A Weekend of Decadence...Confessional Post
When I fall off the wagon...I dive headfirst and with gusto.
I knew Friday that I needed to get groceries...especially since I'm trying to eat healthy now. However, getting home from work a little early, I thought I had the whole weekend ahead of me...so...why rush things?
Instead of going to the store, I ate a Healty Choice and had some crackers and hummus. But I was DYING for some sugar...so I loaded Sadie in the car and drove to get some Krispy Kreme donuts and hot chocolate.
Like I said...go for the friggin' gusto, baby.
Saturday morning, I had to meet my friend Kathy Sue for breakfast to give her the disk of photos I took at her engagement party last weekend. I also wrote up a brief article for a few Jackson society papers to accompany the photos. K.S. wanted to meet at the Waffle House...and who was I to turn it down...especially since it was her treat?
Grits and cheese eggs never tasted so good.
We ended up leaving my car at the Waffle House and driving around the Jackson Metro area for a couple of hours in her car, looking at the sheesheelala homes.
We found one subdivision that looked like the set of a movie (The Town of Lost Rabbit) with an open house and so we just HAD to see what was so special about a $750,000 home. Other than the fact that the built-in entertainment center was built to ONLY accommodate a plasma television and every room had its own fireplace...I didn't think it was anything great (yes...those are sour grapes you're reading).
Kathy Sue also took me by the new house she and her fiance are buying for after the wedding. It was lovely...even without a plasma screen and multi-room fireplaces.
By the time she drove me back to the W.H. to pick up my car, it was beginning to rain pretty steady. I decided that I didn't want to get groceries in the rain, so I went by the house and picked up Sadie...then we drove out to a little church I wanted to visit on Sunday to see if they had times listed on the marquee (there was no information online and all I got when I called was an answering machine). UPDATE: They do have a website...I just, for whatever reason, couldn't find it using Google...duh.
We drove to the church, got the times, and, on the way back home, stopped to pick up some Chinese food for lunch.
I got home and downloaded "Sky High" from iTunes and ate my food. Believe it or not, the movie was pretty good. Cheesy...but fun.
I pretty much chilled the rest of the afternoon on the computer and playing with Sadie and talking on the phone...all under the guise of waiting for the rain to let up.
When it did, it was dark...and I couldn't get groceries in the dark.
So I took Sadie to the Taco Bell drive-through and got dinner.
I got back and tried to download "The Insider" to watch...but it was taking forever to download...so, after eating and playing some Sudoku...I went to bed...at 9 p.m.
Because I had gone to bed so early...I woke up at 6:50 a.m. Since church wasn't starting until 10:30 a.m....I decided to see if "The Insider" had downloaded overnight...it had...I watched it...then I went to church.
Service was nice...I'm not sure if this new church is the right one for me...but I'll give it another Sunday before moving on.
On the way home from church...I picked up Steak Out...took it home and downloaded "Soapdish" and watched it.
As you can tell...I've quickly waded through the good stuff at iTunes and am now stuck downloading crappy stuff. Steve Jobs...if you're reading this...please put some better movies on your little store. Thank you.
After "Soapdish" was over...I still didn't want to go to the store. So, I did the only other thing I could do...being bored out of my mind and totally shiftless.
I took a nap.
When I woke up, I realized it was 4 p.m. and I had piddlefarted the whole weekend. I now HAD to get groceries...and drop off my blood pressure medication prescription at Walgreens.
But first I had to empty all my garbages and work on the neighborhood newsletter I volunteered to do.
After all that was done...and I had no more excuses, finally, I made a grocery list.
It was getting late, but I still managed to drop off my prescription and make it to Krogers before dark.
I parked the car and walked into the store. I pulled my list from my pocket and reached into my purse to get my pen out of my wallet.
But I stopped when I realized...I couldn't find my wallet.
I stopped and began fumbling deeper in my bag...where was it?
I started to panic, as I turned to leave the store.
I went to the car...it wasn't there.
I called Steak Out to see if I had left it there...they couldn't find it.
