mmm, there's nothing like cozying up with a little Gray...Earl Gray...what'd ya think?!

---

A Post to Discuss Thursday Night on the Boob Tube

2007-02-15T21:21:00.000-06:00

I actually cried when Michael showed up at Pam's art show and wanted to buy her painting of Dunder Mifflin. And I ached for her when Oscar and his partner showed up and trashed her work....that was pretty tacky.

But I didn't know what was worse...having Roy try too hard to like her "art" or not having Jim even show his face. Brutal night for Pam.

However, the scenes with the bat...priceless. Especially Angela wearing that plastic rain babooshka and having Jim act like he was turning into a vampire.

Hilarious.

---

On Grey's...I cried pretty much the whole way through.

I thought it was a great episode. The writers are really bringing Karev out as a layered character. (DD...don't pull a muscle springing to the keyboard to type "I told you so.") And I really felt Addison was talking about me when she said how sad it was to be alone and wondered if anyone would notice if she went missing. Karev really took her breath away telling her he would miss her.

WHERE'S MY KAREV, WORLD?!

shakes fist violently in the air

As for Meredith...seriously?

Are we to believe the character the entire show is named for is going to DIE?

Pfftthhhh

However, I will say, I think we're in for some pretty comical opening scenes next week as she whines to her "angels."

Speaking of those angels...I'm guessing Meredith is in Heaven because...Kyle Chandler AND Jeffery Dean Morgan? Geesh...some girls have all the luck.

I guarantee if it was me waking up to the Great Beyond, my angels wouldn't have sexy stubble or twinkly eyes...they would probably look Lon Chaney and Ernest Borgnine.

shakes fist violently in the air...again

I will say this about the show though...I know Meredith was walking toward the light, so they let Izzie do the closing narration while everyone wrung their hands about poor Mer.

But am I the only who found Iz's little soliloquy weird and ill-timed? I mean, one of her bestest buddies is dying and she's going on about eating a tub of butter and the calories not counting and telling George he shouldn't have married Callie (of whom this week we only saw her eyes...she must be working a major outbreak of fever blisters to be hiding behind that O.R. mask in her one and only scene this week).

I honestly thought the writers could have done a better job with the ending. We viewers at least deserved that for enduring a three-part episode!

shakes fist violently at writers

---

A Long, Cold, Bitter Post

2007-02-15T12:42:00.000-06:00

If you have a man...and he's decent and good and loyal and loving...

I don't want to hear how awful he is when he DOESN'T do something.

I don't want to know you wanted flowers for Valentine's Day instead of just a card.

I don't want to hear that he leaves the toilet seat up or that he burps his fish.

I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It.

I don't.

When women complain about their husbands or boyfriends I want to scream until my throat bleeds...okay...maybe until their ears bleed.

I want to tell them THEY picked this man to spend their life with. It's not my problem they picked wrong. So, keep their mouths shut.

I've been alone for 10 years. TEN YEARS!

I haven't so much as been asked out on a date or stolen a kiss or held a hand or had a hug...in 10 years.

I want more than anything to have a loving, Christian man to share my life with.

I wake every day and think about how it seems it will never happen for me.

I think of how I am almost 37 years old and probably won't ever have children and how my predicament screams "SPINSTER!" so loudly I could wear a T-shirt with the word emblazoned across my chest and no one would bat an eye.

I think of how I'm going to take care of myself when I'm elderly and alone.

I think of always having to do my own taxes, take out my own garbage, mow my own lawn.

I think of how nice it would be to have someone to take care of...someone to exist with.

I think of needing someone to want me.

And then I hear that someone is mad because they didn't get any damn tulips?

Give me a break.

People are so selfish.

Honestly, I feel when women do that...complain about a spouse or significant other...it's the epitome of smearing the crap that is my love life in my face. I feel they "fuss" about their man because "it's cute." Like they have a man...so they should act like they don't care and that they are bothered by it. Such behavior absolutely makes my blood boil.

If you are reading this and you have a DH (a term that when I read it pierces my heart with jealousy and longing)...promise me that you won't complain about him to someone who DOESN'T have a DH.

I know people fight at times (my parents have been together for nearly 40 years...trust me...I've seen fights)...and I know that folks get on each others' nerves.

But for the love of all that's good and right in the world...be thankful for those fights and all that having a special someone in your life includes.

Be thankful for love.

Be thankful for companionship.

Be thankful even for the old, dirty socks laying on the comforter.

Be thankful that you have those things...because if you didn't...you might find yourself, one cold February day, watching a pair of hands which seem too old to be your own, fervently type a long, bitter diatribe into a blog post.

---

Oh No, He Didn't!

2007-02-14T21:38:00.000-06:00

After making it into the Top 24 (despite mistaking yelling for singing)...Sundance Head...very ungraciously...told Thomas Daniels, his losing opponent, "If I do make it big, dude, I'll make you my bodyguard. You're pretty big."

Um...me no likey Sundancey. Me wanty him to go home.

I refuse to focus anymore effot on ~~Sundance~~ (from here on out...I plan to write his name this way) when there are 23 other hopefuls now in the Top 24.

What did y'all think of everyone selected?

I was happy with all the guys...and I gleaned a new appreciation for a couple of the girls (though I thought the girl who went head to head with Antonella in the room with the judges deserved to stay...she was very Susan Tedeschi-ish).

Here's the breakdown (don't kill me for messing up the spelling of some of the names)...I've marked my favs *.

Boys
~~Sundance Head~~
Phil Stacey
Jarod Cotter
Chris Richardson **
Nick Pedro *
Brandon Rogers
Rudy Cardenas *
AJ Tabaldo
Paul Kim
Chris Sligh ***
Blake Lewis **
Sanjaya Malakar *

Girls
Antonella Barba
Haley Scarnato
Lakisha Jones ***
Jordin Sparks
Stephanie Edwards
Melinda Doolittle **
Alaina Alexander
Gina Glocksen
Amy Krebs **
Leslie Hunt
Sabrina Sloan *
Nicole Tranquillo

Alright...let's hear what y'all have to say.

Here's the contestant page on AI site.

And for those interested...here is the write-up from Entertainment Weekly.

This quote from EW's Michael Slezak cracked me up...

"Let's make this quick. Antonella Barba, you forgot the words on your final rendition of ''Until You Come Back to Me,'' and you hang with skanks."

And Slezak sums up my feelings on Tami and Sean perfectly...

"And finally, in the most genuine, unironic way possible, I'd like to dedicate tonight's column to Tami Gosnell, Ebony Jointer, Jenry Bejarano, Rachel Zevita, and Sean Michel, five folks whose voices captured our hearts during the audition rounds but who, inexplicably, never got the chance to sing on air again. I bet the semifinals would've been a lot more interesting (and competitive) had you made it, but lest you lose hope, there's always season 7."

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How Deep Is Your Love...for Chris and Beat Box Guy?

2007-02-14T13:43:00.001-06:00

Mine's pretty dang deep.

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Was Taylor a Diva on AI...and if so, Who Cares?

2007-02-14T07:10:00.000-06:00

A little gossip tidbit from MSNBC says Taylor Hicks was the biggest diva on Season 5 of the show.

First of all...any source that doesn't give their name sorely looses credibility points in my book.

Second of all...who really gives a rip? That was LAST YEAR. He'll give up his crown in a couple of months. Seriously, why bother?

Okay...so I'm going all "grassy knoll" on y'all...but does anyone else smell sabotage? And if so...why? What would be the purpose? Or is all of this the result of some needy lacky behind the scenes at AI who is on a little power trip for getting a chance to be quoted in a "news" story?

Lastly...let's say Taylor is a diva. Does anyone care? Not in the sense that Taylor is so great that his underwear never needs washing...but in the sense that everyone in show business is likey to be somewhat of a diva (let's face it...you got to have a pretty healthy ~~libido~~ ego* to push yourself into any spotlight)...so why should we care about this guy from Alabama following suit?

*thanks to dr. bob for pointing out my libido/ego typo. though i'm sure taylor has a pretty healthy libido, too. bwahahahaha

---

Happy Stinkin' Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T00:00:00.000-06:00

I hate this day.

I hate hearts.

I hate lovey dovey poems.

I hate cupids.

I hate boxes of chocolate.

Well...okay...so I don't hate boxes of chocolate.

But I do hate heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.

---

Last night on AI...we said good-bye to our little Sean Michel. I have to say, I was sad.

However...I was very, very, very pleased with Chris Sligh and Beat Box Guy's group performance. It rawked.

And how much do I love the little brother who cried for his sister? So sweet (but not sweet enough for me to look up how to spell his name. Boy, am I lazy.)

Great show...brutal cuts...can't wait to see Top 24. Will anyone outdo Taylor Hicks' Top 24 Walk Harp Solo? How DO you outdo that? Make the Top 24 Walk playing the piano?

UPDATE: Great write-up by "Entertainment Weekly's" Michael Slezak. I agree with absolutely everything he said...especially about Sundance (whom, I think, is overrated).

---

Oh...and from the category of "Ideas Beyond the Realm of Simply Bad."

Um...seriously?

---

Here's y'all's official Valentine's gift...

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Congratulations, KD...Welcome, Baby!

2007-02-13T17:41:00.000-06:00

Our sweet KD gave birth yesterday, Feb. 12, at 2:41 p.m. to a 8-pound, .5-ounce, 21-inch baby boy.

Congratulations, KD!

We love you!

---

"The Guy to Watch is Ben Powers"

2007-02-13T10:22:00.000-06:00

My brother, Ben, as many of you know, is a graphic designer in Memphis.

Well...what you may not know is that he designed some promotional materials for this year's Grammys. (See his work at left.)

And because he is so friggin' awesome...the Memphis Commercial Appeal has done an article on him and his co-worker.

Just thought I'd brag...er...share.

is very proud

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Liquid Plumber Power Jet...I'll Be Your Next Spokeswoman

2007-02-12T18:23:00.000-06:00

OH. MY. GOSH.

This stuff is amazing.

I don't mean to go all commercial on y'all, but I honestly and truly thought sharing my thoughts on this product would be of help to someone.

My bathroom sink has drained slowly for four years (since I bought the house). Periodically, I have had the pleasure of removing the stopper and cleaning out wads of goo and hair (yum).

It's disgusting.

Well, my sink recently has been draining slower than usual. I removed the stopper and cleaned it out...and it was still slow.

I bought some Liquid Plumber Foaming Pipe Snake (4 bottles)...and it was still slow.

As a last resort to having to call a plumber...I bought a can of the Liquid Plumber Power Jet.

The can says..."blasts clogs away in three seconds."

It was absolutely true. (You can watch a demo here.)

My little sink is draining better than it has in four years.

It's rare that a product lives up to its claims...so, when it does...I want to let folks know.

If anyone ever has a stubborn clog in a sink or tub (it's not to be used on toilets)...go buy some of this stuff. It's fantastic.

Not only did it unclog my sink...it saved me from having to spend money on a real plumber...and from having to witness the unsitely vision of "plumber's butt."

---

The Police, Christina, Corinne, and John x 2

2007-02-11T23:17:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone got a chance to watch the Grammys last night...for three reasons:

The reuniting of The Police. They were great...in look and sound. I really could have listened to more.
The James Brown tribute by Christina Aguilera singing "This is a Man's World." Oh. My. Gosh. The girl blew it out. Fantastic.
The trio that was Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend, and John Mayer. Truly, television doesn't get better than moments like this. ~~(If anyone finds the clip, e-mail me so I can post it...it wasn't up when I went to bed last night.)~~ See top of post for clip.

Not that my opinion means much...but...I have to say, I think John Mayer is one of the most talented recording artists out there right now. He is truly fantastic.

Like a Star - Corinne Bailey Rae

Where Did My Baby Go - John Legend

Slow Dancin' in a Burning Room - John Mayer

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Write Your Own Caption

2007-02-11T17:37:00.000-06:00

Here's a pic of Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee arriving at Clive Davis' Pre-Grammy Party on Feb. 10.

I thought it would be a fun one for everyone to try and write a caption for it.

However...

Don't be mean.
Snarking is fine...but don't deliberately trash Miss McPhee. (I know it's a fine line...but I trust my Monkbots to walk it safely.)

Here are a few of my own...

Direct Taylor Quotes
"I said I wanted a blonde!"

"Is it hot in here...or do I have a touch of McPheever?"

"Waaaa! I liked the yellow cleavage dress better."

Cutline Form
At Clive Davis' Pre-Grammy shindig...Taylor Hicks errupted into a spontaneous version of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard.

Katharine McPhee Thought Bubble
"Grandpa?"

Okay...now y'all try...

If you want to see other pics of Taylor arriving at this event...click here.

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UPDATE: Wow...just 6 comments in and someone became a mean little person who posted ugly things anonymously and ruined the fun for everyone else. The offensive comments have been deleted and commenting for this post will stay off.

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Igor the Scottish Monkey

2007-02-11T09:28:00.000-06:00

Last week I received the most wonderful care package...it contained...

Tomato Ketchup Crisps
Brown Sauce
Shortbreads
Tartan Beanies
A Crown
Beautiful Postcards

and

A Monkey

The package was from our dear little Rowan...who obviously has a healthy sense of the ridiculous (all the reason to love her more and more).

I cracked up as I opened the box and started fishing out the contents.

I immediately dove into the shortbreads (Walkers) and now...a week later...am sad to say...they are entirely GONE! So delicious! I loved them.

The potato crisps were a bit of a leap for me. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to potato chips...maybe add BBQ flavor...but mostly...I prefer them plain.

I took a deep breath and dove in.

They tasted like French fries with the ketchup built in! I finished off the grab bag with a smile. Can't wait to share these with my folks.

I don't know what quite to use the brown sauce for...Rowan...help me out.

The beanies are hilarious. They come fully equipped with a pom-pom atop and a shock of red hair at the bottom. Hilarious.

The postcards are from Dundee and the River Tay. And they have the sweetest messages.

The crown fits perfectly on Igor the Monkey's head.

And speaking of Igor...

He's a chatterbox, with the prettiest green eyes. And he certainly will keep me company while Traveling Monkbot is out and about. I have to say, though, Sadie didn't really love him as much as I do. Ha.

Here's a clip so everyone can enjoy Igor.

Rowan, thank you so much for my care package. It was truly delightful. Oh, and thanks for sending two of the crisps, sauce, and hats so I can pass them on to Bama. I know she'll love them all!

---

How to Fix an Oven with Vice Grips, a Cell Phone, and Perseverance

2007-02-10T16:12:00.000-06:00

Thanks, Dad, for all your help!

---

A Post for Hickschick4soul

2007-02-09T20:06:00.000-06:00

Here's a little get well gift for you, sweetie. Feel better soon.

I'm trying out a little freebie pop-up audio player....excuse the lack of sophistication.

Click to Play Messsage for Hickschick4soul

---

Pavlovian Conditioning and Meredith's Long Walk off a Short Pier

2007-02-08T22:07:00.000-06:00

I loved the opening segment of "The Office" with Jim conditioning Dwight to want an Altoid when the computer beeps. Classic.

What I didn't love was the rest of the show. It was pretty lame...except for Kelly's special circumstance for wearing white to Phyllis' wedding..."'cause I look good in white."

The whole thing with Jim and Pam was pathetic. I would have settled for the longing glances rather than the miscommunication and contrived emotional mire we were left with.

And...as much as I love Michael...his schtick got really old and really unbelievable.

Not the best episode.

---

On the other hand...we had "Grey's Anatomy." Other than the Christina/Burke tension (can't they give it a rest for at least ONE episode), the show was phenomenal.

I loved that Karev is getting such a heart. His score on the Shelley Sexy-o-meter is about a 7 out of 10...it had been about a 3 out of 10. Keep it up Karev.

Callie...totally back to irritating the ever-lovin' crap out of me.

Why couldn't Callie get knocked off the pier instead of Meredith?

---

Um...yeah...I know I said I was going to "reclaim my life" and tape Thursday night T.V.

I couldn't do it. I HAD to watch.

I did cut out Sunday nights, totally...and "Studio 60," totally.

I guess I'm gonna have to take baby steps.

So sue me.

---

Lip-Ring Girl...Tami Gosnell

2007-02-08T16:23:00.000-06:00

I'm smelling the pungent aroma of competition, folks.

Love this girl.

Here's her website.

UPDATE: After listening to her songs...I'm a little mixed. Maybe I just don't like her songs...but her voice gets a little grating at times...and her lyrics are little predictable and her performance a little stilted.

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I'm Coming off a High from One of Those Infamous American Idol Montages, but...

2007-02-07T21:00:00.000-06:00

I have to admit...American Idol truly is a celebration of life...the beautiful...the pitiful...and the amazingly talented hidden treasures lurking behind faces in the crowd.

I really liked lip-ring girl...and the woman who sang "Think."

Discuss Wednesday night AI here.

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Discussion of Idol Tuesday

2007-02-06T21:06:00.000-06:00

I liked the cousin guy who wore the baby blue ball cap and sang an awful rendition of "Amazing Grace," graciously accepted the judges' "no," and then played to the camera upon leaving the room by yelling at the judges.

Hilarious...but not as hilarious as the picture of Randy at right.

I also loved the cutie-pie girl who the judges turned down then brought back...she's by far the strongest female contender.

And I loved the last guy, who sang "Cupid."

But again...the show overall was pretty boring.

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"This Land Is Your Land. This Land Is My Land. So, Stay on Your Land."*

2007-02-05T18:29:00.000-06:00

*Quote from Maxine, Hallmark spokeswoman

Okay...okay...so I said I wouldn't be posting every day, but this won't be much of a post.

I just HAD to climb onto my soapbox for a minute and mention one of my all-time-hands-down-most-irritating pet peeves.

Cars parked outside of designated parking spaces.

I'm not talking about parallel parking...a poor job at parallel parking is at least forgivable.

I'm talking...pull-your-car-between-two-yellow-lines parking.

Check out the picture above. I witnessed first-hand the awesomeness that was this parking job.

Then, when the driver and passenger emerged from the car and I saw that their mean age was no less than 75...I got really steamed.

Now...I'll save my rant about elderly drivers for another day. (But trust me...it's a doozy.)

The reason I'll save it is because I know that failure to park properly is NOT confined to the elder set.

It's an across-age, across-gender, across-culture, and across-race problem.

Seriously...if you are either too lazy or too nonchalant or too stupid or too inept to park your car properly between those lines...TAKE THE BUS FROM NOW ON.

Not to mention those folks who drive SUVs that can't even FIT into a parking space.

Taking more than your fair share of a parking lot is rude and inconsiderate...not to mention nervy.

I swear, the more I think about it...the more irate I get.

Years ago, I saw a flier stuck under the windshield wiper of a car that was WAY over its allotted parking area. The flier featured a picture of Mickey Mouse flipping the bird and telling the recipient of the flier a thing or two. It absolutely cracked me up.

Not that I advocate leaving such a vulgar note...but just the idea of it made me feel better.

(For those curious...you can Google it and find it pretty easily...but I'm not posting it here because the language is pretty vile.)

