And I Thought Saturday Would Be Boring...

My expectations for Saturday were fairly low.

Not in a bad way, just in a "I have nothing much planned today" way.

Other than catching a matinee with my friend, Jon, and picking up a camera from another friend, Kathy Sue, all I really HAD to take care of was getting groceries. And I also knew I wanted to visit a local butcher shop...but more on that later.

I woke around 8 a.m., got showered and dressed as soon as I could stumble out of bed and let Sadie out. I put on jeans and my turquoise shirt and threw my hair back in a ponytail. I was very pleased to notice that my jeans fit a little looser than normal (thanks to two weeks of cooking for myself...this is possibly the longest I've gone in four years withOUT buying food from a restaurant.)

Once I was ready for the day and had loaded my iPod up with a bunch of new songs I had purchased (I had gone on a Dolly Parton binge thanks to a post at Gray's that morning)...I was ready for the day.

I loaded Sadie in the car and pulled out of the drive to head to Kathy Sue's house. She's having her engagement party next weekend and asked if I would serve as photographer. I agreed, but only if I could borrow her digital camera...which is TONS nicer than mine. She was to leave it hidden in her storage room for me to pick up...as she was visiting her grandmother in the Delta this weekend.

It was a beautiful day...70-something degrees and sunny. As I drove down the street, I couldn't help but notice the saddest excuse of a garage sale going on not more than five houses down from my house. A scattering of smallish, uneventful items were set on a couple of rickety tray tables and overturned cardboard boxes that lined the driveway. I slowed somewhat...to peruse from my car, but nothing caught my eye, so I decided to drive on.

I got to K.S.'s house and found the camera, hidden where she told me she'd leave it for me...under a red plaid blanket.

I jotted her a note to let her know I had the camera, set it on the blanket, then drove on to Jimmy's Gourmet Meat and Speciality Shoppe.

I didn't know what quite to expect at the butcher shop. I had told Jon I was running by the butcher and he said..."The butcher? Are you living in 1950?"

I did feel a little Barbara Billingsly walking into the shop...though Jon insisted it was more of a Jane Wyatt act.

I gotta admit, it was nice having someone wait on me and answer all my stupid questions. The best you get at the Kroger is a guy running around, with lots of customers and little selection.

Another plus is that...all the butcher shop guys were fairly hunky. Not really my type, but very nice to look at through cases of raw meat. Err...that doesn't sound right...or does it?

I asked what type of fish would be mild and tasty.

"Anything but salmon," I said.

They recommended tilapia. It was $7.99 per pound (yikes). I bought three vacuum packed, frozen fillets .

I also saw a beautiful, lean cut of pork and had butcher guy cut me two 6 oz. servings. The coolest part of the visit was that they actually used honest to goodness butcher paper to wrap the pork.

Sadly, it takes very little to impress me.


After the butcher, I ran by the house to drop off the meat and put Sadie in the backyard to enjoy the beautiful day. The garage sale was winding down and my neighbor was moving items to the curb. I couldn't help but notice a big box, filled with old crutches. For whatever inane reason, I really wanted those crutches. But I couldn't stop...I only had a few minutes to get to the new theatre in Madison to see "The Holiday" with Jon.


Fantastic movie. I've never thought Cameron Diaz was a great actress, but she had some wonderful moments. Kate Winslet was precious. Jack Black gave us some chuckles. But Jude...

Jude Law is absolutely beautiful. He radiated from the screen. Not only is he gorgeous, his portrayal of the "widowed dad with heart" was lovely.

My only complaint with the movie is that they hired one of the hottest actors in Hollywood and used him in only one scene.

That actor is John Krasinski.

He was adorable...for the full 60 seconds he was on the screen.

Grrrrr...

But all my irritation with Hollywood was forgotten when I pulled back up to the house.

In my mailbox was a package...from Mind Doc.

I grabbed the package and excitedly opened it...and found...a pair of underwear.

Seriously, when I opened the package and saw the skivvies (pictured atop this post)...I howled with laughter. They are genuine Neighborhoodies drawers. Of course they are WAY too small to wear on my big butt...however...perhaps as a lovely chapeau? The new Taylor Toboggan...I'm sure it will be the next big craze with the kids.


Once I had caught my breath after laughing hysterically at Mind Doc's gift...I went out to check on Sadie in the backyard and noticed some torn paper near the back fence.

Now, I'm used to trash being in my yard. I live across from an elementary school. Cheetos bags, candy wrappers, notes that didn't make it to the teacher, or A+ tests that didn't make it to refrigerator doors...if it was in a backpack at one time...it usually ends up in my yard at some point.

Today's find was from someone who really, really likes strawberry cake...but has a small aversion to the letter "o".


I headed back in the house and put together a grocery list then went to the Kroger to get my non-meat things. I couldn't help but notice the box of crutches was still there, but it was getting dark and I wanted to get my shopping done before it got too late...so, once again, I left them at curbside.

Once I got to the Kroger and was walking toward the entrance, I noticed a mother and two children, a boy and a younger girl, in the parking lot. Both kids had Mylar balloons...obviously purchased for good behavior. But just as they began to load their car, the little girl's balloon escaped and began floating away into the dark sky. She didn't cry. She just stood there and watched. I stood there, too...watching it tussle with the breeze as it lifted. I'm sure I can attribute this to seeing too many movies or watching way too much television, but seeing a balloon on the run always makes me feel wistful and dreamy.

It took a second or two, but I finally came to my senses and stepped out of the middle of the thoroughfare. I grabbed my camera phone as fast as I could to snap a shot for the blog, but that balloon was in an awful hurry. I only managed to capture a blur...as well as two other objects that, I'm sure, I hadn't seen before. I quickly put my phone away and trotted inside the safety of the store...a girl simply can't leave herself vulnerable to a potential alien abduction.


On the way home from the grocery store...I lingered a bit in front of my neighbor's house...pining for those stupid crutches, which still beckoned to me from there cardboard nest. I can't explain what on Earth their appeal was to me. The Okidata printer (circa 1989) and the hospital tray table that also sat on the curb did nothing for me...but those crutches...I wanted them so badly that I couldn't stand it. Why would I want these? Why?!

Okay, so I've rescued more than my fair share of junk from the curb in my time...among my top finds are a chair (still have it), a small bookshelf (still have it), an entertainment center (read: an old phone cable spindle...don't still have it)...and...the pièce de résistance...a 1970-something jukebox with a miniature rotating disco ball hanging above the song menu and the words "Be a Pepper" plastered on the side (this was found by me and my brother, Ben, who helped me load it and haul it home...and then promptly reload it and take it to the dump once Mom saw it).

Curb culling is a sickness...I admit to that. But isn't admitting it the first step toward recovery?

You'll be happy to know, I resisted the urge to take the crutches. I settled for a snapshot. But believe me when I tell you that, after such an eventful day and knowing those crutches were calling to me from a mere five houses away...I could barely fall asleep that night.


I did finally drift off, however...and I dreamed of what a fantastic day I had had...and I rested peacefully knowing that, if those ridiculous crutches were still there in the morning...they would be mine.

Thank goodness they weren't.

I'm truly beyond help.

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