"It'll be okay, Miss," said Sean, the manager of Steak Out. "I'll call all my workers who were on duty earlier. If it's here...we'll find it."
"Thank you," I said with a mix of hope and fear. It had been hours since I had last seen it.
As I drove to the house, I began to mentally kick myself.
If you had gotten gas earlier instead of putting it off, you would have noticed it was missing.
Why did you have to take a nap instead of going to get groceries, stupid girl?
This is all your fault for putting off what you should have done.
Idiot, Shelley!
I almost hit my garbage cans as I pulled into my carport. I couldn't open the door fast enough.
I walked in and panned the dining room table.
And there...sitting by a stack of photos and abulms I should have put together weeks ago...was my wallet.
I said a prayer of thanks and then called Sean. "I found it. Thanks."
He was very nice about the whole thing.
By this time, it was after 7 p.m. I didn't have enough gas to make the trip to Kroger and back (I had also procrastinated getting gas...rationing what was left for one trip to Kroger and then the drive in to work tomorrow).
But I still needed dinner...as my cupboards were bare.
So, I loaded Sadie up and went to fill my gas tank and get a Sonic burger.
But...just so y'all know...my grocery list is in my purse...and I WILL get groceries on the way home from work tomorrow.
I've learned my lesson.
I promise.
---
Okay, now that the official post is over, I promised my mom this weekend that I would post some songs of mine today.
Enjoy...or don't. But either way, I'm not looking for any comments. I'm just sharing 'cause my mom is making me.
I Wanna Be Free - this is an original piece recorded about five years ago on a four-track tape recorder...that's me on guitar...I know, I know, it sounds like I'm choking it to death...which I am (I've NEVER professed to be a good guitar player)
Amazing Grace - recorded all three parts about six years ago on a dual cassette player (hence, the hissing and poor quality)
Prayer of St. Francis - recorded about two years ago on my Mac so I could practice it in my car and learn the words. I had to sing it at a friend's wedding.
---
Labels: Shelley's World
posted by shelley @ 1/29/2007 12:00:00 AM
45 comments
45 Comments:
Ahhh, Shelley, the songs are really beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing. You have such a lovely voice.
"Taaaaylooor...download and listen...duet...duet..."
I think I will have to send you a severed head so I can join you sitting un the dust, smiling ruefully.I have tumbled from the wagon myself these last couple of days. find that when I am very stressed, or even feeling joyful, the impulse is to go eat everything in a five-mile radius that has a measurable carbohydrate content. Sigh. Oh yes, and I am even now scrabbling in the aforementioned dirt and looking to blame my hormones. Reeeally need to get back on that there pony, so am reaching over a dusty hand to be helped up. We can get back behind the reins Sistah, and gallop off into the ever rosy glow of weight-loss dawn.
Tomorrow the Slimfast! I am kind of convinced that I'd have more success with it if it were renamed SlimQuickly. Am founding a society for the protection of Adverbs.
I know what that horrible 'lost wallet adrenalin surge' feels like, as I left my bank card on a tray in a supermarket cafe last Wednesday. Went around the store and did a big shop, then got to the checkout, having self-bagged all the stuff (thankfully in non-low-rise jeans) only to discover I'd left the card on my tray.Yeek! When, on investigation, it did not come to light, a frantic series of cell-phone calls ensued and the card was stopped, but I am STILL awaiting my new one, temporarily exiled from my buying power, down to eating things like 1lb tins of butter beans which have been lying at the back of the cupboard so long, they have gone rusty. Sigh.
They are even changing my PIN...I have had that PIN since I was a stripling of 17 and opened my student account. Goodbye card and PIN, Hello aphasia.
When I get my new card I will regain my equilibrium and will be unwavering in cantering down that path to a thinner me. My pony is hoping it works quickly, for the sake of the impact my presence and the saddlebags of canned coffee milkshakes are having on his cardiovascular system. "Neeeigh borra Missus" he interjects."Dinna worry aboot me." (He is a macho Glaswegian powney.)
I'm a sicko...a rusty can of butter beans sounds PERFECT for breakfast.