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel quite better now.

Climbs down from soapbox.

---

P.S. Check back in later this week, as I got a wonderful package in the mail today and I'll be sharing all about it!

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Moving Toward Simplicity

2007-02-04T12:09:00.000-06:00

I've written a lot of words in the last year.

And I've read about ten times more than I've written.

I've clicked probably a million links...watched hundreds of videos...listened to thousands of audio clips.

I've spent countless hours online and in front of my television.

I've daydreamed about Taylor Hicks for the better part of each waking day.

I've planned and gossiped and quipped and chatted and talked and griped and theorized and strategized.

And now I'm ready for a change.

Other than "American Idol" nights, I don't want to sit in front of my t.v. anymore. I'll download "Heroes," "Ugly Betty," "The Office," and "Grey's Anatomy" and watch them in one sitting...either Friday afternoon or sometime over the weekend. I no longer plan to devote any of my time to "Desperate Housewives," "Brothers & Sisters," "Studio 60," and "Men in Trees."

I must reclaim my life.

As for Monkbot...I'll still do it...but not every day.

I'm sure it's hard to believe, but this little site has nearly consumed me. From checking on it before I even pee in the mornings to monitoring it while at work to hitting my front door after work and coming straight to the computer to write/comment for the few hours between eating, t.v., and bed, my life has become this gray spiral of work, Monkbot, t.v., bed, work, Monkbot, t.v., bed, work, Monkbot, t.v., bed...

I honestly think I'm going to crack up if I don't give it a rest.

Plus...I've been really disheartened with my writing as of late here at the site because...well...I'm tapped out. Posting only a few times a week will take away the drudgery and allow me to LIVE my life so that I can actually write about something interesting.

I've felt this way for a while, but I didn't want to write this post for fear of losing my readership.

I've finally reconciled with myself about that.

I figure...even if I write less often, folks might be willing to return if I offer richer thoughts or more humorous musings. After all...Dave White only writes once a week and folks chomp at the bit to read him...right? (Not that I'm remotely as talented and funny as Mr. White...but, you get the point.)

And if folks don't come back...well...I'll live. I have other things in my life that desperately need my attention and I've put them off too long.

What I need to be working on is my own writing...my fiction. I've used Monkbot as an excuse to put it off...and that's pretty lame.

I also need to get my home in order...dust on occasion...hit the toilet with the scrub brush every now and then...manicure the yard every blue moon...and pet my dog WAY more than I do.

I sincerely hope y'all will understand.

Thank you...

---

Now THIS is a Spiritual

2007-02-03T12:38:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the link, Shrew...fantastic.

And for the record, Oprah...this Southern white girl wouldn't have been like "Huh, what?"...she would have been like..."Praise the Lord!"

---

From the "Let It Go, Enough Already" File

2007-02-03T12:10:00.000-06:00

What's

the

point?

Comment to Your Heart's Content

2007-02-02T06:35:00.000-06:00

Wooo!

Comments have been fixed...kind of.

I know y'all are used to the pop-up window comment box...but Blogger is experiencing some kind of "comment bug" right now and the antidote is putting a "2" after the "www" in the comment address bar...something that can't be done with the pop-up window.

If all that sounds confusing...ignore it and just...

DANCE WITH JOY!

---

By the way...I have a couple of issues with last night's Grey's.

First...what on EARTH did Chief Webber EVER see in Meredith's mom? She's the meanest, most twisted person I've ever seen. I don't get it...at all. I think he really did make the best decision by staying with Adelle.

Second...does anyone else have a problem with Izzy giving away all her $8 million for that clinic...especially to Bailey? I can't believe Bailey accepted it after she had told Izzy that she needed to deposit the money and NOT use it to get personally involved with patients.

But Izzy said she would ALWAYS get personally involved...and then she walked out on the first and only patient the clinic saw.

Weird.

Plus...did it really take ALL $8 million for that little clinic? And what was with it being built in 8 days? How convenient....pffthhh. If they were going to "Extreme Makeover Home Edition" the whole process...they could have at LEAST given us a little Ty or Pauly (I have more than a little crush on Paul Dimeo...too bad he's married).

I also HATED how "Callie O'Malley" (giggle) was back to irritating the ever-lovin' crud out of me. I was just starting to like her...then she WALKS AWAY FROM HER NEW HUSBAND WHO HAS BEEN POISONED BY TOXIC BLOOD?!?!?!?!

I wanted to drop-kick her in the face.

Stomps foot in irritation of cheap shots Grey's writers took with this episode

(I did love how Christina accepted Burke's proposal...and I loved how yummy Karev was looking last night.)

---

And I can't put this post up with the mention of one, tremendous event in all our lives...

Dwight Schrute in a bra.

Life is a good.

---

P.S. Do you use Tide detergent?

---

Sorry about the Comment Problem, Folks

2007-02-01T17:55:00.000-06:00

I have NO idea what the problem is with the comments...but I do know it's not just with Monkbot.

Quite a few folks have posted complaints and alerts to Blogger's Help Message Board about this situation (which has now gone on for about 24 hours).

I ask that y'all please remain patient and keep checking back!

And for you diehards...don't forget about Monkbot Chat (click the Monkbot)...it's still working.

Thanks and...Viva le Monkbot!

o--{:8)}=

---

UPDATE: Just got this message in the help forum from Blogger...

"Hi all,

Sorry for the recent difficulties with commenting and thank you for
reporting these problems. We're aware of the problem and actively
investigating the cause. I'll let you know when I've got more
information.

Thanks for being patient!
Jordan"

---

Just to keep y'all posted.

I Have a New Respect for DJs

2007-02-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

A friend in advertising asked me if I would sing and do dialog for a 30-second radio spot to advertise a local high-end shopping center.

I agreed...thinking it would be fun.

I went to the studio yesterday morning and did my thing...and, yes, it was fun.

However...it made me realize something very important.

I. Can't. Act.

Here's my radio acting debut.

---

About AI...other than the one guy who said he had always sung background vocals...I thought everyone else was totally forgettable.

Oh...except for the old guy who sung for his late wife.

I cried like a baby.

Very. Sweet.

---

Two Words...Chris Sligh

2007-01-31T00:00:00.000-06:00

Chris Sligh is from South Carolina...has hair like Justin Guarini...has a sense of humor like John Mayer...and sings like a mellow rocker (loved the audition but not too crazy about the song on his MySpace page).

Seems he's also a Christian...like our little Sean Michel.

Watch out for this guy...he's smart and talented...with personality out the wazoo.

I like him...he's my new favorite.

(I know, I know...I'm fickle...but, honestly, this guy is SO likeable.)

---

On another music note (pun intended)...The Police will reunite for this year's Grammy Awards.

I know I should be excited...but I'm not.

What's wrong with me?

---

Also...I don't want this to become a glitter-bashing post...but there is something a little off about a glitter banner for Sean Michel. I just can't put my finger on why.

Don't get me wrong...it's great that folks like him and they did a lovely job with their banners...it just is strange to me for some reason. (Also, I'm a little uncomfortable with the "Sean's Disciples" thing. As far as I know, there is only one Man to be a disciple of...and, though He looks like Sean...He's much older.)

Again...NO bashing of anyone's banner. But help me to understand why this seems odd to me.

Also...tell me what a "Camel Shiner" is? She asks nervously, hoping it's not dirty.

---

Happy Anniversary, Gray

2007-01-30T13:14:00.000-06:00

For enduring a year of glitters and crazies, Monkbots and young snots, know-it-alls and pains in the butt...I hereby award Gray Charles, blogger extraordinaire, the

Monkbot Medal of Honor

Here's to another year...if you can stand us.

We love you, Uncle Monkbot.

---

One Small Step...

2007-01-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

After reading yesterday's comments...I thought maybe we should take things a little slower in our effort to change our wanton ways.

Instead of trying to tackle all our impediments, I think we should should each take on one new challenge each week...and work on just that.

I'll go first...

This week, I'll not eat between meals more than two healthy snacks a day.

---

P.S. I got groceries yesterday...so I'm back to eating only stuff I cook.

---

P.P.S. Happy 26th birthday to my brother, Ben!

---

A Weekend of Decadence...Confessional Post

2007-01-29T00:00:00.000-06:00

When I fall off the wagon...I dive headfirst and with gusto.

I knew Friday that I needed to get groceries...especially since I'm trying to eat healthy now. However, getting home from work a little early, I thought I had the whole weekend ahead of me...so...why rush things?

Instead of going to the store, I ate a Healty Choice and had some crackers and hummus. But I was DYING for some sugar...so I loaded Sadie in the car and drove to get some Krispy Kreme donuts and hot chocolate.

Like I said...go for the friggin' gusto, baby.

Saturday morning, I had to meet my friend Kathy Sue for breakfast to give her the disk of photos I took at her engagement party last weekend. I also wrote up a brief article for a few Jackson society papers to accompany the photos. K.S. wanted to meet at the Waffle House...and who was I to turn it down...especially since it was her treat?

Grits and cheese eggs never tasted so good.

We ended up leaving my car at the Waffle House and driving around the Jackson Metro area for a couple of hours in her car, looking at the sheesheelala homes.

We found one subdivision that looked like the set of a movie (The Town of Lost Rabbit) with an open house and so we just HAD to see what was so special about a $750,000 home. Other than the fact that the built-in entertainment center was built to ONLY accommodate a plasma television and every room had its own fireplace...I didn't think it was anything great (yes...those are sour grapes you're reading).

Kathy Sue also took me by the new house she and her fiance are buying for after the wedding. It was lovely...even without a plasma screen and multi-room fireplaces.

By the time she drove me back to the W.H. to pick up my car, it was beginning to rain pretty steady. I decided that I didn't want to get groceries in the rain, so I went by the house and picked up Sadie...then we drove out to a little church I wanted to visit on Sunday to see if they had times listed on the marquee (there was no information online and all I got when I called was an answering machine). UPDATE: They do have a website...I just, for whatever reason, couldn't find it using Google...duh.

We drove to the church, got the times, and, on the way back home, stopped to pick up some Chinese food for lunch.

I got home and downloaded "Sky High" from iTunes and ate my food. Believe it or not, the movie was pretty good. Cheesy...but fun.

I pretty much chilled the rest of the afternoon on the computer and playing with Sadie and talking on the phone...all under the guise of waiting for the rain to let up.

When it did, it was dark...and I couldn't get groceries in the dark.

So I took Sadie to the Taco Bell drive-through and got dinner.

I got back and tried to download "The Insider" to watch...but it was taking forever to download...so, after eating and playing some Sudoku...I went to bed...at 9 p.m.

Because I had gone to bed so early...I woke up at 6:50 a.m. Since church wasn't starting until 10:30 a.m....I decided to see if "The Insider" had downloaded overnight...it had...I watched it...then I went to church.

Service was nice...I'm not sure if this new church is the right one for me...but I'll give it another Sunday before moving on.

On the way home from church...I picked up Steak Out...took it home and downloaded "Soapdish" and watched it.

As you can tell...I've quickly waded through the good stuff at iTunes and am now stuck downloading crappy stuff. Steve Jobs...if you're reading this...please put some better movies on your little store. Thank you.

After "Soapdish" was over...I still didn't want to go to the store. So, I did the only other thing I could do...being bored out of my mind and totally shiftless.

I took a nap.

When I woke up, I realized it was 4 p.m. and I had piddlefarted the whole weekend. I now HAD to get groceries...and drop off my blood pressure medication prescription at Walgreens.

But first I had to empty all my garbages and work on the neighborhood newsletter I volunteered to do.

After all that was done...and I had no more excuses, finally, I made a grocery list.

It was getting late, but I still managed to drop off my prescription and make it to Krogers before dark.

I parked the car and walked into the store. I pulled my list from my pocket and reached into my purse to get my pen out of my wallet.

But I stopped when I realized...I couldn't find my wallet.

I stopped and began fumbling deeper in my bag...where was it?

I started to panic, as I turned to leave the store.

I went to the car...it wasn't there.

I called Steak Out to see if I had left it there...they couldn't find it.

"It'll be okay, Miss," said Sean, the manager of Steak Out. "I'll call all my workers who were on duty earlier. If it's here...we'll find it."

"Thank you," I said with a mix of hope and fear. It had been hours since I had last seen it.

As I drove to the house, I began to mentally kick myself.

If you had gotten gas earlier instead of putting it off, you would have noticed it was missing.

Why did you have to take a nap instead of going to get groceries, stupid girl?

This is all your fault for putting off what you should have done.

Idiot, Shelley!

I almost hit my garbage cans as I pulled into my carport. I couldn't open the door fast enough.

I walked in and panned the dining room table.

And there...sitting by a stack of photos and abulms I should have put together weeks ago...was my wallet.

I said a prayer of thanks and then called Sean. "I found it. Thanks."

He was very nice about the whole thing.

By this time, it was after 7 p.m. I didn't have enough gas to make the trip to Kroger and back (I had also procrastinated getting gas...rationing what was left for one trip to Kroger and then the drive in to work tomorrow).

But I still needed dinner...as my cupboards were bare.

So, I loaded Sadie up and went to fill my gas tank and get a Sonic burger.

But...just so y'all know...my grocery list is in my purse...and I WILL get groceries on the way home from work tomorrow.

I've learned my lesson.

I promise.

---

Okay, now that the official post is over, I promised my mom this weekend that I would post some songs of mine today.

Enjoy...or don't. But either way, I'm not looking for any comments. I'm just sharing 'cause my mom is making me.

I Wanna Be Free - this is an original piece recorded about five years ago on a four-track tape recorder...that's me on guitar...I know, I know, it sounds like I'm choking it to death...which I am (I've NEVER professed to be a good guitar player)

Amazing Grace - recorded all three parts about six years ago on a dual cassette player (hence, the hissing and poor quality)

Prayer of St. Francis - recorded about two years ago on my Mac so I could practice it in my car and learn the words. I had to sing it at a friend's wedding.

---

Monkbot Convention Update

2007-01-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN THE FUN!

I checked online and, as of last night, tickets to the Taylor Hicks House of Blues New Orleans concert on March 14 are still available through Ticketmaster. To purchase tickets, click here.

According to my records (which are wonky at best), so far nine people have registered for the Monkbot Convention in New Orleans, March 14-15.

Those nine people are:

Shelley
Quossum
Quossum's hubby, James
Bamaborntxbred
Shrewspeaks
Double D
NOLAgirl
Wompuss
Taylorsgirl

Have I missed anyone? If so, let me know a.s.a.p.

For details about the Convention, click here.

Also, I've tried to secure some superstars for the Convention.

I've confirmed that singer/songwriter/harp wailer/and all-around hottie Taylor Hicks will be attending.

As for blogmaster extraordinaire, Gray Charles, I have bugged the mess out of him, but I don't think he will be gracing us with his presence (though I really, truly wish he would...yikes at my desperate tone).

However, there is a slight chance that Brad and Angelina will be able to come...if they can find a sitter.

---

You may also use this post to discuss the dual marriage proposals on "Grey's Anatomy" and/or the controversy brewing OFF the set of "Men in Trees." (Does everyone know that Anne Heche is leaving her husband for her co-star? So very sad.)

---

Sean Michel Has Competition

2007-01-25T00:00:00.000-06:00

I'm a snob.

No, it's true.

I have a prejudice against pleasant-looking people.

People like...Nicholas Pedro.

Pedro, of Taunton, MA, auditioned last night on AI...and he was good.

Pedro, 25, actually had auditioned last year and made it to Hollywood, but he bowed out of the competition after botching the words to "Build Me Up, Buttercup" by The Foundations in the group sing.

Last night he was back...singing "Fly Me to the Moon" and sounding like creamy, dreamy goodness. He said he was back because last year he was just an account exec for a finance company and didn't take his talent seriously. This year, "[I'm] trying to redeem myself."

And he did just that. When he opened his mouth, my jaw dropped. I even heard Paula say under her breath, "I loved him."

But regardless of his warm and softly roughened voice, I didn't want to like him.

I didn't want to like him because of his looks. He's pretty white bread...dark, cropped and gelled hair, polo shirt, jeans, sneakers...not a bad looking guy at all...just very...middle America.

And how unfair is that of me? It's just as unfair as folks not liking Taylor or Sean Michel because of their quirkiness.

Pedro truly has emotion in his voice...and his voice is much better than Michel's. I also think he's light years ahead of this Sundance guy everyone's raving over.

But he still lacks edge. I see his leap from account exec to Il Divo Part II being a very short one...and that bothers me.

I want him to be a little more unpredictable...a little more dangerous...a little more mysterious...a little more convicted...a little more tortured...a little more artistic.

But that's my snobbery talking.

If I closed my eyes and heard him...I would melt. His voice is that good.

I just don't want another pop star. They have so little meaning to me. I want creativity and life and spirit and heartbreak and messiness and chaos.

See? Snob.

---

On another note about last night, I have to mention something that bothered me tremendously...an Aflac commercial.

Did anyone else see the Aflac duck commercial where the duck thinks he has turned into a superhero of sorts when garbage was wrapped around his neck and head?

Now, I'm not usually a crazed environmentalist...but I do have a pretty song conscience about it (or I at least TRY to). Anyway, seeing that a joke was made about the duck becoming empowered by a plastic bag that caught around its neck and engine exhaust across its eyes actually infuriated me.

It's garbage like plastic bags, plastic six-pack rings, and air pollution that is killing wildlife across this country.

This commercial is not cute or funny...it's crass and thoughtless.

I'm sure folks will think I'm a nut job for saying this...but I think this commercial devalues the importance of litter control and the ecological responsibility we have.

I think Aflac should be made to stop airing it...but what do I know, right? I can't even place proper value on singers who don't look like unkempt, torn artists.

So, maybe my perspective perceptors are broken.

---

"When It Comes Down to It, All of Us Are Really Poor Inside"

2007-01-24T00:00:00.000-06:00

I'm intrigued...

There were several good singers on AI last night...but one has captured my full attention.

Sean Michel...a soft-spoken 27-year-old from Bryant, Ark. (just outside of Little Rock).

Admittedly looking like a mix between "Osama, Jesus, Castro, and a homeless bum"...Michel had this to say..."but I really think all of us are kind of homeless. When it comes down to it, all of us are really poor inside."

Then he went before Simon, Randy, and Paula and sang Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down."

He wasn't technically the best singer...but his style and soul were so entirely captivating that I was drawn to him and wanted to hear more. He carried a Ray Lamontagne vibe with a bit of street and hip-hop edge.

I was sold immediately. I really, really like this guy. (The judges were sold, too, as they all three voted yes to send him to the next round in Hollywood.)

After the show, I went and looked him up on MySpace and found that he and his band have done quite a bit of traveling and performing in the South. But what interested me more is that these guys are Christians...and have a pretty great view on today's music industry.