Is it because it's winter and we're following the path set by years and years of survival instincts...to fatten up for the cold months?
Pathetic.
LOL, Shelley, you could be right...but then, in the Summer, we have ice-cream. No probs for the like of us though - we will forget it ever happened and rejoin the threads past and future success. Go Monkbots!
Threads of past and future success. I cannot type. Sorry!
Sharing my favourite uplifting diet song with you, with reassurance that a couple of days off the wagon will have no impact in the scheme of things. Here's to the Roses of Success
Awww -- Shelley hang in there.
*industriously brushes dust off of Shelley's back*
It is not a disaster -- it is just keeping your metabolism guessing. Other than that, it sounds like you had time to rest and reflect this weekend and spend time with friends and watch movies.
I, too, am a once-I-am-off-the-wagon-no-holds-barred-type. I have come to the realization that I have no dimmer switch. I can eat or not eat, but I can't cheat. I am trying to learn moderation.
My problem is that I have to endure a bout of self-loathing that leads me to doing even less.
Thanks so much for the music -- I really enjoy your voice. I think that it is lovely that you put them up for your mommy.
(Rowan -- the car falls apart at the end of the song!)
Mind Doc = Dr. Bob, for future reference. Sorry!
Dr. Bob...I'm glad to learn I'm not alone.
I, too, need to find that happy medium and abandon my "all or nothing" stance. It's really a dangerous way of thinking and living.
Oh...for those watching Idol...this is a pretty good wrap-up of the contestants thus far...and a chance to vote on early favorites.
Well, I totally fell off the wagon this weekend too. With eating and drinking.
I definitely need to learn the principle of moderation...in all areas of my life: eating, drinking, tv watching, Monkbotting, Sudoku, magazine reading (I heart Country Living magazine so much!), lip gloss. If I enjoy something...I enjoy it to death. My eyeballs will be bursting from the strain of watching too much tv, I lose sleep b/c I can't put down the Sudoku before bed, I have a drawer full of half-used lip gloss....arrgh!
I made a promise to myself after New Year's that I wouldn't drink (at all) until my b-day in July. I changed it to NOLA recently, which is fine with me. (Cuz who's not gonna get their drink on?)
So, Friday night, I went out with my bff, this guy I can't stand (Reid) and this other guy that Reid was trying to set up with my bff. I decided "Oh I can have two glasses of wine. That won't be toooo bad!" Ha!! Two glasses turned into 6-7-8...and I crawled into bed after 3 a.m. Oh, and I ate about 40 buffalo wings too...and some brie cheese...and some Girl Scout cookies.
My excuse to keep drinking was that I was sad b/c "I'm never gonna meet anyone ever b/c I'm old and stoopid and my bff is a 25 year old knockout." And...I really can't stand Reid...and I had to numb my annoyance and melancholy.
Saturday, I was so hungover that the only thing that sounded good was fast food. That Wendy's super value meal (biggie sized) sure hit the spot. And later I met a friend for dinner and had: cheese fries w/all the goodies they throw on top, a chili-cheese burger, and fried mushrooms.
Sunday, of course, I felt I should just start over on Monday...so I had hot dogs, burritos, chips, lots of cereal....
I feel so bad today. Physically and mentally. Why can't I learn that if I screw up one time, I don't have to keep screwing up??!
That post was kinda all about me...but my point in writing it was to tell you that you aren't alone and we share some "issues" in common. I bet a lot of women do!
(P.S. I saw Jim Halpert/John Kaszinsky on the SAG awards last night and he looked so beautiful!)
Y'all need to forgive yourselves!!! It's a new day! Let go of the guilt, and do better today...Beating ourselves up over our "slips" is self-defeating. I know...I do it too. ;)
I know I'm likely the only Tori Amos fan here, but her song Crucify is fitting at times like these. Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm sending peaceful, healing thoughts to all my Monkbot friends today!! :)
Thanks KD!You're right. We do need to forgive ourselves. Yep, the binge-guilt is a heavy burden, and agree with Dr Bob that it leads to further inertia. I am inclined to be an all or nothing person, too - either dieting or OD-ing on carbs. Tomorrow is always another day though - a fresh start!
Aww, Bama - solidarity on the chips and cereal! My downfall too. But what you had sounded good. Don't feel bad. We can all have a Vulcan mind meld via youtube and forget our lost weekends.
Dr Bob - about the car...hoped that bit would go unnoticed. Think it is a technicality...that it doesn't really disrupt the central thesis too much...just adds to the whimsy...(Rowan clutches at straws and nervously forms them ino a rather fetching lupin.)
hey ..I have a plan! Don't beat up your monkbot precious selves...blame the grocery stores! Grocery shopping is a pain in the ass! I buy ALOT of groceries. I pull up and try to dodge the unmanned guerilla carts in the lot. Settling on a safe-ish spot, I drag myself into the store while wondering if I have the stupid Kroger Plus card or Tom Thumb Reward card. I need a wallet for all the card pollution. Besides it is creepy that they track my every purchase! I whip thru (in case you have not noticed I am an admitted high strung type) and load up a mountainous heap into my basket(s), stand in line, unload the moutain onto the conveyor belt, pay a whopping bill, get it to my car that is trapped by wayward carts by now. ( ASIDE: and the sackers have the nerve to say..."Do you want help with those bags?" ... a weakly veiled attempt to avoid taking them out...of course I want help! I have 75 bags!) I put them in my car. I drive home. I take them out of my car and sort and store and consolidate and organize. Whew! By then, I am tired!
If you can have a drive thru burger joint on every corner and even have them invade the gas stations, why can't there be a drive thru grocery with combos like a gallon of milk, lettuce, tomatoes, bread, and a rotesserie chicken? We could survive on that! I miss the days of the online grocery stores. You order. They deliver right to your kitchen counter wearing cute little hospital shoe covers!
GROCERY STORES GROW UP, FAST FORWARD, DO SOMETHING TO GET INTO THE SAME CENTURY AS YOUR CUSTOMERS
And if you don't fall off the wagon on occasion you should jump off intentionally and live and little. The wagon will be there!
rant over. back to my bubble.
texan said, "drive thru grocery with combos like a gallon of milk, lettuce, tomatoes, bread, and a rotesserie chicken"
For the best idea EVER...I hereby award Texan with
The Official Prize of the Day
whoohoo! I am glad I got my rant on! my prize is sooooo nice!
I totally agree texan! I hate going to the g-store! And to make matters worse, the closest one to my house is a Super Walmart...which I hate, but am sucked into it's evil vortex of consumerism whenever I get too close.
Eating out is just so much easier! No shopping, cooking or cleaning!
Why can't I be super-rich so someone else can do all that for me? I could just show up and have someone spoon the food into my mouth.
I'm back on the wagon today. Nice Lean Cuisine lunch, yogurt and 100 calorie cookie pack. Bfast was a banana and Slim-fast snack bar.
So, I need someone to talk me out of spending $660 on a microdermabrasion package. I am this close to setting up the first appointment. I'm jonesing for a serious beauty treatment. But I just spent a bunch of money on new furniture and the MB Convention. You see, once I start spending....I. Just. Can't. Stop!
Help meeeeeee!
Bama,
you won't find me talking you out of a microdermabrasion....good stuff...you might have talked me into one!
Shelley - I need to know what Steak Out is! Do tell ...
Your weekend sounds yummy, actually. (can you tell all I think about is food now that I'm in healthy eating mode?? Gah!) I had my splurge meal Saturday night - Chinese! It felt good to get that out and reward myself for eating rabbit food!!
Texan- Your idea is brazilliant. ;)
Ooooh Texan! I'm a bad influence! Sorry! My friend brought all this info in from her dermatologist and I've been reading it all morning!
Aww don't feel bad Shelley, I had a fall off the wagon incident this past week too. You see we celebrated my birthday, my husbands birthday, and a friends birthday as we all have b-days within 3 days of each other. First we had a big outing with our friends to a fancy restaurant, I treated myself to lobster ravioli. Then my mother surprised us by shipping Montgomery Inn Ribs to us next day along with Grater's Ice Cream for our birthday presents. First of all those ribs are worth jumping off any wagon any day any time to begin with. Second it was such a sweet gesture on my mom's part to send fixins from my hometown how could I not eat them!