Excerpt from Sean Michel's bio page on MySpace:
"The music we love was born some time ago, in a cotton field somewhere as people sang their sorrows and hopes. There was something spiritual in these songs, something bigger than the pain of life, something that inspired endurance. Over the years, these songs were transformed from Gospel and Blues, into Rock and Jazz, and later became every aspect of what is now called the music industry. As this transformation progressed further from its origins, it gradually began to lose the soul it was born with. The music around us became meaningless and empty, a wasteland of triviality where Gospel has been relegated as a footnote at music awards, a relic of where it all began. But things are destined to come full circle, and the time is coming for music to find its soul again. It is in this tradition that Seanmichel finds itself, a band longing for meaning in a culture struggling to do the same." Click here to read the rest...

I think I've found my favorite for this year. The guy has charisma, guts, talent, soul, conviction, and, from what I can tell, humility. Can't wait to see how he handles this nutty show...or even how he manages to get past the Hollywood round with all that hair.

I wish him the best...and promise to throw some votes his way if and when that time comes for him.

---

A clip of Michel performing in Sudan in 2005. This isn't really my style of music...has a little too much Daughtry sound...but I'm still interested in hearing more from this guy. His audition was so different from this clip.

---

To the One Who Was Always Supposed to Be There...He Just Never Knew It

2007-01-23T00:00:00.000-06:00

I was working on my computer last night (as always) and was listening to my "mellow" playlist of songs in iTunes.

I've been in a mellow mood for several days now actually...I think it's because I've had a sore throat and haven't been feeling well.

Anyway, as I was working, one of my all-time favorite songs started to play..."Sharing the Night Together" by Dr. Hook.

I love the lead singer's voice (Ray Sawyer?), and I love the overall grooviness of the song.

But what I really love is that the song always makes me think of one of my dearest high school boyfriends...Harrel Balius. (That's Harrel pictured above, with me at right and our good friend Cindy Green Herman at left. This was taken about five years after high school. The three of us had decided one Friday to head to New Orleans. We're pictured here at Pat O'Brien's in the French Quarter.)

Harrel was that guy in my life who I thought would always be Plan B. You know, if things never worked out for me romantically with anyone else...I could always fall back on Harrel.

Good ol' Harrel.

He was the first guy I ever French kissed. I remember that night so well. It was our sophomore year and we had gone out one Saturday night. I was driving Harrel home after the date (he didn't have his license yet) and he told me to pull over in the parking lot of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church. I did what he said...I pulled my little 1969 VW bug over...right underneath a light post.

"Shelley," Harrel threw his hands in the air. "Pull over where it's not so bright."

"Oh." I blushed, then backed the car into a darkened parking space.

Harrel leaned over the emergency brake and kissed me. I kissed back. It was lovely. And, before I knew what had happened, we had French kissed.

I pulled back, upset. Then, the dork that I was (and will forever be) started crying. Harrel looked like a scared rabbit...wondering what he had done.

"What's wrong, Shell? Are you okay?"

"Yes," I stuttered between sobs. "I just want to make sure you still respect me."

"Of course I do."

Since the mood was broken...we both decided to call it a night and go home.

It seemed so intense and daring and wild and adventurous then.

Now...thinking back on it...it just inspires a fit of embarrassed giggles.

Truly, I am the epitome of dork greatness.

Harrel and I only "went together" for four months while at Biloxi High School. But we would pal around every now and then for years to come when I'd come home from college. We'd either go out like we did in the picture above, or I'd hang out at his father's bakery (which he later came to own), watching him whip up meringue and ice petits fours. I always thought there was something so special about him.

He used to call me "pumpkin" and "blondie blonde" (my hair was lighter in high school from always being outside with the marching band).

We danced at our 10-year class reunion and folks thought we were dating...we weren't. Even the picture above is signed on back by Harrel..."To my only love. Harrel".

I never actually pined for him...he was my Harrel. I just always took comfort in thinking he'd be there for me...one day...if I needed him.

Best of plans mislaid, I guess. He got married about two years ago.

He was the last of my old boyfriends to settle down...while I have yet to. His marriage truly represented, it seemed then (and still does in many ways), that all my options had expired.

I didn't tell anyone...but the night I found out of his engagement...I cried...even harder than I had in that dark parking lot of Our Lady of Fatima.

Years ago, Harrel made me a tape of "The Anthology of Bread." As an added bonus, he included "Sharing the Night Together" at the end of side B. It wasn't a special song for us. We had never danced to it...or even listened to it together. I guess he just liked it and wanted me to have it.

I'm glad he did.

I still have that tape, and whenever I hear Dr. Hook sing "You're lookin' kinda lonely girl. Would ya like someone new to talk to? Ah yeah. Alright."...I think of Harrel...and what I thought could have been...but what was never meant to be.

So, here's to Harrel and all of our Plan B's...for respecting us then, loving us when, and unintentionally breaking our hearts along the way.

---

Land of the Frost

2007-01-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

Cleaning my kitchen Sunday...I stopped to really look at the contents of my fridge.

It's very, very sad.

I'm a grown woman (37 next month) with the refrigerator of a college freshman.

The Freezer:
2 frozen chicken cutlets
1 pack of frozen peas
1 ice pack
8 ice cube trays

The Cooler
1/4 jar of salsa
2 cut onions (one white, one purple)
3/4 container of organic low fat plain yogurt
3/4 container free range chicken broth
1 kosher dill pickle spear
3 containers of water...put there the night before Katrina hit
1 lemon
1/5 pitcher of tea
1 can of coffee
2 bulbs of garlic
2 sweet potatoes
1 old tomato
2 gel eye masks

The Door
A fifth of Jack Daniels (I know, I know, it doesn't need refrigeration...I just had no other place to put it)
Another can of Maxwell house, plus a bag of Hawaiian coffee
4 containers of jelly
7 bottles of salad dressing
1 bottle each of Teriyaki and Worcestershire sauces
1 jar of relish
3 opened boxes of Arm & Hammer baking soda
4 bottles of water (also put there the night before Katrina)
1 bottle ketchup
2 jars of mustard
1 jar of mayo
1 can of Parmesan cheese
1 Sleestack

Dinner at my house tomorrow at 8.

---

Boy...When Life Is Good...It's Beautiful

2007-01-20T00:00:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, when it comes to Taylor Hicks...I've gone 'round the bend and back again.

I like him.

I don't like him.

I'm crushed on him.

I'm tough on him.

I want to marry him.

I'd be happy to just interview him.

I want my picture with him.

I'd just love a picture of him with Traveling Monkbot.

Silliness.

Well...about two months ago I finally came to peace with what I truly want from Taylor Hicks.

I want great music...lots of entertainment...and, oh yeah, to sing a duet with him.

I'm serious.

I've put quite a lot of thought into this final wish.

What would I sing if I had the chance at a duet with Taylor Hicks?

I know I wouldn't want to do a big ballad...too cheesy.

I wouldn't want something cutesy or too rock-'n-roll, either.

After turning it over and over in my mind...I thought I had finally had come up with the perfect song...

This performance makes me smile...one of those pure smiles that overtakes your face before you realize what's happened. A smile that stems from being joyous and in love with life. To sing "Mockingbird" with Taylor would be utterly fabulous.

But, then again...

I love this clip. I love the simplicity and the earnestness. You can see how much Carly loves James. She's so pretty... sun-kissed...love-kissed... and naively bound for heartbreak. This is so bittersweet to watch now...but still so tragically lovely.

This is the song I want to sing.

Taylor, if you're out there...come sing "Close Your Eyes" with me...and I promise to never bother you again...not for an autograph, an interview, a photo, or a marriage proposal.

I swear.

---

Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
So this old world must still be spinning round
And I still love you

(chorus)
So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, its all right
I dont know no love songs
And I cant sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song
When Im gone

It wont be long before another day
We gonna have a good time
And no ones gonna take that time away
You can stay as long as you like

---

Why My Dad Is the Bestest Dad in the Whole World

2007-01-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

This is the picture of me that my dad keeps on his dresser. The year was 1994 and I was on my way to go play with the Gulf Coast Symphony Orchestra. Mom (photographer) and Dad went to hear me play. This was taken at my little beachfront apartment in Biloxi...sadly, it's no longer there since Katrina. Anyway, I love this picture of Dad and me. (My hair is up in a twisty, curly pom-pom...it was the 90s...you could get away with stuff like that then.)
I was only 24...sigh.

Last night I was heating up a piece of bread in the oven to eat while I cooked dinner (it was either that or drive to Wendy's 'cause I was STARVING).

Anyway, I noticed a flickering light in the oven. I opened the door and found that a one-inch section of the bottom heating element in the oven was sparking and glowing.

I turned off the oven.

The sparking got worse.

I began to panic.

I threw some flour on it.

The glowing turned to small flames.

I shut the oven door and wrung my hands.

Should I call the fire department over a little sparking coil? What if it got worse before the fire department got here? But, still... firemen... mmmmmm...

I refocused.

I shut off the top burner of the stove.

The sparks flew higher inside the oven.

I grabbed the phone and called the person I always call in emergencies.

I called my dad.

Now, let me stop here and tell you that my dad rarely answers the phone. I mean...almost never. Usually my call is answered by my 15-year-old brother, Cooper (who has an amazing social calendar), or my mom (who's always hoping her kids will call). But my dad...he's usually out in his shop working on a car or out in the yard working on the lawn. However...inexplicably...whenever I call because I need dad's help...the most uncanny thing happens...dad always answers.

"Hello," came the deep voice that I love so much...just hearing it calmed me some...though I was still compelled to talk a mile a minute to tell him the problem before my house exploded.

"Dad...my oven...fire...sparks...I don't know...should I call the fire department...it's glowing...what...how can I stop it...what should I do..."

"Shell," he spoke in a tone usually issued by wise sages that live atop high mountains and dedicate entire days to forming the perfect thought. "Calm down."

"Yes, sir."

"It's gonna be okay."

"Yes, sir."

"Go turn off the oven at the breaker switch."

D'oh!

"Yes, sir." I padded to the breaker box and flipped the switch. "I did it."

"Now, is it still sparking?"

I walked back to the stove and peered inside the oven..."No, sir."

"Your heating element needs to be replaced. Don't use your oven until you get it fixed."

"Can I use the burners?"

"Well, turn on your breaker switch and see."

Back to the breaker box I went..."Okay...I did it."

"Is it sparking?"

I walked back to the oven..."No, sir."

"Then, yes, you can use the burners." His delivery was dry and full of sarcasm...he's the master at sarcasm.

"Thanks, Dad. Sorry I lost it a little. I love you."

"You're welcome. No problem. I love you, too." This time the sarcasm was mixed with a heavy dose of mock patronizing. I paused and pictured his twinkling blue eyes. I was sure he was smiling broadly...he always smiles when he gives me a hard time.

I smiled, too.

"Dad, what would I do without you?"

"You'd do fine, kid." Not a trace of sarcasm...just relief and love.

---

And speaking of dad's...who else cried like a baby when George's dad passed last night on "Grey's Anatomy"? That whole episode was amazing.

As for "The Office"...my heart leapt when Karen asked Jim if he still had feelings for Pam and he said, "Yeah." Good stuff.

And...for anyone watching "Men in Trees"...is it me or does Justine Bateman seem to have not aged well?

---

Oh...and I have to say...I don't want you guys sucking up to me in hopes of getting closer to Gray Charles or Taylor Hicks...I want you guys sucking up to me because you like me.

---

And We Have a Winner...

2007-01-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

Grilled Tilapia!

Y'all...thanks for the advice. This fish was GREAT. All I did was squeeze fresh lemon and sprinkle with pepper before cooking it in my George Foreman Grill. On the side, I had steamed broccoli and red potatoes. A little butter and salt to taste...and voila!

By the way, though I'm not exercising (doctor said to not undergo strenuous activity until my blood pressure is down), I have lost 9 pounds in about two and a half weeks. I attribute this to avoiding restaurants and take-out. (And going to bed with my stomach growling...ha.)

Yeah!

---

As for last night's American Idol...I love Blake the Beat Box Guy!

Shamalee and Sunjia (I know I screwed up spelling)...brother and sister...absolutely adorable!

Oh and to Simon for telling that girl to put her gum on Taylor's face...jerk.

P.S. For whatever reason...I have a HUGE crush on Ryan Seacrest after these first two days of AI. Is that wrong?

---

I headed over to Gray's chat after Idol and met up with Squee and Tex there. We were all gabbing about the long string of bizarre and, seemingly, mentally challenged folks AI has highlighted so far in auditions and how the judges seem to be even more cruel this year than in years past.

I said that one day Randy, Simon, and even Paula would have to answer for their mockery of these people.

Texan said that, even though it's mean...sometimes you just gotta laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

I said I agreed...but that I always feel guilty for laughing.

And our little Tex replied simply with "humor guilt."

I thought this was a pretty brilliant term and wanted to throw it out to all my Monkbots to discuss.

What are your thoughts on the mean-spiritedness of the show this year? Is AI exploiting these "slow" folks who come out to audition? Or do these folks deserve such treatment simply because they have enough wherewithal to audition?

Personally...I think it's on the side of exploitation. You never see the average kid singing poorly and getting pummelled by Simon. It's usually the slightly stupid or oddly put-together slob that gets torn to shreds.

What do y'all think?

---

17 out of 10,000...and not a single Taylor Hicks

2007-01-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

I think my brother, Cooper, summed it up best when he called me last night after American Idols' premier.

"It's gonna be a long season, Shell."

True dat, little brotha.

True. Dat.

---

Monkbot Convention Registration

2007-01-16T00:00:00.000-06:00

This is the official sign-up for the Monkbot Convention in New Orleans, March 14.

A head count is needed for planning purposes. NOLAgirl may be able to shuttle folks from the airport to the hotels, but those plans are still in the air (go ahead and plan to bring cab fare).

Regardless, send the following information to monkbottalk@gmail.com if you plan to attend:

Your REAL NAME
Your ONLINE NAME
The names of any people you are bringing
When you plan to arrive (for folks flying in)
Where you plan on staying
A cell phone number you can be reached at

This is a no-frills convention. Here is the schedule once everyone is in town.

March 14
Meet at The Gumbo Shop in the French Quarter at 4:30 p.m. March 14 for dinner.

Walk to House of Blues at 6:30 p.m. Doors open at 7 p.m.

Party and sing and dance while Taylor performs (beginning at 8 p.m.).

Go back to hotels (or where ever) when concert ends (around 11 p.m.?)

March 15
For anyone up to it, meet for breakfast at yet-to-be-determined time and yet-to-be-determined restaurant.

Go home.

Everyone is responsible for getting their own ticket, making their own travel arrangements, securing their own lodging, and paying for their own food. If possible, NOLAgirl and I can tote people here and there. (Anyone else bringing a car can do the same.)

If you haven't pre-registered at the Houses of Blues, do it by clicking here. Ticket pre-sales begin today, Jan. 16, at 10 a.m. Tickets cost $28.50. The concert is general admission and, from the online pics of the House of Blues, the venue is similar to the Workplay...open space and relaxed. I, personally, am NOT going to worry about standing on the floor in front of the stage. I'll be happy to sit at a table. (I stood at Workplay and it proved a frustrating situation.) However, to each his own.

For those needing to book a hotel, click here.

House of Blues website

Map and directions to House of Blues

Event detail page

I'll keep everyone posted on who is coming.

The most important things right now are to buy tickets and let me know if you're coming.

---

And I Thought Saturday Would Be Boring...

2007-01-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

My expectations for Saturday were fairly low.

Not in a bad way, just in a "I have nothing much planned today" way.

Other than catching a matinee with my friend, Jon, and picking up a camera from another friend, Kathy Sue, all I really HAD to take care of was getting groceries. And I also knew I wanted to visit a local butcher shop...but more on that later.

I woke around 8 a.m., got showered and dressed as soon as I could stumble out of bed and let Sadie out. I put on jeans and my turquoise shirt and threw my hair back in a ponytail. I was very pleased to notice that my jeans fit a little looser than normal (thanks to two weeks of cooking for myself...this is possibly the longest I've gone in four years withOUT buying food from a restaurant.)

Once I was ready for the day and had loaded my iPod up with a bunch of new songs I had purchased (I had gone on a Dolly Parton binge thanks to a post at Gray's that morning)...I was ready for the day.

I loaded Sadie in the car and pulled out of the drive to head to Kathy Sue's house. She's having her engagement party next weekend and asked if I would serve as photographer. I agreed, but only if I could borrow her digital camera...which is TONS nicer than mine. She was to leave it hidden in her storage room for me to pick up...as she was visiting her grandmother in the Delta this weekend.

It was a beautiful day...70-something degrees and sunny. As I drove down the street, I couldn't help but notice the saddest excuse of a garage sale going on not more than five houses down from my house. A scattering of smallish, uneventful items were set on a couple of rickety tray tables and overturned cardboard boxes that lined the driveway. I slowed somewhat...to peruse from my car, but nothing caught my eye, so I decided to drive on.

I got to K.S.'s house and found the camera, hidden where she told me she'd leave it for me...under a red plaid blanket.

I jotted her a note to let her know I had the camera, set it on the blanket, then drove on to Jimmy's Gourmet Meat and Speciality Shoppe.

I didn't know what quite to expect at the butcher shop. I had told Jon I was running by the butcher and he said..."The butcher? Are you living in 1950?"

I did feel a little Barbara Billingsly walking into the shop...though Jon insisted it was more of a Jane Wyatt act.

I gotta admit, it was nice having someone wait on me and answer all my stupid questions. The best you get at the Kroger is a guy running around, with lots of customers and little selection.

Another plus is that...all the butcher shop guys were fairly hunky. Not really my type, but very nice to look at through cases of raw meat. Err...that doesn't sound right...or does it?

I asked what type of fish would be mild and tasty.

"Anything but salmon," I said.

They recommended tilapia. It was $7.99 per pound (yikes). I bought three vacuum packed, frozen fillets .

I also saw a beautiful, lean cut of pork and had butcher guy cut me two 6 oz. servings. The coolest part of the visit was that they actually used honest to goodness butcher paper to wrap the pork.

Sadly, it takes very little to impress me.

After the butcher, I ran by the house to drop off the meat and put Sadie in the backyard to enjoy the beautiful day. The garage sale was winding down and my neighbor was moving items to the curb. I couldn't help but notice a big box, filled with old crutches. For whatever inane reason, I really wanted those crutches. But I couldn't stop...I only had a few minutes to get to the new theatre in Madison to see "The Holiday" with Jon.

Fantastic movie. I've never thought Cameron Diaz was a great actress, but she had some wonderful moments. Kate Winslet was precious. Jack Black gave us some chuckles. But Jude...

Jude Law is absolutely beautiful. He radiated from the screen. Not only is he gorgeous, his portrayal of the "widowed dad with heart" was lovely.

My only complaint with the movie is that they hired one of the hottest actors in Hollywood and used him in only one scene.

That actor is John Krasinski.

He was adorable...for the full 60 seconds he was on the screen.

Grrrrr...

But all my irritation with Hollywood was forgotten when I pulled back up to the house.

In my mailbox was a package...from Mind Doc.

I grabbed the package and excitedly opened it...and found...a pair of underwear.