Happily even with my transgressions I managed to maintain the weight I've lost so far, so at least I didn't take a step backward.
Shelley- that poll was interesting. Looks like Sundance is the early fave.
Hmmm...not sure he's as wonderful as everyone else seems to think...but at least the favorite wasn't some hot hoochie mama.
buffalo wings, brie and girl scout cookies ... mmmmm
*smacks self sharply on forehead and assumes lectern*
bama says:
Why can't I learn that if I screw up one time, I don't have to keep screwing up??!
There is a term for that feeling of "screw it, I already blew my diet (or whatever it is) and will now eat my body weight in Thin Mints."
It is called the abstinence violation effect (AVE -- if you want to sound like a snotty professional). The fact that it is so common that it gets a term is comforting, somehow. Research has found that if you look at slips as no big deal, they are no big deal -- but if you throw in the towel in frustration, or say that the slip ruins everything, well ... it does. For me, I think that I panic, because I feel like I simply cannot gain control back -- and even if I do, I will screw up again. That is why talking to all of you who are slowly but surely making changes helps. A whole lot.
I am with all of you -- climbing laboriously onto the wagon again. Today has been good.
Monkbot solidarity! Er ... exactly how much weight could one lose with microdermabrasion? Just askin'.
oh -- and thanks for the idol write up -- very interesting....
Kimmy,
Montgomery Inn Ribs...do tell...I have a favorite top secret rib joint. I do try other placesm but nothing compares. Pork or beef?
Ha! So there is a term for it! I just thought it was plain ole idiocy! AVE...I like the sound of it!
"Hi, my name is Bama and I'm an AVE'er."
Besides feeling like I blew it and I should just eat everything in sight...sometimes I start telling myself, "Oh, it's not that big of a deal. You can have the whole cheesecake. You deserve it. You've worked so hard this week. One little cheesecake couldn't possibly set you back! Do it, eat it...you know you want it..." So, what's the term for that?? Lying??
Maybe there is a microdermabrasion that can abrade my gut off.
http://www.montgomeryinn.com/
Texan: Pork
These ribs are the shit. Seriously, I've never had ribs that even compare. Slather on some warm Montgomery Inn Sauce and you are in heaven.
Montgomery is a small town but we have our own celebrity following for our food. Bob Hope had a standing order for a weekly delivery of ribs. The restaurant walls are covered in pictures of the owner with various celebrities. The Inn is the biggest buyer of pork products for an independent restaurant in the United States. Between 16 and 20 tons of ribs a week. It's also won numerous awards from industry magazines.
Grater's ice cream, which you can get in a gift basket with the ribs is a favorite of Oprah's. My husband had Raspberry Chocolate Chip and before I knew it his spoon had become a weapon and he developed a glint in his eye as he told me that the raspberry was his and only his and that he doesn't ask for a lot from me but I better respect that it was his. Lordy, I'm going to drool just thinking about it. Needless to say I highly recommend both.
I'm hungry.
Kimmy...
Ok i will order some for as taste test. But i am not sure they can top ...i hope so in a way...i need to have more outlets! hope they airmail 'em to texas.
my spot is "in the middle of nowhere", texas and has a similiar celeb following
thanks for the tip
and Mind Doc I am so glad you are here. I learn so much from you.
signed AVE in Tejas
Texan...are your fave ribs pork or beef?
This is a trick question from one Texan to another.
there is no trick at all...pork ribs or nothing baby
It is a trick question because the TX state motto is "Beefs or Bust"! Not really, but you might get yerself kicked out of TX if "they" hear about you choosing pork over beef!
Personally, I eat 'em all!
Maybe there is a microdermabrasion that can abrade my gut off.
Bama, that one made me choke on my tea. If I start snickering in group tonight, I will blame you!!
The I-deserve-an-entire-cheesecake feeling is what I call the CJE -- cheesecake justification effect.
I hope that this is helpful to you all. Better living through cheesecake is my motto. Useless psychological trivia is my game.
Thank you, Shell, for bringing back the word "gusto". The last time I seen the word was back in vl. 124 of Archie's Pal, Jughead. Jughead was fishing and Veronica and Betty just happened to be passing by. Veronica made the comment that she didn't understand fishing, and witty Betty replied, 'It's just something men do, I guess'. After Jughead caught the fish he waltzed by the meandering girls and snidely commented,'I caught this fish and I'm going to eat it with Gusto!'. Leave to Betty and Veronica who said,'Who's Gusto?'. Betty said,'Probably one of his weird little friends.' Thanks for the memories and vocab, sis!
I can't make myself get on the wagon to get healthy. Today I promised myself yet again to cut back on diet sodas and drink water but I haven't even had one small bottle. I did eat a Chick-fil-a sandwich for lunch which isn't too bad.
Since Weight Watchers I can do things in moderation if I decide to most of the time. I just think one day of calories in a big bucket and I can have that many however I want to allocate them. Can you tell I'm a freakin' geek or what.
Bama, girl you don't need no microdermabrasion. You skin is beautiful.
texan: Do tell on the ribs. I would love to check out your favorite place. I agree it's pork or nothing. Not only that, but babyback or nothing for me. I love Rudy's for ribs in Texas in general and Artz Rib House specifically in Austin. Artz has live music all the time too which makes it even better. Neither has sides worth a crap though. Well, the potato salad at Artz is better than at Rudy's but that's not saying much.
I must make a confession--I don't really like ribs that well. I hope I'm not going to be thrown out of the Monkbots. I do love the hot bbq wings at Buffalo Wild Wings and could drink the teriyaki sauce straight from the bottle. Does that count?
I need to make a grocery list for DH, or we will be eating mcdonalds and taco bell for the next week. The cupboards are bare. I love to cook, but hate to grocery shop.
Shelley, I tried to listen to your perdy music, but my computer wouldn't let me. :(
Bama, what kind of Girl Scout cookies? I personally love Thin MInts.
Rowan, "macho Glasegian powney"--ROFLMBO!!!
ok, that should be :(
Oh yeah, I forgot, I want to live in the Town of Lost Rabbit. What could I buy for $200,000? 1/4 of a house? bummer
Dr Bob - do you know of any palliatives for those awful post-carb-binge insulin surges? The ones which feel like a hangover and make you go on automatic pilot looking for more carbs the next morning, and risk the whole cycle beginning again? If you have come across any gems, maybe you could help. If I get that one sussed, I am feelin confident about gettin back on that wagon in the morning. OOOh hope the bankcard comes tomorrow!
Mmmm..ribs and salad...cheescake...drool
Thin mints sound very yummy too (waves to Leejolem) and the sort of thing you could pretend were not too calorific. Anything with thin in th title means you can eat thr whole box and toss the guilt over your left shoulder, ignoring the little growling noises it makes from under the couch, biding its time.
well they will have to give the boot because cow ribs are just not as good!
oh well the cow can't be jealous it is not like i can have a pig steak!
ok and here is the secret
shhhh...Country Tavern Kilgore Texas location ONLY...and don't look for a website, I think they still have a rotary dial phone , saw dust floors are gone now. best food on the face of the earth thus far IMO. if you dtop in you can see where i wrote my undying love to some guy in high school on the wall! :) hey Artz is pretty good! or that mt. zion church joint whoa that is some serious BBQ.
God I soo want to meet you guys in New orleans..pray for a miracle for me sal x
On monkbot miracle patrol, Sal. Reporting for duty!
I had some baby back ribs from Rudy's last night. I just couldn't resist after all the rib talk. Yummy, yummy, yummy.
Oh, I forgot, thanks texan. I will have to check that place out.
I love your rendition of amazing grace!!!! you can sing girl! woooo!
dont worry about the weekend, we all slip with diets, your doing great and im pulling for you! you have more restraint then I do, dieting is hard with my teens and fiancee always bringing me what I love grrrr lol
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