Seriously, when I opened the package and saw the skivvies (pictured atop this post)...I howled with laughter. They are genuine Neighborhoodies drawers. Of course they are WAY too small to wear on my big butt...however...perhaps as a lovely chapeau? The new Taylor Toboggan...I'm sure it will be the next big craze with the kids.

Once I had caught my breath after laughing hysterically at Mind Doc's gift...I went out to check on Sadie in the backyard and noticed some torn paper near the back fence.

Now, I'm used to trash being in my yard. I live across from an elementary school. Cheetos bags, candy wrappers, notes that didn't make it to the teacher, or A+ tests that didn't make it to refrigerator doors...if it was in a backpack at one time...it usually ends up in my yard at some point.

Today's find was from someone who really, really likes strawberry cake...but has a small aversion to the letter "o".

I headed back in the house and put together a grocery list then went to the Kroger to get my non-meat things. I couldn't help but notice the box of crutches was still there, but it was getting dark and I wanted to get my shopping done before it got too late...so, once again, I left them at curbside.

Once I got to the Kroger and was walking toward the entrance, I noticed a mother and two children, a boy and a younger girl, in the parking lot. Both kids had Mylar balloons...obviously purchased for good behavior. But just as they began to load their car, the little girl's balloon escaped and began floating away into the dark sky. She didn't cry. She just stood there and watched. I stood there, too...watching it tussle with the breeze as it lifted. I'm sure I can attribute this to seeing too many movies or watching way too much television, but seeing a balloon on the run always makes me feel wistful and dreamy.

It took a second or two, but I finally came to my senses and stepped out of the middle of the thoroughfare. I grabbed my camera phone as fast as I could to snap a shot for the blog, but that balloon was in an awful hurry. I only managed to capture a blur...as well as two other objects that, I'm sure, I hadn't seen before. I quickly put my phone away and trotted inside the safety of the store...a girl simply can't leave herself vulnerable to a potential alien abduction.

On the way home from the grocery store...I lingered a bit in front of my neighbor's house...pining for those stupid crutches, which still beckoned to me from there cardboard nest. I can't explain what on Earth their appeal was to me. The Okidata printer (circa 1989) and the hospital tray table that also sat on the curb did nothing for me...but those crutches...I wanted them so badly that I couldn't stand it. Why would I want these? Why?!

Okay, so I've rescued more than my fair share of junk from the curb in my time...among my top finds are a chair (still have it), a small bookshelf (still have it), an entertainment center (read: an old phone cable spindle...don't still have it)...and...the pièce de résistance...a 1970-something jukebox with a miniature rotating disco ball hanging above the song menu and the words "Be a Pepper" plastered on the side (this was found by me and my brother, Ben, who helped me load it and haul it home...and then promptly reload it and take it to the dump once Mom saw it).

Curb culling is a sickness...I admit to that. But isn't admitting it the first step toward recovery?

You'll be happy to know, I resisted the urge to take the crutches. I settled for a snapshot. But believe me when I tell you that, after such an eventful day and knowing those crutches were calling to me from a mere five houses away...I could barely fall asleep that night.

I did finally drift off, however...and I dreamed of what a fantastic day I had had...and I rested peacefully knowing that, if those ridiculous crutches were still there in the morning...they would be mine.

Thank goodness they weren't.

I'm truly beyond help.

---

Happy 25th NOLAgirl!

2007-01-12T22:16:00.000-06:00

Our little NOLA turned 25 Jan. 12.

Let's all wish her well...'cause it's all downhill from here.

Right?

I kid. I kid. Happy B-Day, girl! Love ya loads.

---

In Honor of Taylor Hicks...and Possibly the Creepiest Video Ever

2007-01-12T17:32:00.000-06:00

Taylor Hicks revealed on GoFish that the song he secretly listens to at home is "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.

I must admit...not until I rewatched the video for this post did I realize what it was about.

Madame Tyler had a thing for the little boys.

Creepy.

On a lighter note...way back in 1984, when I was 14 and foolish. I wanted nothing more than to have a hairstyle just like Bonnie Tyler.

And to prove it...

And in honor of Taylor's love of "I Will Survive"...here's an oldie but a goodie.

----

NOOOOO!!!!!!! Don't Take My Dwight!

2007-01-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

Evil. Cruel. Hateful. Brilliant.

The writers of "The Office" have broken my heart.

We get two back-to-back episodes of Dwight actually having warm and fuzzy moments.

Then they give us an episode with Dwight and Jim as an AMAZING sales team together...only to have DWIGHT RESIGN??!!??

I mean, I know he won't stay gone...but still.

DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE RESIGNS???

I'm riveted...can't wait for next week.

Brilliant episode.

---

Didn't watch "Ugly Betty." Will download from iTunes tomorrow.

---

"Grey's Anatomy"...great show. I cried. I laughed. I dreamed McDreamy was kissing ME and loving the way I snored.

And...sorry, Bama...but Callie is growing on me. I REALLY liked her last night.

---

Now...on to more important items...

Gray Charles announced Thursday that Taylor Hicks will be performing in New Orleans at the House of Blues.

This means...

THE MONKBOT CONVENTION IS ON!

I will start working on plans this weekend.

For now...here is information sent to me by NOLAgirl (thank you, ma'am).

Presale starts Jan. 16 at 10 a.m. to HOB members, Jan. 20 to public.

Concert is WEDNESDAY March 14. Doors open at 7:00, concert starts at 8:00. Ticket price is $28.50. I BELIEVE all of their shows are general admission seating, but I have e-mailed them to ask specifically about this show.

Venue main web site

Map and directions

Event detail page

To create an account, and thus be able to buy tickets Jan. 16

Random thoughts:

- Pay parking lot is about a block's walk away from HoB. I've never had a problem finding a spot, plus it's a Wed. night so it'll really be fine.

- There is an upstairs (no smoking) and a downstairs at the venue. Bars and bathrooms on both. Upstairs there are maybe 10-15 table at the most, and I'd imagine they'd get taken very early. I plan on wearing comfy shoes and standing the whole time.

Everyone should go ahead and create an account in order to get tickets.

More details will follow later.

Yeah!

---

Will You? Won't You? Will I? Won't I?

2007-01-11T00:00:00.000-06:00

The madness begins in a week.

American Idol Season 6 premiers Tuesday and Wednesday, January 16 and 17.

I will be watching.

Will you?

I can't wait to see how Taylor's win will affect this year...higher age limit, song writing contest, proving Simon WRONG, finding the unexpected.

I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.

P.S.
Is it just me or does anyone else totally not even consider American Idol anymore when thinking of Taylor? I swear, the two seem totally removed from one another to me. Am I crazy? What is THAT about?

P.P.S.
It's been a might quiet in the Monkbot hallways the past two days. What gives? Are we a bored lot? Are folks swamped at work? Have my posts sucked? Is everyone trapped under something heavy and unable to reach their keyboards? Should the site be shut down for a bit to give folks a rest? Just wondering.

---

My Timing Has Always Sucked Just a Little

2007-01-10T00:00:00.001-06:00

Not more than three months ago (after five years of service) I switched my cell phone carrier from Cingular to T-Mobile.

I did this to save money and to be able to make free calls to my brother and sister-in-law in Hawaii and my brother in Memphis...they are all on T-Mobile.

I thought I was sooooo smart.

Pffftthhhh

By now, many of you know of my love for Apple products.

Beyond John Krasinski...beyond John Mayer...even beyond Taylor Hicks...Steve Jobs is the one, true love of my life.

And yesterday he ripped my heart out.

Not only did he announce the newest Apple products...the Apple TV and the iPhone (pictured above)...both of which I desperately want...he announced that iPhone (which comes out in July) will only be available through...

drumroll, please...

Cingular.

How friggin' ironic.

I'm now faced with the dilema of switching back...something I may have to do...because I know this product will be amazing (my brother in Memphis, Ben, has already decided to do so).

Anyway...I know y'all don't really care about my dilemma...but what I know you'll care about is this...

Go to this page on Apple's site and click "Watch iPhone Introduction." It's a Quicktime video of Job's Keynote Address.

If you're a geek like me...you'll watch the entire hour and a half. If you're not, you'll scroll to 1 hour, 22 minutes in and watch an amazing live performance by John Mayer.

Enjoy...while I agonize over which kidney to sell on the black market so I can afford the new phone.

---

What's the Dumbest Thing You've Ever Lost a Friendship Over?

2007-01-10T00:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, so when I read yesterday that John Cusak and Jeremy Piven might no longer be friends...I was saddened deeper than when Brad left Jen.

These guys used to share an apartment and have been starring in movies together since "One Crazy Summer" (1986). According to Internet Movie Database...here are the movies they have filmed together

One Crazy Summer - 1986
Elvis Stories - 1989
Say Anything - 1989
The Grifters - 1990
Floundering - 1994
Grosse Pointe Blank - 1997

Serendipity - 2001

Runaway Jury - 2003

They've both been working for more than 20 years in the industry...but Piven has never found that solid footing that Cusak did early on. (Does anyone other than me remember cutie-pie John as the big brother in "Stand By Me"?)

Piven has been in his share of stinkers...and movies I've never heard of. Take a look at his list of films on Internet Movie Database. He's also schlepped around T.V. for awhile. I remember him from when he was on "Ellen" and I even remember his failed "Cupid" series. It's actually T.V. that has brought him into the limelight recently..."Entourage" (which I've never seen...but which won him an Emmy last year).

Cusak...though always a cult favorite...rarely plays anything but a leading man (or a crony to Anthony Michael Hall...very hot).

Anyway, Piven is now hinting that Cusak is jealous of the new found success of "Entourage" and the friendship has been quelled.

If that's true...then it's absurd.

Plus, I have to point out the utter ridiculousness of Piven even broaching the subject in the press. Maybe Piven is too big for HIS britches...why else would he put down an old friend? Wouldn't the matter be better settled AWAY from the media?

Personally...I think had Jeremy tricked John into entering Candy Mountain...THEN and ONLY THEN should the friendship have been terminated...

---

It's the End of the World As We Know It...But I Feel Fine

2007-01-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

Blood pressure medication prescribed within a week of R.E.M. and Van Halen being inducted in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?

Yikes...just call me Granny.

By they way...when you're heating up salmon that you've cooked previously and you get totally engrossed watching an R.E.M. video because it totally rawks...this happens.

(There was actually fire shooting out of my oven...and I'm blaming it on Michael Stipe's haunting voice.)

But I ate the fish anyway. The inside was great...and I think the process actually helped minimize the fishy taste.

Did anyone else think Eddie Van Halen was soooo cool putting his lit cigarette in his guitar pegs back then?

Geez...if only we knew how he'd turn out...we wouldn't have thought there was ANYTHING cool about smoking.

NOTE TO TAYLOR HICKS: Please stop smoking...I can't bear the thought of you looking like Eddie one day.

Shudder

You're just too purty the way you are...

taylor hicks - the right place (in studio)

---

P.S. I walked Sadie last night. Yeah!

---

Where I Spent Last Thursday Morning

2007-01-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I've already begun putting my New Year's Resolutions into action.

This Sunday I visited a new church...which was nice...except that I was one of only 17 people in the sanctuary (including the preacher, minister of music, and deacons)...and I was the youngest in the room...by at least 30 years. (The pastor was 84...I know because he told me.)

Everyone was nice...and pretty excited to have a new face in the pews. But as lovely as the little church was...I think I'm going to keep looking...until I come across a church with an average age of at least 70.

On the weightloss front, I took a trip to an internist on Jan. 4 for a complete physical and guidance about my weight goals. This was an appointment I set three months ago (that was the soonest I could book an appointment).

Other than having to wear the oh-so stylishly drafty hospital gown (opening to the front) and getting walked in on when I was mid-pee giving my urine specimen in a cup (I now need therapy)...the appointment went great. The doctor gave me some hope about the hair on my chinny chin chin...and she recommended a nutritionist for me to see (scheduled for Feb. 13...again, that was the soonest I could be taken).

Until then, I'm trying my best to eat healthy and not eat any fast food or take out at all.

So far, I've gone on a Flavor Adventure at lunch...

And...for the first time in my entire life...cooked fish...SAL-mon!

(Please don't gag at the above picture...it was a Southern Living recipe for salmon topped with homemade salsa...a mistake I will NEVER repeat...as long as I live.)

I hate fish...unless it comes in fried or stick form. However, my doctor said I have to start working it into my diet for a healthier heart and such.

The salmon was okay...but still pretty fishy. I managed to gag down a servng of salsa through one meal...then promptly chucked the leftovers in the garbage. It was disgusting, which was pretty upsetting considering how much chopping and shucking (yes, I shucked the corn and cut it from the cob...so it'd be fresh) and peeling and cooking went into it.

Blech.

I've also tried to be more active...but I know I need to do better.

I walked Sadie on Friday afternoon for 20 minutes and stayed busy all weekend...which meant I slept better (because I was actually tired).

Oh...one important note...after my EKG...blood and urine sampling...physical exam...and having my blood pressure taken three times...the doctor said that all my numbers are good...except my blood pressure. This came as no surprise to me as my blood pressure has always been high and hypertension runs in my family. Nonetheless...I'm now on blood pressure medication. The good news is there is a possibility that I can get off of it once I lose weight.

About the Monkbot Weightloss Plan...I put a lot of thought into it this weekend and this is what I determined...

I'm not going to put a plan in action for everyone. It's not realistic.

What I am going to do is post my progress as I work toward my goal. In these posts, those who are working to loose weight can share their progress as well in the comment section.

I hope this will work for everyone...as it's all I can offer. My mind has to be on ME right now...I really want to get healthy and, if possible, get OFF this medication.

So...everyone...spill...how are you doing on your healthy lifestyle? Any good recipes (I need low sodium ones, please)? Any ideas for activities? Successes from anyone yet? Setbacks?

Let me hear it!

---

You Skeevy Little Perv

2007-01-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

Today's post is for everyone who watches "The Office." (If you don't watch the show...I'm sorry...you probably won't get the following.)

---

"Dwight...you're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office." - Jim

"I am now chopping Phyllis' head off with a chainsaw....ring-ing-ing-ing-ing." - Andy

---

"My bonus check was $100 less than you promised...I'm not doing a lick more work until I get my bonus check." - Stanley to Michael

"You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brud-dahs...mon." - Michael to Stanley

---

"Inventory is boring. In the Islands they don't make you do stuff like inventory...why do you think so many businesses move to the Caymans?" - Michael

---

"The Jamaicans don't have a word for impossible." - Michael

"Yep, it's English...it's 'impossible.'" - Jim

---

"Jan told me to play it cool and not tell anybody because it could get us in trouble, so officially I did not see her...but I did see Jan there...in our room...at night...and in the morning. That's all I'm going to say...

Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan." - Michael

---

"Hey, I need to talk to you." - Toby to Michael

"Not now. Not ever." - Michael to Toby

"About you and Jan." - Toby

"Aww, none of your business." - Michael

"I wish that were true but it seems from the photo of the two of you that you are in an intimate relationship." - Toby

"That photo is my personal property and if you are telling that you went on my computer and stole that photo, I'm going to call the cops." - Michael

"Michael, nine different people e-mailed me that photo...including my ex-wife...you know, for your own protection you should disclose this relationship to H.R." - Toby

"...I bet you would love all the details, wouldn't you, you skeevy little perv." - Michael

---

While planning a luau...

"I called every grocery store in Scranton and no one sells whole pigs." - Phyllis

"Did you try the petting zoo?" - Angela

---

"Who did this to you...where is he?" - Dwight to Pam (who is crying)

Hands her a handkerchief and sits beside her.

"You don't need to stay here." - Pam

"I know." - Dwight

Dwight puts his arm around her as she starts to cry again.

"So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?" - Dwight

---

"Despite everything...I still want to be with you." - Jan to Michael

"And I...in addition...feel...the same feelings...that you are...as well." - Michael to Jan

---

I love this show. If you don't watch the show...run...don't walk...to iTunes and download it. I swear, it's the funniest (and at times...the most touching) show on television.

So to "The Office" I say...you complete me.

---

UPDATE: I just realized that I didn't really give a question or specific topic for discussion.

So here are two things to ponder...one for Office-phites and one for everyone to chime in on...

FOR OFFICE VIEWERS
1. What's with the last two episodes showing the softer side of Dwight? (Holding Angela's hand last episode and, in last night's episode, comforting Pam...even if he thought she was PMSing...) Why do you think the writers are giving us these little tender Dwight nuggets?

FOR EVERYONE
2. From the on-going storyline of Jan and Michael we see where this beautiful, smart, confident woman can't keep herself from being attracted to a complete ninny of a guy...who has a great heart...but who bungles pretty much everything he does. My question to y'all is...have you ever been in a situation like that...where you couldn't help liking someone who, socially, would ruin you? What would you (did you) do if you were faced with that situation?

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Are You a Lyric Lover or Melody Maven?

2007-01-04T00:00:00.000-06:00

So I was washing dishes Tuesday night, belting out "I Love the Nightlife," thinking what an absolutely ridiculous song it is...but also thinking how much I absolutely love to sing it at the top of my lungs.

And while thinking...something Wompuss wrote earlier that day kept creasing my brain. She referenced a post from Emily's Everything blog about Taylor Hicks' song "Just to Feel that Way" and how deeply that song touched her (Emily)...primarily because of the lyrics.

See...I think that song is okay...not great...but not the strongest from the album...and certainly not my top pick for the first single (but what do I know...I wash my own dishes for crying out loud).

The point is, since Taylor's album has been released, I've seen how opinions have varied greatly from song to song. Some folks love "Give Me Tonight" (ahem...glares at Bama)..and some folks have sense enough to hate it (me). My friend, Staci, told me she can't get enough of Taylor's "Places I've Been"...and I didn't even feel it was worth putting on the album.

I know people's opinions are purely subjective (a point that explains how stuff like this makes it on the radio)...and I also know that there really isn't any science to a universal song that is loved by all (if so...we'd all be placed in a Zen-like state by "Muskrat Love").

But what I have noticed is that a lot of folks seem to be drawn to songs for the lyrics. The words touch them...move them...speak to them.

I'm just not that deep.

You'd think that, as a writer, I would be drawn to lyrics. But that's not how I roll.

For me...it's all about sound.

The sound of music (excuse the Rodgers and Hammerstein reference)...the hook...the musician's voice...how he or she chews on vowels or spits out consonants. If the sound of a song doesn't grab me...I rarely take time to give the lyrics a chance (maybe that's why I've never been able to get into Dylan).

Take "I Love the Nightlife" for example...I've ALWAYS dug how Alicia Bridges sung "ack-SHAWN"...I mean...it just doesn't get any better than that.

And growing up, I loved Duran Duran...but to this day...I couldn't tell you their lyrics. Without Googling...if anyone can tell me the lyrics to "The Reflex" or "New Moon on Monday"...I'll give them the Monkbot Medal of Honor. Simon Le Bon's inarticulate delivery of lyrics made him sound like he was chewing on taffy. But I didn't care...I loved HOW he sang his muddled words...and I loved the sound of Duran Duran's music...in all its synthesized glory.

Don't get me wrong, I have songs that speak to me...that have lyrics that make me cry.

I truly and sincerely enjoy a well-turned phrase.

But the music has to grab me first.

So...let me hear how y'all listen to music...are lyrics your draw...or is a toe-tapping tune the first to capture your fancy?

(And no fair saying "it depends"...I'll yell foul and make you start over.)

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Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot? Only if You're a Situational Friend

2007-01-03T00:00:00.000-06:00

So I was working on the blog when I got a call last night from my dear friend, Paul (pictured at left).

Paul was my editor at The Reflector student newspaper when we both were in school at Mississippi State University.

Engaging his adventurous spirit and his ability to speak Russian, Paul left for the far reaches of the world after school and has lived abroad for about 13 years. He is currently residing in Moscow.

He's always been so good to stay in contact with old friends...me included. And he never holds it against me (well not too much) that I don't return e-mails. (Sorry, Paul.) Anyway, I can usually expect a call from him when he returns to his home in West Point, MS, every so often to recharge his batteries and eat his mom's good cookin'.

We were supposed to get together this week while he was in Mississippi, but schedules wouldn't allow. However, I did get my annual call.

We chatted for nearly an hour...talking about work, mutual friends, family...whatever. Our friendship is one that has always just worked...whether we're walking the grounds of Mississippi State or trying to ride down a snowy hill on a makeshift sled or getting lost in a wildlife refuge or working into the wee hours putting out a newspaper or whether a year has passed since we spoke last.

In other words...we're more than just situational friends (to coin Paul's phrase).

Situational Friend -- Someone who you call friend while you are both in a situation you have no control over...project, work, school, etc.

I've had lots of situational friends in my lifetime. As a matter of fact, I subscribe to the train of thought that MOST people who pass through my life are situational friends. I rarely keep friends for more than a couple of years. It's not that I'm being mean...just realistic.

I think we all change from year to year, job to job, residence to residence, age to age. During each phase in our lives we befriend people who share situations or environments. We befriend them only because of the commonality of shared experiences, and once those situations or environments change...the friendships usually fade out, too. It's not like we sought out their friendship...rather, we gravitated toward them out of happenstance, routine, necessity, boredom, whatever. And they gravitated toward us for the same lackluster reasons.

Basically...we were both just there at the same time...and could stand each other...so...we became friends.

I've always wondered about people who have a ton of friends. It just doesn't seem realistic to me. Truly, can you have a real connection with tons of people?

For me the answer is no.

I can count my number of friends like Paul on less than two hands...Cindy, Paul, Rhonda, Michelle, Tammy, and Jon.

I've known Cindy since 7th grade. We both are cut ups and pot stirrers.

Paul and Rhonda I've known since college. I've told y'all about Paul. Rhonda? Well, we could just talk and talk and talk...and not be encumbered by the world around us.

Michelle and I have been friends since my second job out of college (she was also my editor). We have the same since of humor and love of words.

Tammy has been my friend since my second to last job. Not only does she make me laugh...she fascinates me with her wit and philosophy on life.

And Jon...he's another fellow writer (much more accomplished than I) and probably one of the most bitingly funny people I know. He's also my pop culture twin.

Sure, I have other friends...friends I love dearly. But the six listed above are ones who I rarely or never talk to...but when I do, we can talk for hours. These are the six people I most feel myself around. And they all have had such an impact on me.

Anyway, back to my call from Paul. While on the phone, he told me he had visited Monkbot Talk (as did Michelle via e-mail before Christmas...my two little editors reading up on their little Shelley...how sweet...blush).

Paul said he enjoyed the blog and I told him I'd write about his call for today's post...but only if he promised to visit and leave a comment.

So...to Paul...this post is dedicated to you...forever my non-situational friend.

Thanks for the call...and for your tenacity. For you, I'm spreading the love...such a beautiful thing.

And, in honor of your recent discovery of YouTube (he is without Internet in Moscow)...here's a little Le Chic...as per your request.

---

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T09:19:00.000-06:00

re·solve (rĭ-zŏlv')
v. re·solved, re·solv·ing, re·solves
v. tr.

To make a firm decision about.
To cause (a person) to reach a decision. See Synonyms at decide.
To decide or express by formal vote.
To change or convert: My resentment resolved itself into resignation.
To find a solution to; solve. See Synonyms at solve.
To remove or dispel (doubts).
To bring to a usually successful conclusion: resolve a conflict.
Medicine To cause reduction of (an inflammation, for example).
Music To cause (a tone or chord) to progress from dissonance to consonance.
Chemistry To separate (an optically inactive compound or mixture) into its optically active constituents.
To render parts of (an image) visible and distinct.
Mathematics To separate (a vector, for example) into coordinate components.
To melt or dissolve (something).
Archaic To separate (something) into constituent parts.

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Shelley's 2007 Resolutions

Strenghthen my walk with the Lord
Lose weight
Put more work into non-blog writing (which, sadly, means blogging less frequently) UPDATE: I couldn't have put this more eloquently than our dear, little Quossum..."the Taylor Hicks addiction giveth and the Taylor Hicks addiction taketh away." Amen, sister.
Finish the afghan I started crocheting in February 2006
Plant a garden and can the tomatoes I grow
Take Sadie on more walks

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Anyone care to share their resolutions?

Any other weightloss takers who want to work together on this? We can have special posts on this if anyone is interested.

---

My Year in Music

2006-12-31T14:35:00.000-06:00

One of the things I love most about iTunes is the ability to see statistical information about personal use.

Prompted by Gray Charles' recent question regarding which artist besides Taylor Hicks have folks discovered this past year, I decided to investigate who and what I had been listening to from January to December '06.

I first thought of the three full albums I purchased this past year...KT Tunstall's "Eye to the Telescope," John Mayer's "Continuum," and Taylor Hicks' "Taylor Hicks" (of which I actually purchased three copies).

I also thought about all the singles I downloaded (and there were LOTS)...Gnarles Barkley, Ray Lamontagne, The Be Good Tanyas, Nerina Pallot, Regina Spektor, etc...

Instead of trying to remember all the downloading details of the last 12 months, I decided to use my little iTunes options to see EXACTLY what soundtrack I lived by in 2006.

I set my controls to "Play Count" and looked only at songs I added to my music library this past year.

After heavy computation (clicking the mouse exactly thrice)...here is what I learned...

Click image to enlarge

Of course, these aren't all the songs I listened to this past year...just the ones new to my iTunes library in '06 that were played 10 times or more.

It's not surprising that all of the songs I listened to 95 times or more were sung by Taylor Hicks...with "Trouble" being the top played (152 times). But what IS strange to me is that all of the songs in the 95 to 152 range were performed by Taylor during his stint on American Idol. I would have thought some of his live bar performances (pre-AI) or his previously recorded stuff would have been in the upper play count strata...but not so. Curious.

Anyway, KT Tunstall joins Taylor as one of my top listened to artists. Her "Stoppin' the Love" is a top play count for me at a whopping 93 times.

Granted...I discovered both Taylor and KT at the beginning of the year...so these higher play counts make sense.

The real stand out is Nerina Pallot...whose "Sophia" was just added to my music library on Oct. 24 after my friend Peggy sent it to me. My copy of "Sophia" is already up to 67 plays. The song is absolutely beautiful. Download it here.

Another stand-out is "What Have They Done to My Song, Ma" by Melanie Safka. This little gem was sent to me by our dear Shrewspeaks. It's reached a play count of 47 since I added it to my library on Oct. 22. Download it here.

Next to join in the high play-count ranks are Regina Spektor and John Mayer. I have to thank Ash for introducing me to Spektor and thank Double D and NOLAgirl for encouraging me to buy the new Mayer album. Both artists have been so enjoyable to listen to.

Ray Lamontagne and Gnarls Barkley's versions of "Crazy" can be found next wafting between all my Taylor songs. Then comes Dar Williams with "The Christians and the Pagans" and Nikka Costa with "Till I Get to You." I have Gray Charles to thank for introducing me to all these lovelies.

Click image to enlarge

The next artist to appear on my list is Fiona Apple...from some live recordings done in 2002. I don't even remember where I got these songs...but they're great. Here's "Blue Skies" for you to enjoy. I've played it at least 27 times...and still lurve it.

Others that I've really enjoyed (all thanks to Gray)...Robyn Hitchock's "The Wind Cries Mary" (written and first performed by Jimi Hendrix), "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne, "You Are so Beautiful" by Billy Preston, "Jerusalem" and "Tiger Woods" by Dan Bern, and "Untouchable Face" by Ani Difranco. And from my brother Ben..."Multiply" by Jamie Lidell.

Click image to enlarge

Finally, two of my newest favorite artists are The Be Good Tanyas and Hem. If you haven't listened to them...please check them out. They're truly wonderful. Here are "Human Thing" from the Tanyas and "Jackson" by Hem.

I've also put together an iMix (posted below) of selected artists and songs listed on my 2006 Soundtrack. If you have iTunes...buy a song for .99...which, to me, is quite the bargain. If you don't have iTunes...go get it...it's free...and it's wonderful.

All I have to say is...wow...what a great year.

I can't wait to see what new music is in store for me in 2007.

Happy New Year to all my Monkbots! Happy listening and blogging in the year to come.

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The Bigger Picture: A Progressive Story (part 5 added)

2006-12-27T18:50:00.000-06:00

This is a Progressive Story...here's how it works:

Below is a short story I began writing a couple of years ago...then filed away on a back shelf of my computer.

Thanks to comments from Rowan and Mind Doc on Monday, I have pulled it back out and dusted it off in order to offer it as an experiment. (Yes, yet another Monkbot project...am I killin' y'all with these?)

I've provided the basis for a story here...it's up to y'all to finish it.

Take turns...build on what each other writes. I don't know how you'll determine who will go first or next or last, but I'm sure you'll figure it out...maybe call dibs before you begin writing...or first choose an order...whatever.

UPDATED DIRECTIONS: Here is the list of who will be contributing ~~thus far~~...
Double D (Your contribution is below...I lurve it!)

Ivoryhut (You're next up, my friend...just e-mail me your addition after reading DD's below..take your time...no pressure)

~~Bamaborntxbred~~

~~Quossum~~

Mind Doc (You're up next!)

Rowan (Finale)
Each contributor should e-mail their part of the story to monkbottalk@gmail.com. As I receive your additions, I'll repost the story...with the new portion. I'll leave the comments on for kudos or sharing or discussion...~~however, I'm taking the current comments down so we can start fresh.~~

~~Also, if anyone...at anytime...wants to join in...they are welcome and should let me know...so I can put them in the que.~~

Remember...take your time...keep it clean...be creative...and have FUN!

The Bigger Picture
Beginning by Shelley Powers
Middle and Ending by the Monkbots

I was reaching behind the bookshelf in my den, looking for some loose change that had rolled away, when I found them.

My fingertips were covered in dust, and I was patting around blindly for the stray quarters when I brushed against the metal and glass. I pulled the object from behind the bookshelf to see what I’d found and there, staring back at me, was a pair of glasses. They were wire-rimmed and the earpieces were bent into hook shapes. The lenses definitely needed dusting, but there were few scratches. Forgetting about my quarters, I took my new treasure to the sink to clean it up. A little Joy dish soap and voila! Good as new.

They weren't mine. I had never worn glasses. Maybe they belonged to the previous homeowners. I gave them a careful inspection. Shining like new from being cleaned, they were beautiful. The wire rims looked like real gold and the glass had a mesmerizing gleam. Then as I held them up to the light, I noticed the faintest of etching along the inside of the right arm, where the metal flattened out. Written in an exacting script was “We once were lost.”

Creepy, I thought.

Then, like anyone would’ve done, without even thinking, I put the glasses on.

My view was barely changed, save the distortion from the few scratches. Then I felt my pupils contract, like when someone clicks on the overhead light in the middle of the night. A sharp pain ran from my eyeballs to the back of my head as my view of the living room expanded to twice its size. Nothing grew larger. My peripheral vision stayed the same. But somehow everything expanded to where I saw each item in the room in its entirety. Armchairs were fibers woven together with a history of passengers embedded in the work. Books were bound by aging glue and stitching with page after page covered with fingerprints and ink and words and passages and thoughts and emotions. I tried to blink but couldn’t. As if involuntary muscles, my eyes darted from object to object in the room, taking in colors I had never noticed and patterns so detailed I began to get dizzy.

Moving faster than my brain could register, my eyes continued to swirl in my head and I felt myself begin to sway. Fearing that I might faint or get sick, I reached up and snatched the glasses from my face. My pupils dilated and the room seemed to shrink back to its original state. I looked down at the spectacles and realized that these glasses allowed me to see a bigger picture, a picture that I possibly was not meant to see...but one that intrigued me nonetheless...

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The following was contributed by Double D

Raggles bounded into the room with the enthusiasm of a Super Bounce ball. The 3-year-old Jack Russell/Terrier mix that I had “adopted” as a timid, 6-month-old pup had evolved into a rather giddy companion, providing hours of amusement. As I watched him playfully chase a dust bunny near the large picture window in the den that was streaming in the late afternoon sun, my mind and my eyes wandered back to the new find in my hands.

Suddenly, I realized that I still had the splitting headache that the glasses had left me with. Moving into the kitchen, I beckoned Raggles, “C’mon boy, let’s see what we can find for this headache.” Raggles responded with a deft tail-wagging and sauntered off into the kitchen ahead of me.

After popping two Extra-Strength Tylenols and pouring myself a large glass of ice cold milk, I sat on the wrought iron stools at the island in my kitchen and stared at the “magic” glasses. My mind went back to the few moments before when I had had them on and exactly what I had seen. Yes, it was definitely the window to the bigger picture. With some trepidation, I decided to try it again, but this time, slowly.

I slipped the glasses over my nose and onto my closed eyes then slowly opened them. Remembering the dizziness and pain of the previous encounter, I decided to focus on one thing. It happened to be Raggles sitting there, head cocked to one side, staring at me and waiting for our next move.

As I stared at the dog that was so similar to the RCA dog, I began to get an odd feeling… somewhere between freedom and carelessness, like sitting on the beach on a hot summer day with the wind blowing through my hair. My legs felt strong and nimble with no sign of the nagging ache constantly present in my left ankle. I have to admit, I had the strange urge to smell the surroundings around me. Resisting what felt like a basic instinct, I suddenly could see myself sitting there looking at Raggles, as if through his own eyes. It was all a bit kaliediscope-ish yet the curiosity of the experience kept the glasses firmly in place.

Then, without warning, I was overcome by a sadness wrapped in fear. I felt cold and as lonely as I ever felt. It was then that I realized that the familiar ring tone of “Takin’ it to the Streets” by Taylor Hicks was beckoning. I removed the glasses, taking a minute to re-focus with a little less tumultuousness, this time.

“Stevie. Hello?...Is this Stevie?” I heard my mother inquire, in her most agitated voice.

“Mother…yes, it’s me.”

After “discussing” for the umpteenth time how much she hates cell phones and can’t hear people talking on them (all the while screaming into her own speaker phone), we got to the real reason for her call. “Son, I think it’s really a shame that I never see you anymore. I mean, I live all of four miles from you and you haven’t been by since Easter.”

The usual dread of speaking to my mother swept over me and once again, I made excuses then profusely apologized and promised to stop by this weekend. As I punched the red button on my cell phone, I ran through the To Do List that I knew my mother would have ready for me when I got there.

Raggles’ barking brought me back to the glasses. I tried to link my experience back to the subject that I was looking at through the spectacles. Then, illumination! I was experiencing the bigger picture of Raggles. I remembered how I had found him at the shelter, a shy and tired-looking older puppy. The attendant at the shelter had told me that Raggles had been found down by the docks and had evidently been on his own for a while, scavenging through dumpsters and relying on the kindness of the dock workers sharing their lunches. The sensations that I had while staring at Raggles through the glasses were, in fact, the essence of Raggles.

My mother’s voice played back in my head. Now, for the real test. I had long struggled to understand the causes of my mother’s bitterness and lack of attachment to anything, particularly her children. Could these help me “know” her? See her bigger picture?

I decided that it was worth a try. I went to the Rite-Aid around the corner and bought a $4 case to put the glasses in to prevent any further scratching. Then I placed the case on the bookshelf in the den to wait for my visit to my mother’s on Saturday. For once, in a very long time, I was actually excited about seeing my mother....

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The following was contributed by Ivoryhut

The week went by in a blur. They had been painting the office over the weekend, and I walked in at eight in the morning to the wonderful stench of stale paint. Having gotten used to the smell, it wasn’t until the ten o’clock coffee break that we noticed something was amiss. Maybe it was the slight hint of turpentine flavor in the uncovered breakfast muffins that gave it away, but after some coaxing, we finally got the office manager to look into it. So it turns out that a dying furnace smells like cheap polyurethane.

They closed the office for the day, but with project reports fast approaching, I headed to the local library to get some work done while repairs were underway. The musty odor of forgotten books was a welcome one, and called to mind many happy rainy afternoons spent lost in a mystery book, or imagining the alien sounds and textures of a faraway culture brought to life by the fiction writers I idolized. I was hit by a sudden surge of nostalgia. When was the last time I lost myself in a book like that? Before I could even begin thinking back, the library assistant returned with a foot-high stack of old periodicals that I had requested. By the time I finally looked up, neck stiff and fingers gray with old ink, it was already dark outside.

The rest of the days were spent catching up on work I should have finished the month before. I can never develop the kind of discipline that gets things ahead of time. I’m always doing the mad rush to meet deadlines. Oh well. Now’s not the time to start hearing my mother’s voice in my head. It was Thursday night, and I had exactly 10 hours to put together a 20-page report on the securities industry. Just thinking about it was boring enough.

Raggles sat by me as I typed away at the keyboard. Poor boy. I hadn’t played with him all week, and even missed giving him the usual special Wednesday dinner treat because I was held up at the office. I made a mental note to spend some extra time with him at the park tomorrow after work. I could use the break myself.

I dragged myself out of bed Friday morning, thinking only about handing in the report and killing time until a decent hour to leave the office and start my weekend. Raggles seemed to have sensed it too, because he stood by the kitchen entrance as I gave him a goodbye scratch on the head, and as I turned back one more time before shutting the door, I saw his old tennis ball by his paws, all ready for the afternoon of playtime.

The day crawled its way to five o’clock, and wouldn’t you know it, I got a call at 4:30 p.m. to make “just a few minor revisions” to the report. Of course, it had to be done right away. So the 5 p.m. exit turned into an 8 p.m. exit, and their offer of dinner charged to the company had me thinking of 10-pound lobsters and porterhouse steaks just for spite. As I was shutting off my monitor with thoughts of gastronomical revenge, the phone rang. What now, I thought. This better not more last-minute revision requests on the report, or I’m throwing in two soufflés in the mix. “Steve Barraud,” I answered in a slightly irritated voice, impatient to head home.

“Stevie? It’s you mother. I called you at home but there was no answer. I just wanted to remind you to please bring your tool box with you when you come over this weekend. You’re still coming, right? Or did you forget?”

“No, mother, I didn’t forget,” I lied. Darn. There goes my plan to spend the weekend with Raggles doing nothing. And I already missed our afternoon at the park today. “I’ll be there with my tools. Call me at home if you remember anything else, I’m heading out the door now.”

The familiar dread of an uncomfortable weekend washed over me as I prepared to leave, and by reflex, I started going through possible excuses to postpone it for the following week. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her, just not this weekend. Not after the week I just had. Reaching into my pocket for my car keys, I felt a crumpled piece of paper and pulled it out. It was a Rite-Aid receipt for $4, and I suddenly remembered the glasses! Suddenly the dread was no more, and the excitement returned.

I walked out to an empty parking lot and spotted my lonely car in the distance, the section where late arrivers are banished to so they can suffer the trek to the building entrance and clock in even later. Thoughts of what it would be like to see my mother through the glasses occupied my mind, and it wasn’t until I was halfway to my car that I noticed the sound.

I turned back, but saw nothing. I continued walking, and there it was again. Faint, and, deliberately now, in step with mine. Before I could turn back, I heard it. Stop. A whispered word that floated through the night air to reach my ears. Turning around, the glare of a lamp post suddenly coming to life caught me off guard. At once the light was gone again, and in its place stood a woman. Instinctively, I raised my hand to greet her, like a long-lost friend. Puzzling, this instant recognition that came out of nowhere. Piercing sad eyes and a velvet voice were all I could seize of her, and then she was gone. I looked around once more, and saw nothing.

Morning found me slumped in my bed, half-dreaming of my strange parking lot sighting. There was something strangely familiar about her. Or was it the voice? The sun was streaming through the blinds, and I pulled the blanket closer. Was it real, or did I dream it all? That’s it, no more going a whole week on three nights of rest every night. I must have crashed as soon as I got home. Must remember I’m not a college kid anymore. I bet all this stress and lack of sleep is causing my mind to play tricks on me.

Flinging the sheets from the bed, I remembered Raggles. As excited as I was to see my mother through the magic glasses, I knew I had to spend the morning with my buddy. Careful not to trip over the books and coffee cups charted across the fleecy gray carpet that stank of a week’s worth of takeout food, I stepped into the bathroom to get ready for the day...

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The following was contributed by Bamaborntxbred

It is funny how one, seemingly insignificant decision, can change your life forever. This morning I woke to an overloaded schedule at a dead end job, an overbearing mother, and a grim outlook on my future. I couldn’t have imagined how much everything would change in the course of a few hours.

I was 3 years old the day my father and 12-year old brother died. They were on the family’s private jet as it went down during a winter storm. During my childhood, I overheard nannies and other servant’s gossip about what happened that day. My mother and father had fought over her controlling nature and she refused to go on the planned holiday vacation. My brother elected to go with my father while she kept me home with her. After their deaths she became even more controlling and reclusive, refusing even to go their funerals. I became the center of her universe. My childhood was spent inside the bounds of our estate in New Hampshire. The only other people I ever knew were the servants and the endless succession of nannies and teachers.

When I turned 18, I left the walls of our estate to enter Stanford. I had hoped that crossing the country to go to college would give me opportunities to meet new people…and the space I desired from my mother. I never really knew how attached she was until she announced that she would be moving into a home near the university. Still, I counted it something of a victory to be living in the dorms, amongst my peers.

Now, years later, we still live in California, with only a few miles between us.

Lately, I‘ve felt that the walls of my life were closing in on me. I’m 34 years old and I have never seen anything remarkable, been anywhere inspiring. I still jump at every beck and call of my mother. I am consumed with a job I took only because I never dared to dream of anything bigger. I didn’t hurt for material things, but I had long ago tired of amusing myself with shallow pursuits.

It was these thoughts, spinning in my head, which caused me to make the decision I made that fateful day. The stress of being overworked, the fear of living the rest of my days as a drone, and quite frankly, a desire to spend some time with the curious glasses I had found, drove me to pick up the phone this morning and call a local handyman service. Once I arranged to have them help my mother with her demands, I called her and told her that I would not be coming to her house this weekend. I explained to her that I was tired of being her little boy and that she shouldn’t “count on me” any longer. We both needed a separation. She cried, and wheedled, but I stood my ground and eventually, I hung up. “Goodbye, Mother,” I said to myself. We’d had this conversation many times before, but somehow I knew this time was different. On this day, I would make a change.

“So, now what?” I asked Raggles. He cocked his head to the left and looked at me curiously. “Well, boy, I think we should start with a game of fetch!” After playing with Raggles for a few hours, I couldn’t put off the lure of the glasses any longer. “I’ll be back in a little while, boy!” Raggles was worn out and didn’t seem to mind my leaving. I knew exactly where I was headed; the library.

An idea was forming in my mind, and I had to know if what I suspected was right. I was a little fearful, but feeling so hopeless about life and so starved for adventure, I decided the risk was worth finding out.

I entered the library and headed straight for the section where my favorite author’s books were housed in. Marcus Noble wasn’t a conventional author, but his fiction seemed to be written for me alone. Although he didn’t write serial novels, the same character was featured in every book. A boy named Voyager. A boy that had endless adventures and a carefree, daring attitude about life. As a child I imagined I was Voyager, fighting dragons and walking with giants to find the edge of the world.

I picked up the first novel written by Noble, “Traverse the Horizon.” I found a deserted area on the third floor of the library, opened the book to the first page, and put the glasses on.

Swoosh! A massive bird flew within inches of my face. “What,” I cried, “was that?” Swoosh! The bird flew past me again. Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted off the ground. The huge bird had me in its talons and was swiftly rising up toward the clouds. Normally, I would’ve reacted to a situation like this, as most people would, with utter fear and confusion. But, somehow I knew the bird was a friend rather than a foe and I was filled with exhilaration. “Woohoo!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

The bird, spoke: “That was too close. Next time I might not be around to pluck you out of one of your scrapes.”

“Atmos, you don’t know what you’re saying!” I cried. “That Cyclops didn’t know what hit him! I had to test my new slingshot on something you know!”

“Yes, well, if I hadn’t gotten there when I did,” said Atmos, “the Cyclops behind you would be picking his teeth with your bones right about now.”

“Oh! Um, well, I uh, knew that he was behind me. I had it all under control. But, you know, thanks anyway.” I managed to mumble.

“Humph!” groused Atmos.

It was a peculiar feeling. Not to be flying through the air in the talons of a giant bird, but to be aware of both worlds at once. I knew I was still me, Stephen Newman…and yet I was beginning to realize that what I hoped for was actually true; the glasses had transported me into the world of Voyager. More than that, I was Voyager….

We quickly arrived at our destination; The Breathing Forest and Atmos’ nest. “You can sleep here tonight. Tomorrow you must begin the journey that Empress Sarai has commissioned you for,” said Atmos.

“I do need a rest. I’ve never been to the horizon before and I’m afraid it’s going to be quite an adventure,” I yawned. I was tired and the nest was lined with warm down and soft grasses from the floor of the forest. I snuggled next to Atmos and began drifting off to sleep.

I opened my eyes to find that I was back in the little corner of the library. I quickly removed the glasses feeling stunned and exhilarated by what I had discovered. Glancing at my watch I realized that only seconds had passed from when I put the glasses on. From when I began my fantastic journey as Voyager.

The enormity of what could be experienced through theses magical glasses was beginning to dawn on me. I could be Voyager. I could be anyone! My mind was whirling. Should I take all the Noble books home? Should I take history books, too? I had always been a student of history and felt compelled to use the glasses to experience history first hand. However, as I was to learn, it is one thing to enter a fictional world, quite another to enter the past. I trembled with excitement and fear.

How could I know that my life would be changing forever?

You see, I met the love of my life today. And it is the epitome of misfortune that she no longer exists. In fact, she died many years ago…as an old woman in the winter of 1908….

to be continued….

---

The following was contributed by Quossum

I hastily gathered the next three Voyager books and then made my way to the 900 section, almost running into one of the staff who was directing workers hanging quilts throughout the library for a special display. Perusing the stacks, I was struck with dismay by the sheer number of books detailing wars, often battle by battle. It occurred to me that human history consisted mainly of bloodshed. Though the travails of the past did interest me, a sobering thought struck me: Did I dare use the glasses to witness the past?

They caused one to see the inner sense of something, its bigger picture, so to speak. In the Voyager books, the glasses had acted as a virtual reality device and let me experience things that had not and could not actually happen. If I read a history book...would I actually travel in time? Would I be there, at the time and place described? If the glasses allowed me to travel in time...I shuddered. A diet of science fiction stories decrying the insidious nature of the paradoxes and destruction that time travel could wreck gave me serious pause.

There were nicer aspects of the past, too, I reflected, glancing at an antique blue and white quilt hung on the wall near me, times when human beings had shown endurance and nobility in the face of difficulty...but did I want to take a chance that I could screw things up?

Shaking my head resolutely, I took the three books in my arms to the checkout desk and headed home.

Raggles greeted me with typical Jack Russel enthusiasm, bounding against my legs and almost managing to bop me on the chin with his highest leaps. Laughing, I couldn’t deny him a few more tosses of the ol’ tennis ball before finally settling down and fixing us some supper: a sandwich and Coke for me, a chicken leg quarter for him. We ate in companionable silence, though my mind was churning with anticipation.

I had been touched by something otherworldly, something that shouldn’t even exist. Something straight from the Voyager novels I enjoyed so much. I was ready to enter that world again. No history, no deep thoughts, no moral dilemmas, just simple escapism.

At least, that’s what I thought.

Settling comfortably in my chair, the book on my lap, I opened it and, taking a deep breath, put the glasses on.

Again I was immersed into Voyager’s world...again I was Voyager.

Atmos and I swooped through the sky in pursuit of the chimeras who had stolen Queen Sarai’s Jewel of Office.

“Here we go again!” said Atmos. “Couldn’t we have been a little less successful at defeating that Trogledale last year?”

“Oh, Atmos!” I cried, the wind stinging my eyes, my hands buried in his warm, light feathers. “You know you love this!”

Atmos squawked something unintelligible but possibly rude in response, and I laughed. “Maybe this time...“

And suddenly, with an abruptness that completely stole my breath, I was elsewhere.

I stood in a small bedroom lit only by the yellow glow of a bedside oil lamp and the soft light radiating from a small fireplace in one wall. The rush of wind was gone, replaced by a thick and heavy silence; the only sound was an intermittent pop from the fire, which lent only a little warmth to the chilly room, and the sound of ragged breathing from the figure in the bed.

Blinking, shaking my head, I stumbled, almost falling to the wooden planks of the floor. The person on the bed stirred.

It was a woman, very old, face wreathed in lines, surrounded by deep layers of quilts and dwarfed by the huge pillows supporting her in a half-sitting position. On her lap lay an open journal, a fountain pen on the quilt beside her apparently having fallen from her fingers.

Her eyes met mine. “Stephen!” she breathed.

I stepped back. Everything about her reverberated within me, as if her voice had plucked a single chord deep within me. I couldn’t breathe. “How...how...“ was all I could manage, my voice sounding rough in the quiet room.

The woman didn’t rise, but her eyes were alight with more than the gleam from the lamplight, golden on her unbound silver hair. “Oh, Stephen,” she said. “It is true. Your first, my last. It’s true.”

“Am I...is this real?” I said, even as I spoke feeling my self in this room. Not as Voyager. As me. “I’m really here? You can see me?”

A dry chuckle. “See you, Stephen. Hear you. Feel you.” She stretched out a hand.

Cautiously I stepped forward. My fingers trembled as they moved toward hers, though my gaze did not leave her face, her eyes.

Our fingers touched. My hand enveloped hers...her soft, smooth skin, the bones like a bird’s bones in her frail hand. Her eyes closed, and when they opened again, they were bright with tears. “Oh, Stephen,” she said, and with her words I knew that she knew me, deeply.

I moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand. “Who are you?” I whispered, searching her face for some feature I would recognize.

“Oh, love,” she said, her voice colored with despair, “you yourself told me it would be this way. That I would see you one more time, and that you wouldn’t know me. But Stephen...oh I know you. I know you. I’ve missed you. My heart.”

I shook my head, unable to speak. She blinked, one tear escaping and running down her soft, lined cheek. “I didn’t realize how much this would hurt.”

Instinctively I lifted my hand to brush the tear from that silky cheek, and she caught my hand with her free hand. “I am Lily Jordan, Stephen. Lily Jordan. You told me to tell you to look for me. You told me to tell you that this time. This last time.”

“I will,” I said, speaking through a dry throat. “But where should I look?”

She shook her head. “That I can’t tell you, love. You have magics in your world. Magics I can’t begin to comprehend.” With one finger she touched the earpiece of the glasses.

“Can’t you give me a...a starting point?” I asked, already desperate with desire for what I had to do, what I knew I must do.

“Your starting point,” she said, “is the knowledge that you were successful. Oh, Stephen!” she cried, clutching my hand in both of hers. “I tried for all those years to reach your world, to reach you. There was once, when I thought I had pierced the veil between us. I thought I saw you. I told...“ she stopped. “But I mustn’t. It’s too late for me. That time is gone now. My time is gone. But yours for us, love, is only beginning.” Her eyes were on my face, eager and bittersweet, absorbing my every feature.

I didn’t know what to say. I could only look at her. I didn’t know her, I was sure of that, and yet...everything about her called to me, to an inner part of me that I hadn’t known existed. “Lily,” I said, tasting her name, savoring it.

She closed her eyes again. Her breathing was labored. “That’s what I wanted,” she said, “to hear my name from your mouth one more time. Just once more.” She pulled a deep, shuddering breath that seemed to rattle to the core of her. “And now,” she said, “I must finish this, so that you’ll find me.” She gestured to the journal on the quilt over her lap and picked up the fountain pen. It had leaked dark ink onto the blue and white quilt, but Lily didn’t seem to notice. “You...you can leave now, Stephen. I don’t want you to see this...this ending.”

“No, Lily,” I said. “Please...tell me a little more, give me some more hints...a clue! I can’t find you if I don’t know where to look!”

“You will find me,” she said. “You did.” Her smile was unbelievably tender. Then she reached up and took the glasses from my face.

“No!”

I was back in my living room, the glasses lying on the open book before me. Raggles stood looking at me quizzically.

Desperately, my eyes flew to the open book. There, in between the pages of the novel, was a loose sheet, obviously torn from a bound journal. It was yellowed with age and the words on it had been written in fountain pen, in a neat though shaky script. I had turned the page in the Voyager book and my eyes had fallen on this! Without the glasses on, I read the page:

This the last words from the pen and trembling hand of Lily Jordan, on the day of my dying at 90 years old in the year of our Lord 1908.

The day we met, me at the age of 30, my love and my heart, Stephen Newman, did tell me that he would return to me on the day of my death, and that he would not then know me. The testimony of these pages declares the many efforts I made to bring us together before that could occur.

Now his words have come to fulfillment, and I can die in peace, though God knows I would that there could be a different end to our story for me. I know what I must do now, and what I must ask of Marcus, though he will little understand. So in my ending I set in motion the forces that will bring you to me, Stephen, my love, my heart. I hope that you will find our time together worthwhile...as I did, Stephen.

Forevermore Yours

It was signed with a stylized drawing of a lily.

I stood, the paper clutched in my trembling fingers, my head pounding with the accustomed headache brought on by the use of the glasses. I had to find Lily Jordan. I didn’t care what she’d said...once I was with her, I would never leave. I had to find the journal from which this page had been torn, read it with the glasses on, and reach her. I had to get that journal into my hands.

But how?

To be continued...

---

Merry Christmas to All

2006-12-25T00:00:00.000-06:00

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Happy Holidays to All

2006-12-23T13:33:00.000-06:00

Much love to all my Monkbots.

Posts will be scarce over the next week as I'm visiting with family over Christmas.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season.

You're all in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.

Shelley

---

It's Shake and Bake...and I Helped

2006-12-22T15:01:00.000-06:00

Gray is selling new "Modern Whomp" t-shirts to promote his site.

And guess who created the design?

ME!

So...go buy some.

(I'll be working on a new design this weekend...so be sure to check back later, too.)

Merry Christmas.

---

Hooray for Hollybot!

2006-12-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

Traveling Monkbot Journeys to Hollywood

Text and Photos by Mind Doc
Photography Assistant: Mr. Doc

I was just about to send Monkbot on his merry way, when I realized that I was scheduled to work at a clinic that is near Hollywood later in the week. I was struck by the Monkbot potential in this visit. Shelley gave permission for me to take the little feller for a ride and so off we went to Hollywood. Before the Hollywood visit, I was at another clinic and found this great view.

I do not know much about the dinosaurs, but I seem to remember at least one of them being in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. The thematic requirement fulfilled, Monkbot poses in the freezing wind just long enough to get the shot, but avoid getting eaten. The website says, “From the interstate highway, the uncommon view of two giant dinosaurs, on an arid plain surrounded by mountains, is an irresistible magnet. But tourists are not the only ones compelled to stop. Well within L.A.'s convenient day-drive sphere, the Cabazon dinos became media darlings in the 1980s, appearing in everything from Coke commercials to rock videos to the film "Pee Wee's Big Adventure." They were built by Claude Bell, who ran the Wheel Inn on I-10. Claude took 11 years to build Dinny, a giant apatosaurus and arguably the largest dinosaur in America.”

I like that there is a giant slide built into the T-Rex’s tail, a fact that I did not know.

After work, I go to Hollywood, which is a short drive away. Mr. Doc volunteers to help out with the photos, as my previous photo-partner is in Scotland. The first stop is the famed Hollywood sign.

This was a remarkably tough shot to get. Too far away and there were scads of telephone wires and lethal traffic (the best shots were from the middle of busy streets). Too close and there were damned trees and hills. A helpful dog-walker suggested a vantage point and voila!

If there is one landmark that says "Hollywood" to the world - literally! - it is the famous Hollywood Sign, perched high atop Mount Lee, the tallest peak in L.A. The sign measures 450 feet long, its mammoth letters are 45 feet high, and it's visible from all parts of Hollywood. Erected in 1923 as an advertising sign for a real estate development in Beachwood Canyon, the sign originally read "Hollywoodland." The last four letters were removed in 1945, after Hollywood had become the world's movie capital, and the sign had already become a well-known landmark. (In fact, it's been officially declared "Los Angeles Cultural-Historical Monument #111.")

Who knew that they have a webcam?

We figure we have enough time to get another couple of shots. The next stop is the Kodak Theater, where the American Idol finale was held. It is situated right next to Mann’s Chinese Theater and is on the Walk of Fame.

Finally, we stop at the CBS Studios, where the American Idol television show was taped. Imagine a long queue of people waving Soul Patrol and Taylor Hicks signs, laughing and thoroughly enjoying themselves. We are shooed off – sheesh! No pictures are allowed to be taken on the property, by edict of the gate guard. I believe him to be a fascist. I back off to the driveway. The gate guard looks at me suspiciously, and I wonder nervously if they have tazers in the guard shack. I retreat to the van. We quickly get the shot, with little or no finesse. (insert whispered conversation consisting of “hurry! Just get it out of the window! I am, I am!”)

So, Monkbot is off to his next destination, antenna and visor intact. Not even scratched. The bubble wrap is looking a little tattered, though. Fond regards from this faction of the Monkbot Division.

Signing off!!

Woo Hooo!!! Five thousand Monkbot points to Rowan, Mind Doc, and Mr. Doc for all their hard work and sacrifice! This was a GREAT installment of Traveling Monkbot!

FYI...Traveling Monkbot has ALREADY reached his new foster home. Who has him? What will happen?

To be continued...

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Please, Stop Me from Doing This

2006-12-21T13:48:00.000-06:00

After getting little-to-no sleep last night...I'm really punchy, folks.

I just got the e-mail from "Taylor Hicks" about voting for the Soul Patroller with the most soul (see above image).

Um...does anyone else but me think this is a HORRIBLE idea?

Don't these marketing people read the boards? Don't they see...and quake at...the back-biting and ugliness?

Why on earth do they want to promote MORE competition within the walls of the Soul Patrol? More petty jealousies? More snarkiness? More division?

This cannot end up well.

As my own small way of protesting this and showing the utter ridiculousness of the project, I want...oh so badly...to post this as my image...

Please talk me out of this and save me from myself.

I pray I get sleep tonight. I really need it.

---

It's 1 A.M. and I Can't Sleep...

2006-12-21T01:01:00.000-06:00

So, I'm surfing YouTube because it's windy outside and Sadie is barking at the drop of every pine cone and leaf.

And I found another fine vid of the guy who brought us this classic.

For whatever reason...this also impressed the crud out of me.

And then I watched this response video to the one above and sat slack-jawed. But the best part is to go to the page this video is on and read the responses.

Please...in the name of all that's good and right in the world...let me get some sleep.

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As Someone Who Has Played This Song a Gazillion Times...

2006-12-21T00:00:00.001-06:00

This totally cracked me up. I dedicate this post to my brothers, Beau, Ben, and Coop...who have all played bass clef.

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Traveling Monkbot Journeys to Dundee

2006-12-21T00:00:00.000-06:00

Please follow my train of thought behind the above video.

I was going to post a picture of Desperate Dan, since Traveling Monkbot is pictured below with his statue in Dundee. However, in my search for just the right image, I came across this picture and realized there was a group called Lieutenant Pigeon who had recorded a song called "Desperate Dan." (There is also a band called Desperate Dan...but they weren't as much fun.)

So, I went to YouTube in search of Lieutenant Pigeon and came across the video above for their song "Good-bye," but no "Desperate Dan" video.

But it really wouldn't have mattered. Within the first 10 seconds of the above video...I was laughing hysterically and had absolutely no choice but to post it.

Anyway...on to what matters...

Monkbot Makes It to Dundee
Text by Rowan
Photos by Mind Doc

Dundee I: This photo shows Monkbot perched cheekily on the rolled up comic book belonging to local hero, Desperate Dan. Dundee, which sits on the banks of the river Tay, is the home of the D.C. Thomson publishing house, responsible for a myriad of high-profile comics in Scotland, and the UK. Dan first appeared in the Dandy comic in 1938. Although he is a tough son of the Wild West, his Cactusville landscape is thinly veiled as Dundee. The city of Dundee had this very large bronze tribute to Dan set up in the city square a few years back, as he has been the delight of generations of local comic readers. I am sending the link to the Dundee webcam, where you can see him in situ.

In this photo, Desperate Dan wears a deeply pissed expression, as he has noticed a small interloper having the temerity to hitch a ride on his latest issue, which he is speeding home to read, along with his lunch of cow pie. This contained a whole be-pastried cow with the horns left sticking out. Childhood memories return, of wishing for a slice of cow pie!

This photo shows Monkbot in the railway station, perched on the windowsill of the station bar, which offers "anti-freeze solutions" to frostbitten travellers stamping their numb toes on the platform. Those like myself, a bit suspicious of fellow-travellers who indulge in alcohol-fests during the daytime, hang around outside and take pictures of the bar's auspicious name. Perhaps Tay Tay himself will grace it with his presence, order a beer, and answer the time-honoured local greeting at this time of year, "Gie wiz a sang, laddie."

Here is Monkbot perched amongst the penguins outside the impressive City Churches building, which houses the lovely Steeple Church. There has been a church on the site since the Twelvth Century, and part of the original tower still exists.

Monkbot is jiggling along in the company of a string of bronze penguins, part of the extended metaphor of Dundee as the "City of Discovery." Famous polar explorer and scientist Captain Robert Falcon Scott had his ship "Discovery" built in Dundee, and it stands anchored in the harbour now, visited by tourists entranced by his tale of unfeasibly "gung-ho" British bravado and ill-fated "derring-do." This led to him freezing to death in a tent in an Antarctic snowstorm in 1904. He took ponies.. they sunk into the snow, and the guys hauled the sledges themselves...Brrr. No duck-down and microfibre for them, just hand-knitted balaclavas and ex-army parkas. The Norwegian rival Amundsen, who got to the South Pole first, and home safely, used Husky dogs. Hmmmm.

Anyways...the 1940s film, "Scott of the Antarctic" is one of my all-time faves. The composer Ralph Vaughan Williams wrote a breathtaking score, "Sinfonia Antarctica" to accompany it.

Will Traveling Monkbot make it back to the U.S.? Will he ever be the same since he's become a world traveler? Where is his next destination?

To be continued...

Seriously...y'all didn't think I was going let us leave Scotland without a little BCR, did ya?

---

Find Me and Follow Me...Traveling Monkbot Makes His Way to Edinburgh

2006-12-20T00:00:00.000-06:00

In honor of Traveling Monkbot making it to Scotland...a little Franz Ferdinand.

Edinburgh – The Jewel in Scotland’s Crown
Text and Photos by Mind Doc
Photography Assistant: Rowan

I had heard many times of how beautiful Edinburgh is. It truly is – it is lovely and has an intimate feel to it. It has been described as one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, and I would have to agree.

However, the first stop was more mundane than sublime. Off of Princes’ Street are these small alleys where there are pubs and small shops. We ducked in for lunch at Oliver’s and enjoyed a hot, inexpensive pub lunch. There is nothing like hot soup
and steak pie on a cold afternoon.

Steak and Guiness Pie with chips and soup. Yum! Note the tomato ketchup and the brown sauce. I have not figured out what it exactly is -- Rowan says that it is a staple to put on chips. It has tamarind in it. Interesting taste...I was going to ask the rather strapping young men hanging around the pub to pose with Monkbot, but I was afraid that Rowan would literally have expired from embarrassment.

Edinburgh is a great city to wander around in. Monkbot seemed to have some spiritual affinity for the place, and it was easy to see why...

This is a picture outside of Waverly Station. It is one of the main train stations in the city. As we came out of the station, we could hear bagpipes playing. This is the piper. Behind him, you can make out the city skyline a bit. The skyline is fairy-tale beautiful. You can just make out Edinburgh Castle to the right. It is perched atop the highest point in the city. Formidable, indeed.

The National Gallery of Scotland was surprising. It is small, but mighty. It is home to Scotland's greatest collection of European paintings and sculpture from the Renaissance to Post-Impressionism periods, and is one of the very finest galleries of its size in the world. It opened to the public in 1859. There were pieces by Van Dyck Gauguin, Velázquez, El Greco, Titian, and Raphael. Botticelli's Virgin Adoring the Sleeping Christ Child was literally breathtaking. Rembrandt’s self-portrait was a complete surprise. I think that is what I will remember about the gallery – it is
remarkably unassuming. You just walk around the corner and there is something that makes you stop in your tracks – awestruck.

Edinburgh Castle puts to rest all the ideas of fairy tale castles. It looks like a fortress – you can see why the castle never fell. Apparently, it has surrendered because the defenders ran out of food, but never was taken by force. It is massive. It looks like a stone dragon, perched on a crag. The guard at Edinburgh Castle was initially a bit concerned about letting us perch a monkey on the wall – in fact, she looked at us with a jaundiced eye. She soon got into the spirit of the adventure and suggested a much better view, which you see here.

Here is Monkbot at the cannons. At one o’clock each afternoon a cannon fires (but not one of these) – these are just your standard repel-the-invader cannons.

This is the Scottish National War Memorial. We could not take pictures inside, but I liked the outside as well. When you come around the corner and see it, you are immediately struck with the stern beauty of the architecture. I was almost scared to go inside, because it is very solemn.

So, Monkbot made it through to the UK in one piece, despite the fact that I was questioned by customs each and every time regarding why I had a robotic monkey in my bag. I was airy about it, as if everyone does it. Why WOULDN’T I be carrying a cymbal-crashing, antenna-wearing monkey? It seemed to work. I found this attitude to be very helpful in general and recommend it highly to anyone who takes the next leg of the journey.

Tomorrow...on to Dundee...(which, incidentally, is the name of Shelley's first dog...a beautiful male collie)

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London Calling...Traveling Monkbot Jumps the Pond

2006-12-19T00:01:00.000-06:00

When we last left our intrepid little Traveling Monkbot...he was stranded in the Atlanta airport with some suspicious-looking primates. Read on to see if he made the leap across the pond to the UK.

London, Baybee, London
Text and Photos by Mind Doc

(Click on any image to enlarge)

London is a great city. Rowan and I hit Heathrow and found it really easy to navigate. The Underground has a station right there in the terminal. It is about an hour by train to our first destination, Bloomsbury.

This is the famous Fleet Street, home of publishing and journalism. Fleet Street is named after the Fleet River, one of the many rivers that now flow beneath London's streets to the Thames. Running eastward from the Strand toward Ludgate Hill and St. Paul’s, Fleet Street was once synonymous with Britain's national daily and Sunday newspapers. Monkbot seemed perfectly at home here.

The playwrights William Shakespeare and Ben Jonson were once patrons at the old Mitre Tavern, now No. 37 Fleet Street. Samuel Pepys and Dr. Samuel Johnson drank at the Devil's Tavern, at No. 1, and Dr. Johnson was also a regular of the most famous of Fleet Street's taverns, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. Parts of this building, set on the corner with Wine Office Court, date back to 1667, when the tavern was rebuilt after the Great Fire. It is one of the few pubs in London to have retained the 18th century arrangement of small rooms with fireplaces, tables and benches. Dr. Johnson's association with "the Cheese" made the tavern a place of pilgrimage for many 19th century literary figures including Mark Twain and Charles Dickens.

A wander through the streets of London leads to St. Paul’s Cathedral.

A Cathedral dedicated to St Paul has overlooked the City of London since 604 AD, a constant reminder to this great commercial centre of the importance of the spiritual side of life. The current Cathedral – the fourth to occupy this site – was designed by the court architect Sir Christopher Wren and built between 1675 and 1710 after its predecessor was destroyed in the Great Fire of London. Its architectural and artistic importance reflect the determination of the five monarchs who oversaw its building that London’s leading church should be as beautiful and imposing as their private palaces.

As the Cathedral of the capital city, St Paul’s is the spiritual focus for the nation. This is where people and events of overwhelming importance to the country have been celebrated, mourned and commemorated since the first service took place in 1697.

This is a view from the back of the Cathedral – St. Paul’s Churchyard, I think. I have looked and looked to see what it is called. Suffice it to say, the lions are fab. The cathedral is to your left and what looks like a smaller chapel to your right.

Off to the Tower of London …

I don’t know what I expected – but I guess I thought that the Tower would be …um … a tower. It is more like a compound.

Monkbot was persuaded to pose with a Beefeater (who was a great guide, btw), but this picture had more gravitas, it seems. The Jewel House, unsurprisingly, houses the Crown Jewels. Let’s just say that there were some big, big sparkley jewels there. Scepters for everyone!

This view is leaving the Tower. You can see the Tower Bridge (Rowan’s favorite) in the background. We had to fend off the famous Ravens of the Tower to get the shot, as they seemed really interested in Monkbot. They kept looking at him with their beady bird eyes, covetously, I thought. Seven ravens are in permanent residence in the Tower of London; their wings are clipped, so they can't fly away. A superstition from the time of Charles II claims that when there are no longer ravens in the Tower, both the White Tower and the kingdom will fall.

A final shot of the Tower Bridge. You can see that it is getting cold and dark, even though it is only about three in the afternoon. Rowan just about froze in place as I got the shot. She might have started to make pathetic sounds right about now, but I was determined to get the best shot.

Next stop, Edinburgh!

Will Traveling Monkbot have to fend off more ravens? Will he bring home a hunky Beefeater to marry Shelley?

Tune in tomorrow...

The More Things Change...The More I Get Upset

2006-12-18T20:13:00.000-06:00

I'm an adult. Gone are the days of my youth. My time in the sun has passed and made way for a new generation to enjoy their carefree and fun years.

But, dammit, I hate that!

And what I hate even more is when something I loved as a kid is practically bastardized in order to market people who weren't even born when Diana and Charles wed...or when the Challenger exploded...or when MTV was cool.

A few weeks back, I Googled Holly Hobbie (I can't even remember why...probably for some image to include in an e-mail or to make a point or something)...anyway, instead of the sweet, demure, bonneted, subtle Holly Hobbie of my youth (my cousin even had the board game)...I came across this. Sure, it's still sweet...but it's not Holly Hobbie.

I mean...what on earth was wrong with keeping her looking like an extra from "Little House on the Prairie"? Wasn't that the whole point? She wasn't "modern" when I was a kid...why should she be now?

Anyway...I didn't make mention of it then (or maybe I did...I don't remember)...but I had to bring it up today since I found an article about the modernization of two other iconic characters...Betty and Veronica.

I realize these characters have been around for 60 years and that this isn't their first makeover. But I think it's their worst.

Click on the image at the top of this post to enlarge it. Notice how the earlier renditions of Betty and Veronica were simple and clean...the new image (on the right) looks like Betty and Veronica meet Aeon Flux.

I really am unhappy about this. (However, Archie has received an update, too...and he is looking FINE, which is also pretty disturbing because his appeal was never his looks.)

So, to celebrate the Betty and Veronica from the days of Yore...I found this little clip. Oddly enough, Taylor Hicks makes a cameo appearance about midway in. I think they must have filmed this in a mall during Easter.

And for those of you who didn't know, the original "Sugar Sugar" actually wasn't recorded by a band of cartoon characters...it was recorded by our very own Gray Charles and his brothers, John, George, and Ringo. Be sure to note the nifty ear monitors. Oh...and watch at the end when Gray pulls a total Milli Vanilli.

I love the hair, Gray...you sexy beast.

Sorry for the random "Be careful who you trust" clip at the end. I guess it means we shouldn't trust Gray...but then, with those lapels and that polyester suit...why SHOULD we trust him?

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Traveling Monkbot Goes to Vegas, Baby...Vegaaaaassss!

2006-12-18T00:00:00.001-06:00

Prepare yourselves, folks, this week we gots lots of travel shots from our furry little friend.

In the past few weeks, Mind Doc has schlepped him practically around the world and back, capturing the adventure along the way.

Documentation of this leg of the trip begins in Las Vegas...

Starting Out

Text and Photos by Mind Doc

Once upon a time, I went to a website – graycharles.com.

While I was there, I made many new friends.

I made a friend who lives in Scotland, and she invited me to come and visit her sometime. The planets aligned, I got a great airfare and time off of work, and so off to Scotland I went. Life is funny, sometimes.

When I heard about the Traveling Monkbot Project, I asked Shelley if she thought that Traveling Monkbot would like to go to the UK, and she allowed as she thought that he would.

There was a great amount of discussion about whether to carry TM on or pack him. My husband was worried that I would not be able to explain why there was a robotic monkey in my bag, I was worried that he would get smashed if I put him in my luggage. My brother-in-law’s words “think burly guys throwing luggage around” kept echoing in my head.

I decided to carry him on.

The trip started out in Las Vegas, where Traveling Monkbot did enjoy a quick go at the machines in the airport...though he left his antenna in the luggage for ease of packing.

At the Atlanta Airport, Traveling Monkbot was pleased to see a display of his progenitors. It seems that there are a lot of toys made in Atlanta.

Do the planets stay aligned?

Will Traveling Monkbot make it to the UK?

Or will "burly guys" throw him from the plane into the ocean?

Tune in tomorrow...same Monkbot time...same Monkbot blog...to find out!

To be continued...

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Special International Travel Caveat: I know I said I was limiting each person to seven pictures...but since this leg of the trip went through different states AND countries...I decided to bend the rule a bit and allow seven pictures per city. It was the least I could do since Traveling Monkbot practically had to sit on Mind Doc's lap for hours and hours on board a plane...right? Plus, I figured...the more pictures...the more fun. So, to be fair...if anyone else takes TM out of the country...he or she is granted more than seven pictures to run.

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God Bless Us, Every One

2006-12-17T18:52:00.000-06:00

I try with all my might to fight the fangirl raging within.

But then there are times...times when pictures like the one below come to the surface...and I'm left...mouth agape...and eyes agog...and I think...truly the world is a beautiful place.

You may voice your appreciation of this photo...but absolutely no o_n__ns, th_ds, sq__s...or, something I read in GC chat last week and almost gagged...p_t_t__s.

Keep it clean and respectable.

Link to the AOL Sessions here. (Thanks for info, Ivoryhut.)

Monkbot Holiday Recipe Exchange

2006-12-17T11:10:00.000-06:00

Between all our Southern cuisine, HicksChick4Soul's Goop, Squeebee's Ukranian goodies, and Ivoryhut's lurvely gift box to me of scrumptious Filipino treats (which may NOT make it home to Biloxi as I originally intended)...I thought this might be a good time of year to share our favorite holiday or family recipes.

Be sure to include all ingredients and amounts and directions!

My mouth is watering already at what y'all will come up with.

(Um...no fruitcake recipes allowed.)

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Shelley's Candied Peanuts
These are easy and tasty and cheap to make!

2 cups shelled raw peanuts (leave the hulls, they make the finished nuts a pretty red color)
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup water
Salt to taste
Shortening

Dump the peanuts, sugar, and water in a shortening-greased skillet and cook until thick and gooey (this takes a little time...keep burner on medium heat). Spread out over a cookie sheet and salt lightly. Bake at 300 degrees for 15 minutes. Stir (this may seem awkward...stirring on a cookie sheet...but bascially you are moving the nuts around so there aren't any wet spots). Bake another 15 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool. You may need to add a smidgen more salt...but taste before adding!

Enjoy!

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Spreading Monkbot Holiday Cheer

2006-12-15T16:17:00.001-06:00

I know we've all gotten these "Getting To Know You" e-mails from friends.

Well...I got this one from my mom today and thought it had just the right mix of sentiment and generic questions so that we could share about ourselves...without giving away any details too telling for an online vehicle.

So...just for fun...here are my "Getting To Know You" answers...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
Both

3. Colored or white lights on the tree and/or house?
Colored lights on the tree. We've never put lights on our house.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, but I once stubbed my toe on a missile. Does that count?

5. When do you put your decorations up?
The day before any company arrives.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
At Easter it was G'ma Millie's gumbo. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, it has to be squash casserole.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:
I didn't have memories when I was a child...I was too young. My favorite memory now from my childhood is every Christmas morning...running past the living room with my eyes covered so as not to ruin any surprise until I could go wake up my folks and my brothers. Another good memory was sitting with Mom on this old itchy gold and brown flowered couch in the living room with all the lights out except the tree lights and listening to the light filaments tinkle and "sing" to us.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
What truth? What do you mean?
(Actually, it was when I had to help Mom make a castle for my brother, Beau...and it ended up coming from "Santa" the next morning.)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
No...never!

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
With just me and my mom because all the guys skate out the door once the lights are on. Ha!

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?
What is this "snow" you speak of?

12. Can you ice skate?
I tried once...and...no.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
My bamboo hanging chair (which I still have). I had asked for it for YEARS before I finally got it. Other favorites are the dollhouse that Dad made for me when I was 2 and my Cherry doll with all the clothes my mom made for her. Oh...and my Shaun Cassidy album and Alice in Wonderland record player...and my innertube trampoline and moon shoes...and the stilts my dad made for me and painted my name on in red down the front of each one.

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Christ our Lord and family

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
The cookies Mom and I would make and then frost...and slap the boys away from until we could get them all made. Ha.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Loo looo looooo lo lo lo looooo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo. (This has to do with my brother, Ben. We're kind of freaks.)

17. What tops your tree?
An angel playing the violin that my Aunt Lyn gave me years ago.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
Giving...by FAR!

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Silent Night

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum?
Meh

Now it's your turn.

Copy the questions below, paste them in the comment box, and fill in your answers!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

3. Colored or white lights on the tree and/or house?

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

5. When do you put your decorations up?

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?

12. Can you ice skate?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

17. What tops your tree?

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or yum?

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Put Your Monkbot Presents Under the Christmas Tree

2006-12-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

Are we ready for the first ever Monkbot eGift Exchange!?

Below is the list of who is "shopping" for whom. Put your message and "gift" in the comment section of this post.

And don't forget to "buy" something for Taylor and Gray!

NOLAgirl is buying for Squeebee
Double D is buying for Claire
Shelley is buying for Mind Doc
Shrewspeaks is buying for Libby
Squeebee is buying for Texan
Claire is buying for Double D
Holeigh is buying for Bamaborntxbred
Mind Doc is buying for Holeigh
Texan is buying for Ivoryhut
Leejolem is buying for Baby Duck
Bamaborntxbred is buying for Rowan
Libby is buying for Quossum
Ivoryhut is buying for NOLAgirl
Jax is buying for Shelley
Rowan is buying for Jax
Quossum is buying for Leejolem
Baby Duck is buying for Shrewspeaks

Merry Christmas!

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Monkbot eGift Exchange

2006-12-14T00:00:00.001-06:00

Tex had a wonderful idea for celebrating Christmas...Monkbot style.

A Monkbot eGift Exchange!

This is how it works. Everyone who wants to participate should say so in the comment section of this post. By 7 p.m. Thursday, we should have everyone's name in the hat who is participating.

I will then take the list of names, number each name, and print two copies of the list. I'll cut one of the lists into separate slips of paper (each slip holding one name). I'll fold these slips separately and drop them in a hat, bowl, or on the floor. I then will randomly pick up the slips and, as I do, will write a number on the back...until all numbers in the list are used. Then I'll unfold the slips and see who they match up with. Finally, I'll post who is "shopping" for whom Thursday night.

You will go online to find your assigned Monkbot a great gift. And the best part is...you don't have to spend a dime!

On Friday, I'll put up a Christmas Tree post for you to put your gift under.

To give a gift, just find an image that would make a great present for your Monkbot buddy and put a nice message to them in the comments as to why this image made you think of them. (Be sure to include a link to your image...remember to use your all-important html skills!)

For instance, if I were to "draw" Quossum's name...I'd say something like:

Dear Quossum,

You have brought so much joy to my Taylor-Hicks experience that you're like one of those warm and cozy quilts you create! To show my Monkbot love...here is your gift!

Merry Christmas!

Love, Shelley

And, because we're all about the Taylor and Gray lurve here...everyone can feel free to find "gifts" for these wonderful guys, too. Just be sure to put a message and link in your post.

That's it!

Who's game?!

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Oh...don't forget to check out the newest installment of our Monkbot Progressive Story below.

Bamaborntxbred has really sunk her teeth into the story. Things are heatin' up!

Also, I've put a permanent link to the Progressive Story in the right-hand column, so folks can find it a little easier.

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And this has nothing to do with our gift exchange, but information about Taylor on Go Fish just went up at Gray's this morning...and I think it's about the coolest thing ever...had to share...Go Fish and Soul Patrol! (Be sure to check out the behind-the-scenese clips while you're at Go Fish.)

How funny would it be if we all submitted questions and said, "I'm So & So...with the Soul Patrol/Monkbot Division. My questions is.....? Viva le Monkbot!"

Get up close and personal with Taylor Hicks

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Monkbot Raises Three and a Half Antennas to "Taylor Hicks"

2006-12-13T00:00:00.000-06:00

Creating an album is, in itself, a monumental task. But creating an album in a mere six weeks following a summer-long tour while trying to create a unique sound that pleases a fan base of thousands, meets the controlling restraints of producers and executives, and fulfills your own desires as an artist is unheard of.

But, despite all these conditions placed upon Taylor Hicks and his self-titled debut album, which landed on shelves this week, the 12 tracks (plus bonus) should be considered a success.

The Album
Largely, Hicks achieved what he set out to do...put together an interesting and entertaining album with an old-school feel and a contemporary pop sensibility. Certainly there are a couple of songs...“The Runaround” and “The Right Place”…that immediately take hold of the listener and beg the repeat mode be clicked on the ol’ iPod. The rest of the album, however, needs to breathe a little for deeper appreciation.

On a second listen...“Heaven Knows” and “Just to Feel That Way” become clear standouts along with the impressive “Runaround” and “Right Place.” And Hicks' remakes of his originals…“Soul Thing,” “The Deal,” and the bonus track “Hell of a Day”…are also a lot of fun and very well done.

That’s not to say there aren’t problems with this album…problems that might mean harsh words from media critics. Though Hicks’ vocals are solid throughout the entire album… some of the songs don’t offer quite enough opportunity for his distinct and quirky personality to shine through. Several songs rely on what comes across as preset synthesized percussion and keyboard...which definitely detracts from the organic quality of what Hicks offers. However, where real instruments are used, the results are truly captivating.

The album as a whole probably won’t capture any Grammys, and I’ll venture to guess that the critics at large will pan the work…if for no other reason than most critics are music elitists who would refuse to admit that Hicks set their toes a tappin’ with a few jewels on this album. However, the strength this album has is its potential to drawn more fans for Taylor Hicks. If folks outside of the Soul Patrol can move past the “squareness” so many seem to associate with Hicks from his stint on American Idol and open themselves up to at least listening to the album… few will be able to deny the appeal of more than a handful of these songs.

As for the aesthetics of the album art… the photographs are beautiful and, other than the slightly cheesy “diner” font used for the album title, the overall look is great. However, one major oversight is that there are no lyrics written in the liner notes. All albums featuring vocals should include lyrics. If the words are important enough to put to music…they are important enough to put on paper.

The Tracks
A long-standing guide I use in determining whether or not I will purchase an album is that, before I plunk down my hard-earned cash, an album must have at least three songs that I am drawn to. “Taylor Hicks” certainly meets my guidelines. But I didn’t know this until Tuesday, when I downloaded the album from iTunes. Up until that point, I had only heard “The Runaround” and, truth be told, absolutely loved it. I had made a point to not read track names and I also hadn’t read any reviews or thoughts on the album…so that my first listen would be pristine and without bias.

So, when I climbed in my car Tuesday morning after downloading the album and setting my iPod to play the album straight through…I was as wide-eyed as a newborn.

The album was bookended well…with “Runaround” jump-starting the list and “The Right Place” rounding things out…but I question some of the other song choices for this first album. “Give Me Tonight,” “Places I’ve Been,” and “The Maze” didn’t stand out as strong or particularly enjoyable, so their inclusion seems a little curious since at least one song (penned in collaboration with John Mayer) was left off the play list.

The Runaround *****
by Loren Goldberg and James Renald
It’s the driving force of the drum line that pumps this song along. Yes, “The Runaround” has a pop sensibility…but is far from the “pop” I’ve heard since the 1970s. This song has a very soulful backbeat and the punch of the horns breaths new life into an old style. I sang this in my car all the way to work Tuesday morning…sheer toe-tapping goodness. My only criticism would be that there is a shocking lack of harp.

Dream Myself Awake ***
by Rob Thomas
I didn’t dig “Dream Myself Awake” on the first listen, but the second listen was much better. I’m not a Rob Thomas fan…at all…but this song has some very nice qualities. With a beginning measure that brings “Midnight Train to Georgia” to mind, the song plods a little at the start but, once it picks up, is very enjoyable. I have to admit that Hicks’ drawl in this song brought out the fangirl out in me. (Oh, and I need to add that there is line in the song that Hicks delivers that is creasing my brain with familiarity. Does anyone hear something familiar when Hicks sings “I can’t get enough of you BAby”? It’s driving me crazy trying to place where I’ve heard that tune before…especially the “baby” part.)

Heaven Knows ****
by Cory Rooney, Makeba Riddick, Kara DioGuardi, Matt Serletic, Ray Charles, Warren Moore, Smokey Robinson, Robert Rogers, and Marvin Tarplin
Paying homage to Ray Charles, Hicks kicks this tune off with the familiar organ part to “What’d I Say” and the rest is just as fun. The layering in this song is brilliant…the creakin’ sax, the driving percussion, the gospel-like quality to the background vocals. There are a lot of nuances going on here…all groovin’ well together to create a great beat and a strong singability factor.

Gonna Move ***
by Paul Pena
This remake of the Paul Pena classic has a definite Robert Randolph feel…and though I appreciate Randolph’s talents…the repetition and heaviness of the bass line is way too structured for a song that's about ramblin’. There's too much of a push/pull between Hicks’ loose vocals and the music framework. It seems he’s trying to loosen it up…but he’s fighting the instruments…which are thumping out a steady beat. I tried hard to not compare it with Susan Tedeschi’s version and Hicks’ live version…but it was hard not to. Like “Dream Myself Awake,” this song does grow better on the second listen and I truly liked the playfulness of Hicks with the male background chorus. I just wish the song, on the whole, was more loose.

Wherever I Lay My Hat ***
by Marvin Gaye, Barrette Strong, and Norman Whitfield
I had never heard this song before…even though it’s a remake of a Marvin Gaye song. It has a definite “Forever Young” (Rod Stewart) feel and Hicks does a wonderful job with the vocals. I love how this song leaves his voice exposed…vulnerable…but I didn’t really enjoy the synthesized feel to the song. It comes off as a little over-produced.

Give Me Tonight *
by Matt Serletic, Kevin Kadish, Brandon Jane, Lea Crutchfield, Taylor Hicks, and Kara DioGuardi
This is going to be rough, folks, so hold on. I hate this song. From the electronic drumbeat to the unbelievably cheesy lyrics…this is not good. It’s like Lionel Richie trying to be a badass…just...yikes. Maybe my appreciation is stymied by the creepiness factor of a guy wanting a raunchy one-night stand with some hot chick he saw at a party…but I doubt it. I literally cringe when Hicks sings, “There was magic in the air…I was trying not to stare, but you caught me…you caught me COLD.” Geesh…for this we gave up a Mayer song? I was more than disappointed when I saw that Hicks co-wrote this. I’m just relieved some of his other original works (written on his own without collaboration) are on the album to show folks that “Give Me Tonight” is not solely indicative of what he is capable.

Just to Feel that Way ****
by Lindy Robbins, Jess Cates, and Emanuel Kiriakou
Now this song piqued my interest immediately. In it, Hicks sounds like he's stretching his singing chops…and it works beautifully. We may have lost the Mayer song on this album…but “Just to Feel that Way” has a Mayer vibe mixed with a little Marc Cohn. This is a beautiful song. It gets a little “big ballady” in parts, but overall it’s very nice…and very different from anything I’ve heard Hicks sing. I also enjoyed the sound of the strings (which may be synthesized…but they work). Well done.

The Maze **
by Anne Preven and Scott Cutler
I can’t get past the 1987 Casio keyboard sound at the beginning...sorry. Must…try…to move…past…this. Nothing about “The Maze” stood out to me….except the 1987 Casio keyboard sound at the beginning. Stripping this piece down to just a few instruments would have enhanced the overall mood of the song by allowing the vocals to emote instead of compete for attention. The song does grow stronger toward the end…still, wholly, it’s not a real keeper.

Places I’ve Been **
by Diane Warren
This song brings me to the same thoughts as I had for “The Maze”…less would be more. Ultimately, this is a bland piece that I’ve listened to now five or six times and still can’t recall.

Soul Thing ****
by Taylor Hicks
Now this is a great remix of a familiar song. If I was hearing this for first time…I’d be hooked. I love the original…but this one is fun and a nice change of pace, even if the guitar in the middle is a bit much. However, the breakdown after the guitar solo has a quirkiness factor that really drives it home.

The Deal ****
by Taylor Hicks
This is another great rerecord…even better than the original…by far. I not only love the organ in this piece…I like the sax solo (and, as most of y’all probably know by now…I generally don’t like sax solos). Plus, Hicks settles into this piece like he would into a well-worn pair of slippers. There’s a very comfortable and laid-back feeling surrounded by familiarity and warmth. I have a renewed sense of appreciation for "The Deal" now. Thank you, Mr. Hicks.

The Right Place *****
by Bryan Adams and Jim Vallance (written for Ray Charles to record before his death)
If for no other reason than this song…everybody should be a card-carrying member of the Soul Patrol. I absolutely am in love with “The Right Place.” The producers got it right on this one…a pared down song that features great lyrics, great music, great vocals, and lots of emotion. I wish the entire album could be this lovely. Hicks practically channels Ray Charles as he caresses this piece. Not only is Hicks sexy and soulful, his whiskey tenor shows a range that wasn’t explored in the album's other songs. He teases his audience in just the right places and hits them between the eyes in just the right spots. Plus…how many women out there would love to hear Hicks calling them “angel”? Um…sign me up. This song is perfect for the end of the album (at least the versions without the bonus track) because it shows the potential that Hicks has to express without all the hoopla of studio mixing and layering….and it gives us a taste of the direction his sophomore album could be heading.

Hell of a Day (Bonus Track) ****
by Taylor Hicks
This is another solid Hicks original. The re-record…with the added brass…didn’t do anything but enhance an already fantastic piece of work. I like the faster tempo and the added bridge. Plus, I actually think these vocals are among his strongest of the previous versions of this song that I’ve heard.

Overall…a great album…and one I will enjoy for a long time.

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Let's See...Something's Supposed to Happen Today....What Could It Be?

2006-12-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

I know, I know...we're all filled with glee beyond comprehension that this day has finally come.

Taylor Hicks...the unassuming guy from Alabama who had us riveted to our televisions every Tuesday and Wednesday night last winter and spring...the guy who we emptied our bank accounts for to make sure he would win American Idol...the guy who had the biggest concert tour all summer (I think he was accompanied by a few other singers)...the guy who we all lurve...finally saw the fruits of all his hard work (and ours) with the release today of his national debut album, "Taylor Hicks."

How good does that feel!?!

We're all so very proud of Taylor and wish him well on the sale of his new album.

And I know we could recount story after story of all we did to get him here...and all we're doing to booster the sale of this album (which I've YET to hear).

However...I'd love for us here at Monkbot to share something a little different today.

Instead of saying how wow'd we are by the album...or how proud we are of Taylor...or how heartily we wish him well (which I'm sure we could all say TONS about)...let's, instead, look at what goodness we've encountered through this entire adventure.

Let's applaud Taylor by sharing how his journey has led to MORE than simply a wonderful album.

Allow me to go first.

In March I began sharing myself with total strangers at a little blog called GrayCharles.com. I nervously put myself out there (like so many of us did), fearing ridicule and public shunning.

But ridicule and shunning were the opposite of what happened.

I was embraced by a community...a community that was rich and vibrant and smart and funny and irritating and challenging.

It made me feel great.

As time wore on...I began to drift toward certain names on Gray's blog...Holeigh...Quossum...FLJerseyBoy...Double D...Ascme...Hope...and so many others.

These people would welcome me warmly in chat...they'd e-mail me...and, with some, we'd chat on the phone for hours.

I was having so much fun...but I didn't realize that I still had more growing to do with these folks and others.

In July I met up with NOLAgirl in the Big Easy and she escorted me and my family around the Quarter.

In August, I was privileged enough to travel with Q and her husband, James, to the AI concert in Birmingham. It was on that trip that Q presented me with the most beautiful handmade quilt I've ever seen (plus, it's purple...my favorite color).

At WorkPlay, a friend with a little pull tried to get me a meeting with Taylor...it fell through, but the gesture was very much appreciated.

Jan of Soul Patrol Relief managed to get Q and me to a special presentation at Lynn Park in Birmingham...which got us up close to Taylor.

I was able to return Jan's kindness at Lynn Park by giving her a place to stay when she was stranded in Jackson on her way to a LiMBO event.

I've received cards and letters and phone calls and e-mails and photos from so many of my "Taylor friends" that I hesitate to try and recount them all...for fearing of leaving someone out!

And everyone here at Monkbot has given so much to make this little site so very special.

From Bamaborntxbred helping me post when I'm not able...to MindDoc's concern for my well-being when I posted a video of my drive home...from Shrew making Monkbot fliers to pass around in San Jose...to everyone who signed up for Traveling Monkbot and everyone who is contributing to the progressive story...y'all's contributions have been amazing.

Plus...just yesterday...I received the most fun (and unexpected) care package I've gotten since college.

Sweet, precious little Ivoryhut sent me a box filled with all kinds of Filipino goodies inside. (I now know what Coco Jam is....yum!)

Of course the bag of Monkey Chocolate Banana candies grabbed my attention first...however, I then spotted a bag that said "garlic" and I had to rip it open (I'm convinced that it's my insane love of garlic that has kept me single this long).

Everything in the box looks delicious...but none of it compared to the letter that accompanied the gift. Ivoryhut, your words meant so much and summed up how I feel about you and each of your Monkbot siblings. Thank you!

I'm proud of the last 12 months. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of Taylor Hicks, and I'm proud of Gray Charles.

But I'm also proud of each of you...for proving to me that there is so much goodness in the world.

Today really is a day to celebrate.

Excerpt from Ivoryhut's letter...

Just sending you a little something as a token of gratitude for giving me a reason to look forward to hanging around online again. You've created a warm, inviting place where others like me can feel welcome, and I feel like I've gained all these great and cool new friends that I can't wait to hang out with every day.

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